style="font-size:15px;"> Next day, as they were passing before the little garden of the captain, they saw, chatting with him, Girbal, Coulon, the keeper, and his younger son, Zephyrin, dressed as an altar-boy. His robe was quite new, and he was walking below before returning to the sacristy, and they were complimenting him.
Curious to know what they thought of him, Placquevent asked “these gentlemen” to feel his young man’s head.
The skin of his forehead looked tightly drawn; his nose, thin and very gristly at the tip, drooped slantwise over his pinched lips; his chin was pointed, his expression evasive, and his right shoulder was too high.
“Take off your cap,” said his father to him.
Bouvard slipped his hands through his straw-coloured hair; then it was Pécuchet’s turn, and they communicated to each other their observations in low tones:
“Evident love of books! Ha! ha! approbativeness! Conscientiousness wanting! No amativeness!”
“Well?” said the keeper.
Pécuchet opened his snuff-box, and took a pinch.
“Faith!” replied Bouvard, “this is scarcely a genius.”
Placquevent reddened with humiliation.
“All the same, he will do my bidding.”
“Oho! Oho!”
“But I am his father, by God! and I have certainly the right – ”
“Within certain limits,” observed Pécuchet.
Girbal interposed. “The paternal authority is indispensable.”
“But if the father is an idiot?”
“No matter,” said the captain; “his power is none the less absolute.”
“In the interests of the children,” added Coulon.
According to Bouvard and Pécuchet, they owed nothing to the authors of their being; and the parents, on the other hand, owed them food, education, forethought – in fact, everything.
Their good neighbours protested against this opinion as immoral. Placquevent was hurt by it as if it were an insult.
“For all that, they are a nice lot that you collect on the high-roads. They will go far. Take care!”
“Care of what?” said Pécuchet sourly.
“Oh! I am not afraid of you.”
“Nor I of you either.”
Coulon here used his influence to restrain the keeper and induce him to go away quietly.
For some minutes there was silence. Then there was some talk about the dahlias of the captain, who would not let his friends depart till he had exhibited every one of them.
Bouvard and Pécuchet were returning homeward when, a hundred paces in front of them, they noticed Placquevent; and close beside him Zephyrin was lifting up his elbow, like a shield, to save his ear from being boxed.
What they had just heard expressed, in another form, were the opinions of the count; but the example of their pupils proved how much liberty had the advantage over coercion. However, a little discipline was desirable.
Pécuchet nailed up a blackboard in the museum for the purpose of demonstrations. They each resolved to keep a journal wherein the things done by the pupil, noted down every evening, could be read next morning, and, to regulate the work by ringing the bell when it should be finished. Like Dupont de Nemours, they would, at first, make use of the paternal injunction, then of the military injunction, and familiarity in addressing them would be forbidden.
Bouvard tried to teach Victorine ciphering. Sometimes he would make mistakes, and both of them would laugh. Then she would kiss him on the part of his neck which was smoothest and ask leave to go, and he would give his permission.
Pécuchet at the hour for lessons in vain rang the bell and shouted out the military injunction through the window. The brat did not come. His socks were always hanging over his ankles; even at table he thrust his fingers into his nostrils, and did not even keep in his wind. Broussais objects to reprimands on this point on the ground that “it is necessary to obey the promptings of a conservative instinct.”
Victorine and he made use of frightful language, saying, mé itou instead of moi aussi, bère instead of boire, al instead of elle, and deventiau with the iau; but, as grammar cannot be understood by children, and as they would learn the use of language by hearing others speak correctly, the two worthy men watched their own words till they found it quite distressing.
They held different views about the way to teach geography. Bouvard thought it more logical to begin with the commune, Pécuchet with the entire world.
With a watering-pot and some sand he sought to demonstrate what was meant by a river, an island, a gulf, and even sacrificed three flower-beds to explain three continents; but the cardinal points could not be got into Victor’s head.
On a night in January Pécuchet carried him off in the open country. While they walked along he held forth on astronomy: mariners find it useful on their voyages; without it Christopher Columbus would not have made his discovery. We owe a debt of gratitude to Copernicus, to Galileo, and to Newton.
It was freezing hard, and in the dark blue sky countless stars were scintillating. Pécuchet raised his eyes.
“What! No Ursa Major!”
The last time he had seen it, it was turned to the other side. At length he recognised it, then pointed out the polar star, which is always turned towards the north, and by means of which travellers can find out their exact situation.
Next day he placed an armchair in the middle of the room and began to waltz round it.
“Imagine that this armchair is the sun and that I am the earth; it moves like this.”
Victor stared at him, filled with astonishment.
After this he took an orange, passed through it a piece of stick to indicate the poles, then drew a circle across it with charcoal to mark the equator. He next moved the orange round a wax candle, drawing attention to the fact that the various points on the surface were not illuminated at the same time – which causes the difference of climates; and for that of the seasons he sloped the orange, inasmuch as the earth does not stand up straight – which brings about the equinoxes and the solstices.
Victor did not understand a bit of it. He believed that the earth turns around in a long needle, and that the equator is a ring pressing its circumference.
By means of an atlas Pécuchet exhibited Europe to him; but, dazzled by so many lines and colours, he could no longer distinguish the names of different places. The bays and the mountains did not harmonise with the respective nations; the political order confused the physical order. All this, perhaps, might be cleared up by studying history.
It would have been more practical to begin with the village, and go on next to the arrondissement, the department, and the province; but, as Chavignolles had no annals, it was absolutely necessary to stick to universal history. It was rendered embarrassing by such a variety of details that
