trencher,
I envy not your state, nor yet your great favour,
Then grudge not at all, if in my behaviour
I make the king merry with pleasant urbanity,
Whom I never abused to any man’s injury.
Carisophus. By Cock, sir, yet in the court you do[19] best thrive,
For you get more in one day than I do in five.
Aristippus. Why, man, in the court do you not see
Rewards given for virtue to every degree?
To reward the unworthy—that world is done:
The court is changed, a good thread hath been spun
Of dog’s wool heretofore, and why because it was liked,
And not for that it was best trimmed and picked:
But now men’s ears are finer, such gross toys are not set by,
Therefore to a trimmer kind of mirth myself I apply:
Wherein though I please, it cometh not of my desert,
But of the king’s favour.
Carisophus. It may so be; yet in your prosperity
Despise not an old courtier: Carisophus is he,
Which hath long time fed Dionysius’ humour:
Diligently to please still at hand: there was never rumour
Spread in this[20] town of any small thing, but I
Brought it to the king in post by and by.
Yet now I crave your friendship, which if I may attain,
Most sure and unfeigned friendship I promise you again:
So we two link’d in friendship, brother and brother,
Full well in the court may help one another.
Aristippus. By’r Lady, Carisophus, though you know not philosophy,
Yet surely you are a better courtier than I:
And yet I not so evil a courtier, that will seem to despise
Such an old courtier as you, so expert and so wise.
But where as you crave mine, and offer your friendship so willingly,
With heart I give you thanks for this your great courtesy:
Assuring of friendship both with tooth and nail,
Whiles life lasteth, never to fail.
Carisophus. A thousand thanks I give you, O friend Aristippus.
Aristippus. O friend Carisophus.
Carisophus. How joyful am I, sith I have to friend Aristippus now?
Aristippus. None so glad of Carisophus’ friendship as I, I make God a vow,
I speak as I think, believe me.
Carisophus. Sith we are now so friendly joined, it seemeth to me,
That one of us help each other in every degree:
Prefer you my cause, when you are in presence,
To further your matters to the king let me alone in your absence.
Aristippus. Friend Carisophus, this shall be done as you would wish:
But I pray you tell me thus much by the way,
Whither now from this place will you take your journey?
Carisophus. I will not dissemble, that were against friendship,
I go into the city some knaves to nip
For talk, with their goods to increase the king’s treasure,
In such kind of service I set my chief pleasure:
Farewell, friend[21] Aristippus, now for a time.
[Exit.
Aristippus. Adieu, friend Carisophus—In good faith now,
Of force I must laugh at this solemn vow.
Is Aristippus link’d in friendship with Carisophus?
Quid cum tanto asino talis philosophus?
They say, Morum similitudo consuit[22] amicitias;
Then how can this friendship between us two come to pass?
We are as like in condition as Jack Fletcher and his bolt;[23]
I brought up in learning, but he is a very dolt
As touching good letters; but otherwise such a crafty knave,
If you seek a whole region, his like you cannot have:
A villain for his life, a varlet dyed in grain,
You lose money by him, if you sell him for one knave,[24] for he serves for twain:
A flattering parasite, a sycophant also,
A common accuser of men, to the good an open foe.
Of half a word he can make a legend of lies,
Which he will avouch with such tragical cries,
As though all were true that comes out of his mouth.
Whereas indeed, to be hanged by and by,[25]
He cannot tell one tale, but twice he must lie.
He spareth no man’s life to get the king’s favour,
In which kind of service he hath got such a savour,[26]
That he will never leave. Methink then that I
Have done very wisely to join in friendship with him, lest perhaps I
Coming in his way might be nipp’d; for such knaves in presence
We see oft times put honest men to silence:
Yet I have played with his beard in knitting this knot,
I promis’d friendship; but, you love few words—I spake it, but I meant it not.[27]
Who
