Page. I’ll be with her by and by; I’ll but bring my young man here to school.
[Enter] Evans.
Look where his master comes; ’tis a playing-day, I see. How now, Sir Hugh, no school to-day?
Evans. No; Master Slender is let the boys leave to play.
Quick. Blessing of his heart!
Mrs. Page. Sir Hugh, my husband says my son profits nothing in the world at his book. I pray you ask him some questions in his accidence.
Evans. Come hither, William; hold up your head; come.
Mrs. Page. Come on, sirrah; hold up your head. Answer your master, be not afraid.
Evans. William, how many numbers is in nouns?
Will. Two.
Quick. Truly, I thought there had been one number more, because they say, “’Od’s nouns.”
Evans. Peace your tattlings! What is ‘fair,’ William?
Will. Pulcher.
Quick. Poulcats? There are fairer things than poulcats sure.
Evans. You are a very simplicity oman; I pray you peace. What is lapis, William?
Will. A stone.
Evans. And what is ‘a stone,’ William?
Will. A pebble.
Evans. No; it is lapis. I pray you remember in your prain.
Will. Lapis.
Evans. That is a good William. What is he, William, that does lend articles?
Will. Articles are borrow’d of the pronoun, and be thus declin’d, Singulariter, nominativo, hic, haec, hoc.
Evans. Nominativo, hig, hag, hog; pray you mark; genitivo, hujus. Well, what is your accusative case?
Will. Accusativo, hinc.
Evans. I pray you have your remembrance, child. Accusativo, [hung], hang, hog.
Quick. ‘Hang-hog’ is Latin for bacon, I warrant you.
Evans. Leave your prabbles, oman. What is the focative case, William?
Will. O—vocativo, O.
Evans. Remember, William, focative is caret.
Quick. And that’s a good root.
Evans. Oman, forbear.
Mrs. Page. Peace!
Evans. What is your genitive case plural, William?
Will. Genitive case?
Evans. Ay.
Will. [Genitivo,] horum, harum, horum.
Quick. Vengeance of Jinny’s case! Fie on her! never name her, child, if she be a whore.
Evans. For shame, oman.
Quick. You do ill to teach the child such words. He teaches him to ‘hic’ and to ‘hac,’ which they’ll do fast enough of themselves, and to call ‘horum,’—fie upon you!
Evans. Oman, art thou [lunatics]? Hast thou no understandings for thy cases and the numbers of the genders? Thou art as foolish Christian creatures as I would desires.
Mrs. Page. Prithee hold thy peace.
Evans. Show me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns.
Will. Forsooth, I have forgot.
Evans. It is qui, [quae], quod: if you forget your qui’s, your [quae’s], and your quod’s, you must be preeches. Go your ways and play, go.
Mrs. Page. He is a better scholar than I thought he was.
Evans. He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, Mistress Page.
Mrs. Page. Adieu, good Sir Hugh. [Exit Evans.] Get you home, boy. Come, we stay too long.
Exeunt.
¶
Scene II
Enter Falstaff, Mistress Ford.
Fal. Mistress Ford, your sorrow hath eaten up my sufferance. I see you are obsequious in your love, and I profess requital to a hair’s breadth, not only, Mistress Ford, in the simple office of love, but in all the accoustrement, complement, and ceremony of it. But are you sure of your husband now?
Mrs. Ford. He’s a-birding, sweet Sir John.
Mrs. Page [Within.] What ho, gossip Ford! What ho!
Mrs. Ford. Step into th’ chamber, Sir John.
[Exit Falstaff.]
[Enter] Mistress Page.
Mrs. Page. How now, sweet heart, who’s at home besides yourself?
Mrs. Ford. Why, none but mine own people.
Mrs. Page. Indeed?
Mrs. Ford. No, certainly. [Aside to her.] Speak louder.
Mrs. Page. Truly, I am so glad you have nobody here.
Mrs. Ford. Why?
Mrs. Page. Why, woman, your husband is in his old lines again. He so takes on yonder with my husband; so rails against all married mankind; so curses all Eve’s daughters, of what complexion soever; and so buffets himself on the forehead, crying, “Peer out, peer out!”, that any madness I ever yet beheld seem’d but tameness, civility, and patience to this his distemper he is in now. I am glad the fat knight is not here.
Mrs. Ford. Why, does he talk of him?
Mrs. Page. Of none but him, and swears he was carried out, the last time he search’d for him, in a basket; protests to my husband he is now here, and hath drawn him and the rest of their company from their sport, to make another experiment
