King Henry IV. William Hazlitt

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King Henry IV - William  Hazlitt

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Yea, there thou makest me sad, and makest me sin

       In envy that my Lord Northumberland

       Should be the father to so blest a son,—

       A son who is the theme of honour’s tongue;

       Amongst a grove, the very straightest plant;

       Who is sweet Fortune’s minion and her pride:

       Whilst I, by looking on the praise of him,

       See riot and dishonour stain the brow

       Of my young Harry. O, that it could be proved

       That some night-tripping fairy had exchanged

       In cradle-clothes our children where they lay,

       And call’d mine Percy, his Plantagenet!

       Then would I have his Harry, and he mine:

       But let him from my thoughts. What think you, coz,

       Of this young Percy’s pride? the prisoners,

       Which he in this adventure hath surprised,

       To his own use he keeps; and sends me word,

       I shall have none but Mordake Earl of Fife.

      WEST.

       This is his uncle’s teaching, this is Worcester,

       Malevolent to you in all aspects;

       Which makes him prune himself, and bristle up

       The crest of youth against your dignity.

      KING.

       But I have sent for him to answer this;

       And for this cause awhile we must neglect

       Our holy purpose to Jerusalem.

       Cousin, on Wednesday next our Council we

       Will hold at Windsor; so inform the lords:

       But come yourself with speed to us again;

       For more is to be said and to be done

       Than out of anger can be uttered.

      WEST.

       I will, my liege.

      [Exeunt.]

      SCENE II.

       The same. An Apartment of Prince Henry’s.

       Table of Contents

      [Enter Prince Henry and Falstaff.]

      FAL.

       Now, Hal, what time of day is it, lad?

      PRINCE. Thou art so fat-witted, with drinking of old sack, and unbuttoning thee after supper, and sleeping upon benches after noon, that thou hast forgotten to demand that truly which thou wouldst truly know. What a devil hast thou to do with the time of the day? unless hours were cups of sack, and minutes capons, and the blessed Sun himself a fair hot wench in flame-coloured taffeta, I see no reason why thou shouldst be so superfluous to demand the time of the day.

      FAL. Indeed, you come near me now, Hal; for we that take purses go by the Moon and the seven stars, and not by Phoebus,—he, that wandering knight so fair. And I pr’ythee, sweet wag, when thou art king,—as, God save thy Grace—Majesty I should say, for grace thou wilt have none,—

      PRINCE.

       What, none?

      FAL. No, by my troth; not so much as will serve to be prologue to an egg and butter.

      PRINCE.

       Well, how then? come, roundly, roundly.

      FAL. Marry, then, sweet wag, when thou art king, let not us that are squires of the night’s body be called thieves of the day’s beauty: let us be Diana’s foresters, gentlemen of the shade, minions of the Moon; and let men say we be men of good government, being governed, as the sea is, by our noble and chaste mistress the Moon, under whose countenance we steal.

      PRINCE. Thou say’st well, and it holds well too; for the fortune of us that are the Moon’s men doth ebb and flow like the sea, being governed, as the sea is, by the Moon. As, for proof, now: A purse of gold most resolutely snatch’d on Monday night, and most dissolutely spent on Tuesday morning; got with swearing Lay by, and spent with crying Bring in; now ill as low an ebb as the foot of the ladder, and by-and-by in as high a flow as the ridge of the gallows.

      FAL. By the Lord, thou say’st true, lad. And is not my hostess of the tavern a most sweet wench?

      PRINCE. As the honey of Hybla, my old lad of the castle. And is not a buff jerkin a most sweet robe of durance?

      FAL. How now, how now, mad wag! what, in thy quips and thy quiddities? what a plague have I to do with a buff jerkin?

      PRINCE.

       Why, what a pox have I to do with my hostess of the tavern?

      FAL.

       Well, thou hast call’d her to a reckoning many a time and oft.

      PRINCE.

       Did I ever call for thee to pay thy part?

      FAL.

       No; I’ll give thee thy due, thou hast paid all there.

      PRINCE. Yea, and elsewhere, so far as my coin would stretch; and where it would not, I have used my credit.

      FAL. Yea, and so used it, that, were it not here apparent that thou art heir-apparent—But I pr’ythee, sweet wag, shall there be gallows standing in England when thou art king? and resolution thus fobb’d as it is with the rusty curb of old father antic the law? Do not thou, when thou art king, hang a thief.

      PRINCE.

       No; thou shalt.

      FAL.

       Shall I? O rare! By the Lord, I’ll be a brave judge.

      PRINCE. Thou judgest false already: I mean, thou shalt have the hanging of the thieves, and so become a rare hangman.

      FAL. Well, Hal, well; and in some sort it jumps with my humour; as well as waiting in the Court, I can tell you.

      PRINCE.

       For obtaining of suits?

      FAL. Yea, for obtaining of suits, whereof the hangman hath no lean wardrobe. ‘Sblood, I am as melancholy as a gib-cat or a lugg’d bear.

      PRINCE.

      

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