love magic and it helps to convey the particular theme I was focusing on. For example, when talking about the Sacrament of Reconciliation, or Confession, I would cut a length of rope into two pieces, explaining how sin affects our relationship with God and with others. After explaining how God hates sin but will never stop loving us, I talk about the power of forgiveness and how it can mend our relationship with others. As I explain that, I tie the two lengths together and they look at me with the expression, ‘So, big deal, you tied the ropes together and now there is a knot holding them together.’ Then I talk about the power of the Sacrament and how it can heal our relationship with God. As I explain this, I slide the knot off the rope and throw it out to the audience, showing the now restored rope which reflects our restored relationship.”
Rick smiled. “I want you to show me that trick eventually and, in fact, I would like to learn how to do it. But, for now, I have one outstanding question about being ‘called.’ What if we hear God’s call but choose not to heed his call?”
I smiled in return. “That’s fine—we are not meant to respond blindly at once. Unlike all the other creatures in the world, we are the only ones that can weigh the pros and cons of a situation and make a decision. As I said, I received a few calls to consider the diaconate but, at the time, I choose against going down that path. But God is a master seed planter, and our answering the call may have to wait a while. Whether we wait or act immediately, we have to trust and totally surrender to God. Surrendering to him is not about giving in immediately, becoming a puppet, being naïve, irresponsible, or stopping all planning and thinking. Surrendering is about trusting him and working to keep that channel open.”
After a rather long pause, Rick continued, “So, let me just summarize some of the points I got out of what you said:
As far as describing the concept of a call, you did a great job with that, thank you.
You believe that we are all called in various ways and at various times, but we need to build and maintain a relationship with God to be receptive to his calls.
You feel that once that channel is open, we will not only hear his calls but communicate and trust when to heed his calls.
You evaluated your first two calls to the diaconate and you and your wife decided that raising a family was the best path to travel during those times. But eventually, as you maintained a relationship with God, that call continued, and you reached a point where you were ready to pursue it.
Is that all accurate?”
Nodding, “Yes, I think that captures the essence of my explanation. I know my explanation of a call was rather involved, but this concept runs deep with me and I want your readers to know that God speaks to all of us and wants to have a relationship with all of us. Knowing that will do them more good than reading that a particular deacon felt that he was called.”
Rick continued, “So this brings us to your third call to the diaconate. I would like to know how you developed your garden, so to speak, how you established and maintained a relationship with Christ, and how you achieved a rich-soil state, as you termed it, where you were able to discern and heed that third call.”
I poured us both some more coffee, took a deep breath, and then addressed his question, “Well, everyone has a different story as to how they established a relationship with Christ or, as my Protestant friends would say, found Christ. My relationship with Christ was a product of three main influences in my life. It started in my childhood, it grew in college through a hunger for spiritual insight, initiated by the books I mentioned, and then found a home through a special priest in my early twenties.”
“The books you mentioned earlier, you mean The World’s Great Thinkers?”
“Yes, they actually triggered many other books while in college, but yes, they started me off. Before that, however, as a child, we had this huge Bible in the living room. I never read it, but always looked at the pictures—pictures of all the main events that fascinated me, such as Samson and Delilah, Daniel and the Lions, David and Goliath, and above all, Christ’s Passion and Crucifixion. As I got older, it was the movies of those events that got my attention. I remember my mom and I, at Easter time, watching ‘The King of Kings,’ the story of Jesus played by Jeffrey Hunter. Those movies touched me, and despite the fact that my parents never attended church, I always took that Sunday walk in my home town of Magnolia, to St. Gregory’s Church for Mass. I had no clue about what was being said, for it was in Latin, but I found so much peace there.”
Rick politely interrupted, “Peace?”
Smiling, I explained the best I could. “Well, as a kid, I couldn’t define it but I could feel it. Looking back, and defining it today, I would say it was a silence—a silence that allowed me to hear things that normally were drowned out by various noises. As I said, in looking back and trying to define that peace, I would say it was that silence that allowed me to get a glimpse of a connection between God and my own heart. I just felt close to him in that silence and I never forgot that feeling of peace.”
“I understand, Tom—it was a feeling of everything is right in the world.”
“Yes, that’s pretty much it.” Somewhat surprised at Rick’s understanding of the peace I felt, I continued, “As I grew, I started reading the Bible and became interested in many philosophies and religions. In college, I became interested in many of the Eastern philosophies and religions, such as Taoism and Buddhism. On the surface, they contained practical advice for moral conduct and action. Whatever the reason, they got my attention. I even studied Chinese Kung Fu, but as I continued to read and seek new ideas, religions, and philosophies, I was led back to Christianity. Through my studies in the Eastern philosophies and religions, I saw Christianity, specifically Catholicism, through an Eastern, or mystical view. Some of the writings that had a huge influence on me during that time of soul searching were from Alan Watts, Richard Bach, Og Mandino, Erich Fromm, Blaise Pascal, Mahatma Gandhi, Confucius, and especially Thomas Merton.”
Rick interjected, “Can you give me a few examples of why you were moved by these authors?”
“Sure!” I was always excited to talk about some of the authors that had such an influence on me. “Richard Back wrote a book called ‘Illusions.’ It was a story about the adventures of a reluctant messiah. Some of his thoughts were ‘freeing’ to me. One in particular was, ‘Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself.’ Mahatma Gandhi said, ‘The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.’ Alan Watts made me relook at Catholicism in a mystical way. When bread and wine are transformed into the body and blood of Christ, well, that’s as mystical as you can get. All these writings seemed to provide a ray of truth for me. I was soon to learn that all of these rays of truth came from the one Holy Spirit. Looking back, I definitely felt guided as I explored all these concepts. Thomas Merton put it so eloquently. He said, ‘We have what we seek, it is there all the time, and if we give it time, it will make itself known to us.’ So, that’s what seemed to happen to me. I was going through what Merton went through. I was exploring all these Eastern philosophies and religions only to end up where I started in Catholicism. The difference for me, however, was that I no longer just went through the motions of saying prayers and going to church. I was introduced to meditation techniques and deeper prayer practices, all of which made the Mass become a very real experience for me. Consequently, my relationship with Christ also became very real and meaningful.”
“As you talk about how these authors and philosophies, it seems clear to me that you had a hunger driving you. You said you were introduced to meditation techniques. Can you describe what that was like?”
“One day while walking across the campus, there was a table set up and this couple was handing out brochures
