when you stayed away.
Miss C.
Doubtless! Theatricals in our quiet town!
I’ve always said, “The law should put them down,”
They mean no harm, tho’ I begin to doubt it— But now sit down and tell me all about it.
Miss V.
Well then, Miss Crabb, I won’t deceive you, dear; I heard some things I—didn’t like to hear:
Miss C.
But don’t omit them now.
Miss V.
Well! No! I’ll try
To tell you all the painful history.
(They whisper alternately behind a small fan.)
Miss V.
And then, my dear, Miss Asterisk and he Pretended they were lovers!!
Miss C.
Gracious me!!
(More whispering behind fan.)
Speaker.
What! Acting love!! And has that ne’er been seen Save with a row of footlights placed between?
My gentle censors, let me roundly ask, Do none but actors ever wear a mask?
Or have we reached at last that golden age That finds deception only on the Stage?
Come, let’s confess all round before we budge, When all are guilty, none should play the Judge.
We’re actors all, a motley company,
Some on the Stage, and others—on the sly— And guiltiest he who paints so well his phiz His brother actors scarce know what he is.
A truce to moralizing; we invite
The goodly company we see to-night
To have the little banquet we have got, Well dressed, we hope, and served up hot & hot.
“Loan of a Lover” is the leading dish, Concluding with a dainty course of fish; “Whitebait at Greenwich” in the best condition (By Mr. Gladstone’s very kind permission).
Before the courses will be handed round An Entrée made of Children, nicely browned.
Bell rings.
But hark! The bell to summon me away; They’re anxious to begin their little Play.
One word before I go—We’ll do our best, And crave your kind indulgence for the rest; Own that at least we’ve striven to succeed, And take the good intention for the deed.
Nov. 1871.
Prologue 3
Enter Beatrice, leading Wilfred. She leaves him at centre (front), and after going round on tip-toe, to make sure they are not overheard, returns and takes his arm.
B.
“Wiffie! I’m sure that something is the matter, All day there’s been—oh, such a fuss and clatter!
Mamma’s been trying on a funny dress— I never saw the house in such a mess! (puts her arm round his neck) Is there a secret, Wiffie?”
W. (shaking her off)
“Yes, of course!”
B.
“And you won’t tell it? (whimpers) Then you’re very cross! (turns away from him and clasps her hands, looking up ecstatically) I’m sure of this! It’s something quite uncommon!”
W. (stretching up his arms, with a mock-heroic air) “Oh, Curiosity! Thy name is Woman! (puts his arm round her coaxingly) Well, Birdie, then I’ll tell! (mysteriously) What should you say If they were going to act—a little play?”
B. (jumping and clapping her hands) “I’d say ‘HOW NICE!’”
W. (pointing to audience) “But will it please the rest?”
B.
“Oh yes! Because, you know, they’ll do their best! (turns to audience) You’ll praise them, won’t you, when you’ve seen the play?
Just say ‘HOW NICE!’ before you go away!”
(They run away hand in hand.)
Feb. 14, 1873.
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