Theater Plays. Valentin Krasnogorov

Чтение книги онлайн.

Читать онлайн книгу Theater Plays - Valentin Krasnogorov страница 17

Theater Plays - Valentin Krasnogorov

Скачать книгу

style="font-size:15px;">      WIFE. Yes. Everything between her knees and her waist.

      HUSBAND. I’m a normal man.

      WIFE. I wish I was sure of that.

      HUSBAND. You are talking recklessly.

      WIFE. That’s good. I grew up inhibited and uptight. Sex was forbidden. Nobody spoke about it. It was obscene, done only at night. Only with the shades down and the lights off. So that nobody would see, even yourself. It was forbidden to remember it in the morning or discuss it at work. We were sexless. We had nothing between our legs. And now they do it in broad daylight. Now they show it at the movies. Now they write about it in children's books. Recently I found twenty-two tips on how to use birth-control in a magazine for schoolgirls. And I had never read about it before.

      HUSBAND. So what do you want?

      WIFE. To take the taboo off of sex. To free it from sin. To lift the veil of secrecy from it. To stop alluding to it. To call things by their proper names. Penis. Orgasm. Vagina.

      HUSBAND. You’re crazy..

      WIFE. Yes, I’ll repeat the word "vagina" twenty times, two hundred times, until the word starts to sound neutral, sterile, medical. Until you stop reacting to it; until people who hear it stop giggling, or being offended by the vulgarity of it, stop being indignant or getting excited. Vagina, vagina, vagina…

      HUSBAND. Stop it!

      WIFE. Vagina, vagina, vagina…

      HUSBAND. You’re crazy.

      WIFE. And you’re a hypocrite. A puritan. What is more attractive to you than a vagina? What do you see in your dreams? What do you pay the most attention to when you look at paintings in museums? What is the main thing for you in a woman? The eyes? The smile? Well, answer me!

      HUSBAND. You’re crazy.

      WIFE. I know. This life is enough to drive anyone crazy. Have I ever truly lived? What have I seen? What have I done? Home and work, home and work, home and work… And what happens at home? What happens at work? Where is my life? What have I done with it? So there is only one thing left to do – try to lose myself in sex and forget all my petty problems. They not worth worrying about anyway, but still they overwhelm and oppress me. To stop hating myself, even for just ten minutes. Not to think, even for just one second. Not to remember. Not to care. Just feel. The joy of being alive. The pleasure. The delight of taking and being taken. Man and woman are always in a state of war, and sex is the one moment of truce, the one field of mutual understanding and attraction. The one moment when you don’t feel lonely. An act of unity, a time of reconciliation with life, an illusion of love, a glimpse of happiness, an opportunity for self-affirmation.

      Pause.

      HUSBAND. Well, if you really want to have sex with me…

      WIFE. With you? What makes you think that?

      HUSBAND. You said, “Let's have sex.”

      WIFE. But I didn’t say, “with you.” Just “Let's have sex.”

      HUSBAND. Not necessarily with me?

      WIFE. No, not necessarily.

      HUSBAND. With whom then?

      WIFE. Do you have anyone else that you can have sex with but me?

      HUSBAND. Not right at this moment.

      WIFE. What about other times?

      HUSBAND. Theoretically – with anybody.

      WIFE. Leave the theory aside, let’s get to the practice.

      HUSBAND. I am tired of your nagging.

      WIFE. My poor, unfortunate husband. He’s tired to death of sex. Apparently, forever.

      HUSBAND. You know, I’ve had enough of you. Maybe you really think I am your husband, but I don’t consider you my wife. And I am not going to have sex with a strange woman.

      WIFE. Why do you think I want to have sex?

      HUSBAND. Well, what do you want?

      WIFE. Nothing. That’s the problem. I don’t want anything. I’m depressed. Every day the same thing. I am so depressed…

      HUSBAND. So why torment me? Why ask for sex if you don’t want it? Just to spite me?

      WIFE. Have I no right to talk? I’m your wife!

      HUSBAND. Leave me alone! You are not my wife! I hate the very word "wife"! My wife has ruined my life! My wife has driven me crazy! Stop it! Leave me alone! (Leaves.)

      WIFE. (Alone). A little more of this, and I really will go crazy. I have to save myself. I need a change. As soon as possible… Otherwise it will be too late. As soon as possible… What to do? What to do?

      PROFESSOR. (Entering). What to do? I’ll tell you. Let’s have sex.

      WIFE. That’s a surprising proposition.

      PROFESSOR. Good! Sex shouldn’t be planned. It’s only good when it’s spontaneous. It should be sudden like a whirlwind, unexpected like an earthquake. It should catch us by surprise, when we’re not hoping for it, where it doesn’t seem possible. Do you agree?

      WIFE. Yes.

      PROFESSOR. Then let’s start now.

      WIFE. Not so fast.

      PROFESSOR. But you said you agreed.

      WIFE. I agree in principle. Not to your proposition, but to what you said about the whirlwind and earthquake.

      PROFESSOR. If you agree in principle, then let’s get started. We can work out the details as we go along. Or when we’re done.

      WIFE. I don’t have time.

      PROFESSOR. Neither do I. So let’s not waste it. Let’s get started right away.

      WIFE. I am not used to doing it “right away.” I need time.

      PROFESSOR. Nonsense. Imagine you’ve been swept up by a whirlwind.

      WIFE. Besides, we don’t really have time. By the way, what time is it?

      PROFESSOR. You’re kidding! Who has sex with a watch in his hand?

      WIFE. What makes you think that I want to have sex?

      PROFESSOR. Everybody wants to have sex.

      WIFE. But not me.

      PROFESSOR. So what do you want to do? Learn to speak German?

      WIFE. I don’t want to do anything. And definitely not have sex.

      PROFESSOR. You don’t want to have sex at all or just right now?

      WIFE. Not at all.

      PROFESSOR. That’s why you’ve called me?

      WIFE. Me? I didn’t called you. Who are you, anyway?

      PROFESSOR.

Скачать книгу