[to Marthe]. Do I spoil you?
Marthe. Yes, yes, of course.
Lamblin. That's right. Everybody happy? That's all we can ask, isn't that so, Mamma Bail? Take care, I warn you! If you continue to look at me that way I'm likely to become dangerous!
Madame Bail. Silly man.
Lamblin. Ha!
Madame Bail [to Marthe]. Laugh, why don't you?
Marthe. I do.
Lamblin [bringing his wife to him and putting her upon his knee]. No, no, but you don't laugh enough, little one. Now, to punish you, I'm going to give you another kiss. [He kisses her.]
Marthe. Oh! Your beard pricks so! Now, take your coffee, or it'll get cold, and then you'll scold Julie again. [A pause.]
Lamblin. It looks like pleasant weather to-morrow!
Madame Bail. What made you think of that?
Lamblin. The particles of sugar have all collected at the bottom of my cup. [He drinks his coffee.]
Madame Bail. As a matter of fact, I hope the weather will be nice.
Lamblin. Do you have to go out?
Madame Bail. I must go to Argentuil.
Lamblin. Now, my dear mother-in-law, what are you going to do at Argentuil? I have an idea that there must be some old general there—?
MADAME BAIL [ironically]. Exactly! How would you like it if—?
Lamblin. Don't joke about such things!
Madame Bail. You needn't worry! Catch me marrying again!
Lamblin [timidly]. There is a great deal to be said for the happiness of married life.
Madame Bail. For the men!
Lamblin. For every one. Is not the hearth a refuge, a sacred spot, where both man and woman find sweet rest after a day's work? Deny it, Mother. Here we are, the three of us, each doing what he likes to do, in our comfortable little home, talking together happily. The mind is at rest, and the heart quiet. Six years of family life have brought us security in our affection, and rendered us kind and indulgent toward one another. It is ineffably sweet, and brings tears to the eyes. [He starts to take a sip of cognac.]
Marthe [preventing him]. Especially when one is a little—lit up!
Madame Bail. Marthe, that's not at all nice of you!
Lamblin [to Madame Bail]. Ah, you're the only one who understands me, Mother! Now, little one, you're going to give me a cigar, one of those on the table.
Marthe [giving him a cigar]. Lazy! He can't even stretch his arm out!
Lamblin. You see, I prefer to have my little wife serve me and be nice to me.
Madame Bail [looking at them both]. Shall I go?
Lamblin. Why should you?
Madame Bail. Well—because—
Lamblin [understanding]. Oh! No, no, stay with us and tell us stories. The little one is moody and severe, I don't dare risk putting my arm around her. Her religion forbids her—expanding!
Madame Bail. Then you don't think I'll be in the way?
Lamblin. You, Mother! I tell you, the day I took it into my head to bring you here to live with us, I was an extremely clever man. It's most convenient to have you here. Men of business like me haven't the time to spend all their leisure moments with their wives. Very often, after a day's work at the office, I'm not at liberty to spend the evening at home: I must return to the office, you know.
Marthe. As you did yesterday!
Lamblin. As I did yesterday. And when I take it into my head to stroll along the boulevard—
Madame Bail. Or elsewhere!
Lamblin. You insist on your little joke, Mother. If, I say, I take it into my head to go out, there's the little one all alone. You came here to live with us, and now my conscious is easy: I leave my little wife in good hands. I need not worry. There were a thousand liberties I never indulged in before you came. Now I take them without the slightest scruple.
Madame Bail. How kind of you!
Lamblin. Don't you think so, little one?
Marthe. I believe that Mamma did exactly the right thing.
Lamblin. You see, I want people to be happy. It is not enough that I should be: every one must be who is about me. I can't abide selfish people.
Madame Bail. You're right!
Lamblin. And it's so easy not to be! [A pause.] There is only one thing worrying me now: I brought a whole package of papers with me from the office, which I must sign.
Marthe. How is business now?
Lamblin. Not very good.
Marthe. Did M. Pacot reimburse you?
Madame Bail. Yes, did he?
Lamblin. It's been pretty hard these past three days, but I am reimbursed, and that's all I ask. Now I'm going to sign my papers. It won't take me more than a quarter of an hour. I'll find you here when I come back, shan't I? [To Marthe.] And the little one will leave me my cognac, eh? See you soon.
Madame Bail. Yes, see you soon.
Lamblin [to Marthe]. You'll let me have my cognac?
Marthe. No! It's ridiculous! It'll make you ill. [Lamblin goes out.]
Madame Bail. There's a good boy!
Marthe. You always stand up for him. The world is full of "good boys" of his sort. "Good boys"! They're all selfish!
Madame Bail. Don't get so excited!
Marthe. I'm not in the least excited. I'm as calm now as I was excited a year ago when I learned of Alfred's affair.
Madame Bail. I understand.
Marthe. No, you don't understand.
Madame Bail. You didn't behave at all reasonably, as you ought to have done long since. You still have absurd romantic ideas. You're not at all reasonable.
Marthe [very much put out]. Well, if I still have those absurd ideas, if I rebel at times, if, as you say, I'm unreasonable, whom does it harm but me alone? What do you expect? The bare idea of sharing him is repulsive to me. Think of it a moment—how perfectly abominable it all is! Why, we are practically accomplices! I thought we were going to discuss it with him just now! It will happen, I know!
