The Collected Plays of George Bernard Shaw - 60 Titles in One Edition (Illustrated Edition). GEORGE BERNARD SHAW
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COKANE [surprised] Of course.
SARTORIUS [with sudden passion] It is not of course, sir. [Cokane, startled, looks at him with dawning suspicion. Sartorius recovers himself somewhat shamefacedly]. Hm! “ — of a gentleman of considerable wealth and position.”
COKANE [echoing him with a new note of coldness in his voice as he writes the last words] “ — and position—”
‘SARTORIUS “ — which, however, he has made entirely for himself.” [Cokane, now fully enlightened, stares at him instead of writing.] Have you written that?
COKANE [expanding into an attitude of patronage and encouragement] Ah, indeed. Quite so, quite so. [He writes] “ — entirely for himself.” Just so. Proceed, Mr Sartorius, proceed. Very clearly expressed.
SARTORIUS “The young lady will inherit the bulk of her father’s fortune, and will be liberally treated on her marriage. Her education has been of the most expensive and complete kind obtainable; and her surroundings have been characterized by the strictest refinement. She is in every essential particular—”
COKANE [interrupting] Excuse the remark; but dont you think this is rather too much in the style of a prospectus of the young lady? I throw out the suggestion as a matter of taste.
SARTORIUS [troubled] Perhaps you are right. I am of course not dictating the exact words-
COKANE Of course not: Of course not.
SARTORIUS — but I desire that there may be no wrong impression as to my daughter’s — er — breeding. As to myself —
COKANE Oh, it will be sufficient to mention your profession, or pursuits, or — [He pauses; and they look pretty hard at one another].
SARTORIUS [very deliberately] My income, sir, is derived from the rental of a very extensive real estate in London. Lady Roxdale is one of the head landlords; and Dr Trench holds a mortgage from which, if I mistake not, his entire income is derived. The truth is, Mr Cokane, I am quite well acquainted with Dr Trench’s position and affairs; and I have long desired to know him personally.
COKANE [again obsequious, but still inquisitive] What a remarkable coincidence! In what quarter is the estate situated, did you say?
SARTORIUS In London, sir. Its management occupies as much of my time as is not devoted to the ordinary pursuits of a gentleman. [He rises and takes out his card case]. The rest I leave to your discretion. [He leaves a card on the table]. That is my address at Surbiton. If it should unfortunately happen, Mr Cokane, that this leads to nothing but a disappointment for Blanche, probably she would rather not see you afterwards. But if all turns out as we hope, Dr Trench’s best friends will then be our best friends.
COKANE [rising and confronting Sartorius confidently, pencil and paper in hand] Rely on me, Mr Sartorius. The letter is already finished here [pointing to his brain]. In five minutes it will be finished there [He points to the paper, nods to emphasize the assertion, and begins to pace up and down the garden, writing, and tapping his forehead from time to time as he goes, with every appearance of severe intellectual exertion.]
SARTORIUS [calling through the gate after a glance at his watch] Blanche.
BLANCHE [replying in the distance] Yes?
SARTORIUS Time, my dear. [He goes into the table d’hote].
BLANCHE [nearer] Coming. [She comes back through the gate, followed by Trench.]
TRENCH [in a half whisper, as Blanche goes towards the table d’hote] Blanche: stop one moment. [She stops.] We must be careful when your father is by. I had to promise him not to regard anything as settled until I hear from my people at home.
BLANCHE [chilled] Oh, I see. Your family may object to me; and then it will be all over between us. They are almost sure to.
TRENCH [anxiously] Dont say that, Blanche: It sounds as if you didnt care. I hope you regard it as settled. You havnt made any promise, you know.
BLANCHE [earnestly] Yes, I have : / promised papa too. But I have broken my promise for your sake. I suppose I am not so conscientious as you. And if the matter is not to be regarded as settled, family or no family, promise or no promise, let us break it off here and now.
TRENCH [intoxicated with affection] Blanche: On my most sacred honor, family or no family, promise or no promise [ The waiter reappears at the table d’hote entrance, ringing his bell loudly.] Damn that noise!
COKANE [as he comes to them, flourishing the letter] Finished, dear boy, finished. Done to a turn, punctually to the second. C’est fini, mon cher garçon, c’est fini. [Sartorius returns].
SARTORIUS. Will you take Blanche in, Dr Trench? [Trench takes Blanche into the table d’hote.] Is the letter finished, Mr Cokane?
COKANE [with an author’s pride, handing his draft to Sartorius] There! [Sartorius reads it, nodding gravely over it with complete approval.]
SARTORIUS [returning the draft] Thank you, Mr Cokane. You have the pen of a ready writer.
COKANE [as they go in together] Not at all, not at all. A little tact, Mr Sartorius; a little knowledge of the world; a little experience of women. [They disappear into the annexe.]
ACT II
In the library of a handsomely appointed villa at Surbiton on a sunny forenoon in September. Sartorius is busy at a writing table, littered with business letters. The fireplace, decorated for summer, is close behind him : the window is in the opposite wall. Between the table and the window Blanche, in her prettiest frock, sits reading The Queen. The door, painted, like all the woodwork, in the blackest shade of red, with brass fittings and moulded posts and pediment, is in the middle. All the walls are lined with shelves of smartly tooled books, fitting into their places like bricks. A library ladder stands in the corner.
SARTORIUS Blanche.
BLANCHE Yes, papa.
SARTORIUS I have some news here.
BLANCHE What is it?
SARTORIUS I mean news for you from Trench.
BLANCHE [with affected indifference] Indeed?
SARTORIUS “Indeed?”! Is that all you have to say to me? Oh, very well. [He resumes his work. Silence.]
BLANCHE What do his people say, papa?
SARTORIUS His people! I dont know. [Still busy. Another pause.]
BLANCHE What does he say?
SARTORIUS He! He says nothing. [He folds a letter leisurely and looks for the envelope.] He prefers to communicate the result of his where did I put — Oh, here. Yes: He prefers to communicate the result in person.
BLANCHE