evening I went to Giulia. I found her lying full length on a divan, her head sunken in soft cushions. She was immersed in reverie. I wondered whether she was thinking of me, and I went up to her silently, and, bending over her, lightly kissed her lips. She gave a cry, and a frown darkened her eyes.
'You frightened me!'
'I am sorry,' I answered humbly. 'I wanted to surprise you.'
She did not answer, but raised her eyebrows, slightly shrugging her shoulders. I wondered whether something had arisen to vex her. I knew she had a quick temper, but I did not mind it; a cross word was so soon followed by a look of repentance and a word of love. I passed my hand over her beautiful soft hair. The frown came again, and she turned her head away.
'Giulia,' I said, 'what is it?' I took her hand; she withdrew it immediately.
'Nothing,' she answered.
'Why do you turn away from me and withdraw your hand?'
'Why should I not turn away from you and withdraw my hand?'
'Don't you love me, Giulia?'
She gave a sigh, and pretended to look bored. I looked at her, pained at heart and wondering.
'Giulia, my dear, tell me what it is. You are making me very unhappy.'
'Oh, don't I tell you, nothing, nothing, nothing!'
'Why are you cross?'
I put my face to her's, and my arms round her neck. She disengaged herself impatiently.
'You refuse my kisses, Giulia!'
She made another gesture of annoyance.
'Giulia, don't you love me?' My heart was beginning to sink, and I remembered what I had heard from Matteo. Oh, God! could it be true?...
'Yes, of course I love you, but sometimes I must be left in peace.'
'You have only to say the word, and I will go away altogether.'
'I don't want you to do that, but we shall like one another much better if we don't see too much of one another.'
'When one is in love, really and truly, one does not think of such wise precautions.'
'And you are here so often that I am afraid of my good name.'
'You need have no fear about your character,' I answered bitterly. 'One more scandal will not make much difference.'
'You need not insult me!'
I could not be angry with her, I loved her too much, and the words I had said hurt me ten times more than they hurt her. I fell on my knees by her side and took hold of her arms.
'Oh, Giulia, Giulia, forgive me! I don't mean to say anything to wound you. But, for God's sake! don't be so cold. I love you, I love you. Be good to me.'
'I think I have been good to you.... After all, it is not such a very grave matter. I have not taken things more seriously than you.'
'What do you mean?' I cried, aghast.
She shrugged her shoulders.
'I suppose you found me a pretty woman, and thought you could occupy a few spare moments with a pleasant amour. You can hardly have expected me to be influenced by sentiments very different from your own.'
'You mean you do not love me?'
'I love you as much as you love me. I don't suppose either you are Lancelot, or I Guinevere.'
I still knelt at her side in silence, and my head felt as if the vessels in it were bursting....
'You know,' she went on quite calmly, 'one cannot love for ever.'
'But I love you, Giulia; I love you with all my heart and soul! I have had loves picked up for the opportunity's sake, or for pure idleness; but my love for you is different. I swear to you it is a matter of my whole life.'
'That has been said to me so often....'
I was beginning to be overwhelmed.
'But do you mean that it is all finished? Do you mean that you won't have anything more to do with me!'
'I don't say I won't have anything more to do with you.'
'But love? It is love I want.'
She shrugged her shoulders.
'But why not?' I said despairingly. 'Why have you given it me at all if you want to take it away?'
'One is not master of one's love. It comes and goes.'
'Don't you love me at all?'
'No!'
'Oh, God! But why do you tell me this to-day?'
'I had to tell you some time.'
'But why not yesterday, or the day before? Why to-day particularly?'
She did not answer.
'Is it because Giorgio dall' Aste has just returned?'
She started up and her eyes flashed.
'What have they been telling you about him?'
'Has he been here to-day? Were you thinking of him when I came? Were you languorous from his embraces?'
'How dare you!'
'The only lover to whom you have been faithful, more or less!'
'You vowed you did not believe the scandals about me, and now, when I refuse you the smallest thing, you are ready to believe every word. What a love is this! I thought I had heard you talk so often of boundless confidence.'
'I believe every word I have heard against you. I believe you are a harlot.'
She had raised herself from her couch, and we were standing face to face.
'Do you want money? Look! I have as good money as another. I will pay you for your love; here, take it.'
I took gold pieces from my pocket and flung them at her feet.
'Ah,' she cried in indignation, 'you cur! Go, go!'
She pointed to the door. Then I felt a sudden revulsion. I fell on my knees and seized her hands.
'Oh, forgive me, Giulia. I don't know what I am saying; I am mad. But don't rob me of your love; it is the only thing I have to live for. For God's sake, forgive me! Oh, Giulia, I love you, I love you. I can't live without you.' The tears broke from my eyes. I could not stop them.
'Leave me! leave me!'
I was ashamed of my abjectness; I rose up indignant.
'Oh,
