and looked at the sea, which was smooth and calm. While I continued here, these thoughts came into my mind.
In what manner is the production of the earth and sea, of which I have seen so much? From whence came myself, and all other creatures living, and of what are they made?
Our beings were assuredly created by some almighty invisible Power, who framed the earth the sea, and air, and all therein. But what is that Power?
Certainly it must follow that God has created it all. Yet, said I, if God has made all this he must be the Ruler of them all, and what is relating thereto; for certainly the Power that makes, must indisputably have a power to guide and direct them. And if this be so, (as certainly it must) nothing can happen without his knowledge and appointment. Then, surely, if nothing happens without God's appointment, certainly God has appointed these my sufferings to befal me. And here I fixed my firm belief that it was his will that it should be so; and then proceeded to enquire, why should God deal with me in this manner? Or what have I done thus to deserve his indignation.
Here conscience flew in my face, reprehending me as a blasphemer; crying with a loud and piercing voice, Unworthy wretch! how dare you ask what you have done? Look on your past life, and see what you have left undone? Ask thyself, why thou wert not long ago in the merciless hands of death? Why not drowned in Yarmouth roads, or killed in the fight, when the ship was taken by the Sallee man of war? Why not entombed in the bowels of wild beasts on the African coast, or drowned here when all thy companions suffered shipwreck in the ocean.
Struck dumb with these reflections, I rose up in a pensive manner, being so thoughtful that I could not go to sleep; and fearing the dreadful return of my distemper, it caused me to remember, that the Brazilians use tobacco for almost all diseases. I then went to my chest in older to find some, where Heaven, no doubt, directed me to find a cure for both soul and body; for there I found one of the Bibles, which, till this time, I had neither leisure nor inclination to look into, I took both the tobacco and that out of the chest, and laid them on the table. Several experiments did I try with the tobacco: First, I took a piece or leaf, and chewed it; but it being very green and strong, almost stupified me. Next I steeped it in some rum an hour or two, resolving when I went to bed to take a dole of it: and, in the third place, I burnt some over a pan of fire, holding my nose over it as long as I could endure it without suffocation.
In the intervals of this operation, though my head was giddy and disturbed by the tobacco, I took up the Bible to read. No sooner did I open it, but there appeared to me these words Call on me in the day of trouble, and I will deliver thee, and thou shall glorify me.
At first this sentence made a very deep impression on my heart, but it soon wore off again, when I considered the word deliver was foreign to me. And as the children of Israel said, when they were promised flesh to eat, Can God spread a table in the wilderness? in like manner I began to say, Can God himself deliver me from this desolate island? However, the words would still return to my mind, and afterwards made a greater impression upon me. As it was now very late, and the tobacco had dazed my head, I was inclined to sleep: but before I would lie down I fell on my knees, and implored the promise that God had made to me in the Holy Scriptures, that if I called upon him in the day of trouble he would deliver me. With much difficulty I afterwards drank the rum wherein I had steeped the tobacco, which flying into my head, threw me into such a profound sleep, that it was three o'clock the next day before I awaked; or rather, I believe, I slept two days, having certainly lost a day in my account, and I could never tell any other way. When I got up, my spirits were lively and cheerful; my stomach much better, being very hungry; and, in short, no fit returned the next day, which was the 29th, but I found myself much altered for the better.
The 30th, I went abroad with my gun, but not far, and killed a sea-fowl or two, resembling a brand goose, which, however, I cared not to eat when I brought them home, but dined on two more of the turtle's eggs. In the evening I renewed my medicine, excepting that I did not take so large a quantity, neither did I chew the leaf, or hold my head over the smoke: but the next day, which was the 1st of July, having a little return of the cold fit, I again took my medicine as I did the first time.
July 3. The fit quite left me, but very weak. In this condition, I often thought of these words, I will deliver thee; and while, at some times, I would think of the impossibility of it, other thoughts would reprehend me for disregarding the deliverances I had received, even from the most forlorn and distressed condition. I asked myself, what regard have I had to God for his abundant mercies? Have I done my part: He has delivered me, but I have not glorified him:-as if I had said, I had not owned and been thankful for these as deliverances, and how could I expect greater? So much did this sensibly touch my heart, that I gave God thanks for my recovery from weakness in the most humble prostration.
July 4. This morning I began seriously to ponder on what is written in the New Testament, resolving to read a chapter every morning and night as long an my thoughts would engage me. As soon as I set about this work seriously, I found my heart deeply affected with the impiety of my past life; these words that I thought were spoken to me in my dream revived, All these things have not brought thee to repentance. After this, I begged of God to assist me with his Holy Spirit in returning to my duty. One day in perusing the Scriptures, I came to these words, He is exalted a Prince and a Saviour, to give repentance and to give remission: Immediately I laid down the book, and with uplifted hands to Heaven, loudly cried, O blessed Jesus, thou son of David, Jesus, thou exalted Prince and Saviour, give we repentance! And now indeed I prayed with a true sense of my condition, and a more certain hope, founded on the word of God. Now I had a different sense of these words, Call on me and I will deliver thee, that is from the dreadful load of guilt which oppressed my sinful soul, and not from a solitary life, which might rather be called, a blessing, seeing I wanted neither food nor raiment, when compared living amongst the human race, surrounded with so much oppression, misery, and affliction; in a word, I came to this conclusion, that a deliverance from sin was a much greater blessing, than a deliverance from affliction. But again I proceed to my journal.
To the 14th of July, I walked about with my gun, little and little at a time, having been reduced to the greatest extremity of weakness. The applications and experiments I used were perfectly new: neither could I recommend them to any one's practice. For though it carried off the fit, it very much weakened me, and I had frequently convulsions in my nerves and limbs for some time. From this I learned, that going abroad in rainy weather, especially when it was attended with storms and hurricanes of wind, was most pernicious to health. I had now been about ten months in the island; and as I never had seen any of the human kind, I therefore accounted myself as sole monarch; and as I grew better, having secured my habitation to my mind, I resolved to make a tour round my kingdom, in order to make new discoveries.
The 15th of July, I began my journey; I first went to the creek, where I had brought my rafts on shore; and travelling farther, found the tide went no higher than two miles up, where there was a little brook of running water, on the banks of which were many pleasant savannahs or meadows, plain, smooth, and covered with grass. On the rising parts, where I supposed the water did not reach, I perceived a great deal of tobacco growing to a very strong stalk. Several other plants I likewise found, the virtues of which I did not understand. I searched a long time for the Cassava root, which I knew the Indians in that climate made their bread of, but all in vain. There were several plants of aloes, though at that time I knew not what they were; likewise I saw several sugar canes, but imperfect for want of cultivation. With these few discoveries, I came back that night, and slept contentedly in my little castle.
The next day, being the 16th, going the same way, but farther then the day before, I found the country more adorned with woods and trees. Here I perceived different fruits in great abundance. Melons in plenty lay on the ground, and clusters of grapes, ripe and very rich, spread over the trees. You may imagine I was glad of this discovery, yet ate very sparingly, lest I should throw myself into a flux or fever. The grapes I found of excellent use; for when I had dried them in the sun, which preserved
