done for me. If you want me near, I’ll take the Edgewood school, so that I can be here nights and Sundays to help; and if you get better, then I’ll go to Augusta,—for that’s a hundred dollars more, with music lessons and other things beside.”
“You listen to me,” said Miranda quaveringly. “Take the best place, regardless o’ my sickness. I’d like to live long enough to know you’d paid off that mortgage, but I guess I shan’t.”
Here she ceased abruptly, having talked more than she had for weeks; and Rebecca stole out of the room, to cry by herself and wonder if old age must be so grim, so hard, so unchastened and unsweetened, as it slipped into the valley of the shadow.
The days went on, and Miranda grew stronger and stronger; her will seemed unassailable, and before long she could be moved into a chair by the window, her dominant thought being to arrive at such a condition of improvement that the doctor need not call more than once a week, instead of daily; thereby diminishing the bill, that was mounting to such a terrifying sum that it haunted her thoughts by day and dreams by night.
Little by little hope stole back into Rebecca’s young heart. Aunt Jane began to “clear starch” her handkerchiefs and collars and purple muslin dress, so that she might be ready to go to Brunswick at any moment when the doctor pronounced Miranda well on the road to recovery. Everything beautiful was to happen in Brunswick if she could be there by August,—everything that heart could wish or imagination conceive, for she was to be Miss Emily’s very own visitor, and sit at table with college professors and other great men.
At length the day dawned when the few clean, simple dresses were packed in the hair trunk, together with her beloved coral necklace, her cheesecloth graduating dress, her class pin, aunt Jane’s lace cape, and the one new hat, which she tried on every night before going to bed. It was of white chip with a wreath of cheap white roses and green leaves, and cost between two and three dollars, an unprecedented sum in Rebecca’s experience. The effect of its glories when worn with her nightdress was dazzling enough, but if ever it appeared in conjunction with the cheesecloth gown, Rebecca felt that even reverend professors might regard it with respect. It is probable indeed that any professorial gaze lucky enough to meet a pair of dark eyes shining under that white rose garland would never have stopped at respect!
Then, when all was ready and Abijah Flagg at the door, came a telegram from Hannah: “Come at once. Mother has had bad accident.”
In less than an hour Rebecca was started on her way to Sunnybrook, her heart palpitating with fear as to what might be awaiting her at her journey’s end.
Death, at all events, was not there to meet her; but something that looked at first only too much like it. Her mother had been standing on the haymow superintending some changes in the barn, had been seized with giddiness, they thought, and slipped. The right knee was fractured and the back strained and hurt, but she was conscious and in no immediate danger, so Rebecca wrote, when she had a moment to send aunt Jane the particulars.
“I don’ know how ‘tis,” grumbled Miranda, who was not able to sit up that day; “but from a child I could never lay abed without Aurelia’s gettin’ sick too. I don’ know ‘s she could help fallin’, though it ain’t anyplace for a woman,—a haymow; but if it hadn’t been that, ‘t would ‘a’ been somethin’ else. Aurelia was born unfortunate. Now she’ll probably be a cripple, and Rebecca’ll have to nurse her instead of earning a good income somewheres else.”
“Her first duty ‘s to her mother,” said aunt Jane; “I hope she’ll always remember that.”
“Nobody remembers anything they’d ought to,—at seventeen,” responded Miranda. “Now that I’m strong again, there’s things I want to consider with you, Jane, things that are on my mind night and day. We’ve talked ‘em over before; now we’ll settle ‘em. When I’m laid away, do you want to take Aurelia and the children down here to the brick house? There’s an awful passel of ‘em,—Aurelia, Jenny, and Fanny; but I won’t have Mark. Hannah can take him; I won’t have a great boy stompin’ out the carpets and ruinin’ the furniture, though I know when I’m dead I can’t hinder ye, if you make up your mind to do anything.”
“I shouldn’t like to go against your feelings, especially in laying out your money, Miranda,” said Jane.
“Don’t tell Rebecca I’ve willed her the brick house. She won’t git it till I’m gone, and I want to take my time ‘bout dyin’ and not be hurried off by them that’s goin’ to profit by it; nor I don’t want to be thanked, neither. I s’pose she’ll use the front stairs as common as the back and like as not have water brought into the kitchen, but mebbe when I’ve been dead a few years I shan’t mind. She sets such store by you, she’ll want you to have your home here as long’s you live, but anyway I’ve wrote it down that way; though Lawyer Burns’s wills don’t hold more’n half the time. He’s cheaper, but I guess it comes out jest the same in the end. I wan’t goin’ to have the fust man Rebecca picks up for a husband turnin’ you ou’doors.”
There was a long pause, during which Jane knit silently, wiping the tears from her eyes from time to time, as she looked at the pitiful figure lying weakly on the pillows. Suddenly Miranda said slowly and feebly:—
“I don’ know after all but you might as well take Mark; I s’pose there’s tame boys as well as wild ones. There ain’t a mite o’ sense in havin’ so many children, but it’s a turrible risk splittin’ up families and farmin’ ‘em out here ‘n’ there; they’d never come to no good, an’ everybody would keep rememberin’ their mother was a Sawyer. Now if you’ll draw down the curtin, I’ll try to sleep.”
Chapter XXIX.
Mother and Daughter
Two months had gone by,—two months of steady, fagging work; of cooking, washing, ironing; of mending and caring for the three children, although Jenny was fast becoming a notable little housewife, quick, ready, and capable. They were months in which there had been many a weary night of watching by Aurelia’s bedside; of soothing and bandaging and rubbing; of reading and nursing, even of feeding and bathing. The ceaseless care was growing less now, and the family breathed more freely, for the mother’s sigh of pain no longer came from the stifling bedroom, where, during a hot and humid August, Aurelia had lain, suffering with every breath she drew. There would be no question of walking for many a month to come, but blessings seemed to multiply when the blinds could be opened and the bed drawn near the window; when mother, with pillows behind her, could at least sit and watch the work going on, could smile at the past agony and forget the weary hours that had led to her present comparative ease and comfort.
No girl of seventeen can pass through such an ordeal and come out unchanged; no girl of Rebecca’s temperament could go through it without some inward repining and rebellion. She was doing tasks in which she could not be fully happy,—heavy and trying tasks, which perhaps she could never do with complete success or satisfaction; and like promise of nectar to thirsty lips was the vision of joys she had had to put aside for the performance of dull daily duty. How brief, how fleeting, had been those splendid visions when the universe seemed open for her young strength to battle and triumph in! How soon they had faded into the light of common day! At first, sympathy and grief were so keen she thought of nothing but her mother’s pain. No consciousness of self interposed between her and her filial service; then, as the weeks passed, little blighted hopes began to stir and ache in her breast; defeated ambitions raised their heads as if to sting her; unattainable delights teased her by their very nearness; by the narrow line of separation that lay between
