intrusion of his lips and hint of tongue before it‘s withdrawn again.
‘Uh, hi.’ I blink. Did that … Is that … Okay, my brain has frozen, speech and thought resolutely refusing to obey me.
‘Where did you get to the other night? Come, come.’ He neither waits for, nor seems to expect, an answer but takes me by the hand and leads me away from an open-mouthed Rebecca. His hand is rough and large compared to mine. The contact is startling but by no means unwelcome.
It doesn‘t occur to me to refuse. Why doesn‘t it occur to me to refuse?
He draws me into a quiet alcove and pulls me down next to him on a small brown-leather sofa. The sofa is covered with the softest faux-mink throw I‘ve ever touched, it‘s so silky beneath my fingers. There‘s not much room, so I‘m pressed up against him, my thigh making contact with his. I‘m achingly aware of his close proximity and the corresponding flare into life of desire, deep inside me. It‘s like he‘s dropped a match onto a pile of dry kindling.
I‘ve never felt a desire this compelling before. Going without sex honestly hasn‘t bothered me that much, but then I‘ve never met anyone like Seb before.
Sebastien rests his hand on my thigh and leans in. I think he‘s going to kiss me but his lips don‘t make contact with my skin. I realise, with a jolt, that I really want them to. Boy, do I want them to. I am so confused. God help me.
‘Have you been thinking about me?’ He whispers. ‘Because I‘ve been thinking about you. Do you know what I‘ve been thinking?’
He trails his hand up and down my thigh, rhythmically stroking my leg. It‘s surprisingly arousing.
‘Uh, no.’ My breath catches in my chest as desire floods me, an overwhelming breach of my defences. I‘m unfurling, coming undone beneath his fingers. Every reason I ever had for waiting is disintegrating and being washed away along with my resolve.
‘I‘ve been thinking about all the things I‘d like to do to you.’ His lips brush my ear and hot breath tickles my skin as he whispers. ‘Very wicked things that will bring us both a great deal of pleasure.’
I inhale sharply, startled by the jolt of sexual electricity coursing through me. I never knew … I didn‘t think … Oh my …
His hand trails higher up my thigh and then gently squeezes my hip bone. A gentle moan escapes my lips and heat sears my cheeks. At the back of my mind I wonder if anyone is watching us but I‘m too far gone to check.
Seb‘s breath catches and the amused desire twinkling in his dark eyes morphs into something deeper, more intense, as though he too is losing control.
Finally his lips brush my neck, my collarbone and the skin exposed at the neckline of my top. My nipples harden, sensitive against my cotton bra. This is fast, far too fast. Yet my body is crying out that this isn‘t fast enough. I want him! Oh, God do I want him.
His lips are now on mine and I forget everything as his tongue explores my mouth, tasting and teasing, thrusting against my tongue in a promise of what else he could do to me. There‘s a buzz between my legs, sharp, intense need flaring into life, spreading through my body like wild fire.
My body‘s capitulation is so quick it scares me. It‘s too fast. I need to find the brake or pull the emergency cord to stop this. I pull back reluctantly.
‘What‘s wrong?’ Sebastien eyes me quizzically, continuing to languidly stroke my hip and making all the little hairs on my arms stand erect.
‘Erm, well, we don‘t know each other. This isn‘t what I do. It‘s …’ I run out of words. I don‘t know what it is. The throbbing need inside me makes it impossible to concentrate on what I’m saying.
‘You don‘t like it? Shall I stop?’ he asks immediately.
‘No, I mean yes. I mean I like it. I don‘t want you to stop exactly, just …’ I break off, flustered and afraid I‘ll push him away.
‘Sorry if I‘m going too fast. You‘re utterly irresistible. My fault.’ He pulls a funny face. ‘Shall we do things the English way? We can be stiff and awkward and pretend to ignore our attraction for each other.’
I narrow my eyes. ‘I’m actually Scottish, not English.’
‘Ah I see. There’s a difference?’
I almost launch into the kind of well-practised diatribe I have to use on idiots, but see Seb’s lips twitching.
‘You’re mocking me.’
‘Not at all.’ He grins, a hint of laughter lines around his eyes. It’s a face used to smiles and laughter. ‘I just want to make you comfortable.’
‘Thanks. You’re right. It’s all a bit fast for me.’ I tense, hoping he’ll understand and not lose interest.
Seb takes my hand and cups it in his. ‘No worries. I’m far too used to getting my own way. It will be good for me to wait. But there’s nothing to be afraid of. Attraction is an amazing thing, it would be wrong to fight it.’
‘Would it?’ I can’t help but smile. He looks so sincere at the utter wrongness of ignoring sexual attraction, but I sense an undercurrent of mockery, not of me but of himself.
A man who can laugh at himself. Hmm, I’m totally done for.
‘Are you sure you wouldn’t like me to leave?’ Seb examines me closely.
‘I definitely don’t want you to leave. I just need to go, you know, slower.’ I will him to understand.
Seb shrugs. ‘Really, it’s not a problem. We go slow. Slow can be good too. Can I kiss you?’
I nod and part my lips as his mouth meets mine. I could do this all night. My lips are tingling where they meet his. I once read that the skin on our lips is the most sensitive of anywhere on our body. Now I can quite believe it.
I’m falling deeper and deeper, taken up by desire and Seb’s muscular body pressed hard against mine. His scent intoxicates me, so clean and manly, so enticing I want to press myself even harder into him. I’ve moved little by little and so has he. We’re as close as we can be without me actually climbing onto his lap.
A very enticing proposition. Doubt presses in at the corner of my mind. Why on earth did I say I wanted to go slow? Right now my body would be happy to move at the speed of light, all my senses tingling. Feeling vibrantly alive.
My mind is flooded with images of what Seb could do to me, if I let him. Am I nuts to be holding back? I doubt many women say ‘no’ to him. I have a lifetime of experience of not crossing the line, but this is by far the hardest test I’ve ever faced.
When Seb stops kissing me and pulls away it’s hard to ignore the unfulfilled ache between my legs.
‘Shall we go for a walk?’ Seb’s eyes are dark and his breathing hard.
Maybe pulling back is hard for him too. That’s flattering. As we stand up I remind myself of all the reasons why I have to control myself. I can’t lose my virginity to a one-night stand, however enticing the proposition. And it is enticing. I might not have held out so long
