to take care of yourself?”
My misting eyes darted. My mother was right; what was I thinking? I wasn’t in the right place or mind to be having a child, not now, possibly not ever. Something else I openly refused to acknowledge, she was smug enough.
“I’m not even going to dignify your inquisitive mind with an answer, and presume all you want, you aren’t worthy of my time, nor the energy I waste trying to talk to you.”
“Oh, come now, Theodora, that’s an omission right there. You’re pregnant when clearly, you shouldn’t be. Have you forgotten what happened to your last child? She died because your body was already incapable of taking care of something so precious. Do you want it to happen again?”
By now, my betraying tears streamed down my face. How could a mother be so callous? She knew bringing up painful memories from my past would hurt me. Yet, here she was, doing it anyway.
My anger boiled over spilling a venom as toxic as the person standing before me. “You condescending bitch! How can you come here, to the one place not tainted by your malice and lies, under false pretence? Then you add salt to the wound by self-righteously mocking me. Is this how you get off, Mother, hurting me? Just get the hell out of my life and stay out of it. I don’t need you!! I hate you!”
In the blink of an eye, I felt my head painfully jerk sideways. Then I felt the burn of my mother’s handprint imprinted in my right cheek. Then a wave of adulterated anger I unleashed on the person who was supposed to be my mother. But no longer would she be entitled to that privilege.
Nursing my reddening face, I turned my head, meeting her hardened expression with my glacial stare. “Get. The. Fuck. Out.”
She didn’t budge.
“Are you quite done, Theodora?”
My teeth gritted. “I said – Get the fuck out!”
In another malicious move, she crudely seized my wrists and grasped them tightly as I wrangled against her hold.
“Let me go, or else!”
Unfazed by my veiled threats, her coldhearted stare dropped to the faded scars. “Hmm, you do realise you cut in the wrong direction, don’t you?”
Suddenly I no longer felt brave; I only felt incoherence. Sweat coated my shaking hands, and my breath raggedly exhaled as my throat tightened and my heart savagely pounded, making each inhaling breath a struggle. “You – bitch. Leave me – the hell alone!”
Flippantly dropping my arms, jeering eyes rolled. “Quit with the dramatics, dear daughter – it’s boring the hell out of me.”
Nonchalantly, she bent and picked up her purse. “Oh, and another thing, Theodora…” she enunciated abrasively. “Do Ari and his family a great service by breaking it off; you’re embarrassing them with this neurotic behaviour of yours. He could do so much better, not that you needed reminding.”
A satisfied smirk spread across vibrantly red-stained lips. Then without a backward glance, my mother pivoted on the spikes of her heels and strolled self-assured out the door, leaving me staring at the one reflection I’d always dreaded facing and knew to be true.
“Teddy…wake up.”
My brows furrowed at the sound of a lilted, timbre male voice gently chanting my name. But as their soft knuckles brushed my aching cheek, I let out a visceral groan, violently swatting their hand away. “Don’t touch me!”
“Teddy! Wake up!” they frantically insisted, only harsher and louder, startling me.
I flicked my eyelids open, struggling to focus on the person hovering above me. “What the f…?” I exclaimed, sitting up in a rush. A little too quick and swiftly laid back down as the room began to spin. As if that wasn’t bad enough, I also felt queasy, a rotten combination making me feel worse with each passing second.
As much as I loved Ari, his proximity was suffocating. As was the cologne I usually loved. “You’re as white as a sheet, what’s wrong?”
“I just felt…” I managed to mutter before my nausea suddenly rose past the point of no return. I jolted upright and clapped one hand to my mouth while shoving Ari out of the firing line with the other as I stumbled in the direction of the bathroom, slamming the door against the wall as I shoved it open. The stall door copped the same fate just as my trembling knees gave way, catapulting me towards the bowl. Ari surprisingly rushed in behind me, crouching askew to hold my hair back in a makeshift ponytail while I clung to the porcelain heaving. For the little amount I threw up, it was draining and had to force myself to slump my lathered body against the cubicle barrier when the vomiting eventually stopped. I then decided the floor beneath me was cooler and was about to flop my overheated body against the tiles when an objecting Ari grabbed me by the shoulders.
“You want to lie across the floor? In here, Teddy?” he sputtered haughtily. “It’s a dreadfully unhygienic place for a rest!” I got that he was concerned, but his prim and proper attitude was the last thing I needed.
I glowered. “Either you shut up and help me lie down before I pass out, or you can leave! Your choice!”
He opened his mouth to argue but wisely closed it again as I wagged a finger at him.
“Don’t!”
Exhaling sharply, he begrudgingly guided me downwards. “Careful, watch your head.”
I sighed with relief as my cheek pressed against the cold tiles while an unimpressed Ari dropped to his knees, lovingly brushing the damp strands of hair from my sweaty face with the tips of his fingers. A gentle touch that lulled me into a sense of momentary peace as I gave up the ghost and closed my drooping eyelids.
“What’s brought this on?”
Well, that peace lasted all of five seconds.
Swirling emotions, along with a killer headache had put me in a choleric mood, and at best, managed to reply with a vague wave of the hand, displeasing him immensely.
“Could you be a little more specific? Please?”
My eyes flicked open. “No,” I growled, mollifying Ari with a verbal response. “Help me up…” He elicited a heavy sigh and leaned back, folding taught arms across his puffing chest. With a roll of the eyes, I huffed. “…Please.” Clearly using my manners was all that I needed to have him help me drag my sorry arse off the floor. But just as he wrapped an arm around my shoulder, another wave of nausea hit me, driving me to lunge for the toilet bowl once more. Except I was empty and only retched loudly. How embarrassing. Depleted, I fell back against the wall and blew out a wearisome sigh as I peered up at a furrowed Ari. “What’s wrong?”
“Your bout of illness had nothing to do with the pregnancy, did it?”
Again, my reply was vague as I shrugged my sagging shoulders.
Infuriated, he rushed to his feet and reprimanded me, “Stop with the nebulous responses, Teddy, they’re damned exasperating!”
In a knee jerk reaction, I swivelled my head rapidly, making me wince as I looked up at him. “Well, help me up off this damned floor, and I’ll tell you!” I angrily quavered, grinding the heel of my palm against my throbbing forehead.
