she said to herself:
“I promised Peter to treat them as if they were my own, and I will fulfil the duties I have undertaken.” Full of joyous excitement, she entered the sick-room, hastily closing the door behind her. Doctor Bontius looked at her with a reproving glance, and Barbara said:
“Gently, gently! Bessie is just sleeping a little.” Maria approached the bed, but the physician waved her back, saying:
“Have you had the purple-fever?”
“No.”
“Then you ought not to enter this room again. No other help is needed where Frau Barbara nurses.”
The burgomaster’s wife made no reply, and returned to the entry. Her heart was so heavy, so unutterably heavy. She felt like a stranger in her husband’s house. Some impulse urged her to go out of doors, and as she wrapped her mantle around her and went downstairs, the smell of leather rising from the bales piled in layers on the lower story, which she had scarcely noticed before, seemed unendurable. She longed for her mother, her friends in Delft, and her quiet, cheerful home. For the first time she ventured to call herself unhappy and, while walking through the streets with downcast eyes against the wind, struggled vainly to resist some mysterious, gloomy power, that compelled her to minutely recall everything that had resulted differently from her expectations.
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