of endless amusement and broken ornaments.
This game is best played with small teams of three or four players (but it does depend on how big your house is). Simply re-arrange some room furnishings (cushions, chairs, etc.) to provide the bases, then replace the baseball bat with a kitchen spatula (either wood or metal) and instead of a baseball use a Ping-Pong ball. This gives the pitcher the opportunity to wind up their throwing arm and pitch the ball as hard as they want without fear of injury. Any damage to the room is not from bat and ball action, but rather the dashes to reach bases and the scrambles for the ball of the fielding team.
Bucket Ball
Bucket Ball has a similar feel to Hanetball (see page 180), in the sense that the player actually stands within the goal but it is much weirder, more fun and…uses buckets.
For two competing players, at the start of the game each player stands facing the other, a few yards apart. Both have placed their feet into plastic buckets, one on each foot. If children are playing a standard bucket is usually perfect; for adult players you may need to search a garden centre for larger specimens.
Players hold in their hands an equal number of small balls. The aim of the game is to throw as many balls as possible into either of your opponents’ buckets, whilst avoiding getting too many in your own. Players are allowed to move about, so the game soon develops into tense stand-offs, daring bucket-footed attacks, and desperately clumsy leg movements to avoid incoming balls landing in one of your own buckets. Any player falling over loses, and once all the balls have been thrown the bucket-balls should be added up to determine the winner.
Elbow Racing
Unless you have access to knee and elbow protectors, the old Inuit game of Elbow Racing (Ikusimmiaq) is probably best played inside on a thick carpet.
To play, simply crouch down on your knees, place both elbows on the floor and both hands over your ears. Now, maintaining this position—race. You can not remove your hands from your ears and you must propel yourself forwards using only your knees and elbows.
The fastest person over the course, or, more usually, the person who can stop laughing the longest, wins.
Faceball
Every so often the human brain surpasses itself with its ingenuity and invents a game so sublime that Olympic status can surely only be months away. Faceball is one such game.
Created by the staff at Flickr.com, the game of Faceball is like a stationary version of dodgeball, but much more fun.
For two players; each sits on an office chair ten feet from the other. Players then take it in turns to throw a beach-ball-type ball at their opponent’s face. If they manage a successful strike they gain a point, retrieve the ball and throw again. If they miss, it’s their opponent’s turn. Target players may not move to avoid the ball but must remain still whilst the other throws. Points accumulate with each strike over a set number of rounds.
An alternative version of Faceball exists which is more of a cross between Faceball and Wallhooky (see page 44). Simply get a soft ball and attach some string to it, a little like the string and ball part of a Swingball set, and fix it to the ceiling. The height should be adjusted so that when the string is at about 60 degrees to the vertical the ball will be at the competitors face height. Two players now stand either side of the dangling ball and set it swinging in a circular motion. They then take it in turns to flap at the ball with their hand, when it is closest to them, so that if they make contact it swings and strikes their opponent in the face. Simple. The most scores, out of ten attempts, wins.
House Gymnastics
Many children attempt the task of climbing up the inside of a door frame by placing one foot on either side at the base and gradually shuffling up until they reach the top. House Gymnastics starts with this basic idea and goes further. Much further.
House Gymnastics was created and developed by two men taking the names Harrison and Ford. The legend has it that they came up with the idea after a thwarted attempt to put up a window blind. An hour or two of sweating and swearing in a
cramped space, drilling holes whilst deciphering instructions, and a legendary strange game is born. In its purest form House Gymnastics is that perfect combination of yoga, gymnastics and art.
Harrison and Ford have developed a wonderful array of positions that can be achieved throughout the house using only the human body and the house fittings and fixtures. The previously mentioned ‘door wedge’ is present and correct, as is ‘the banister snake’, which involves bracing yourself horizontally along an upstairs banister rail, and ‘the ceiling stand’, a handstand on the banister with the feet braced against the ceiling. All manner of squeezing, bracing and balancing of the human form within a house can be seen on their website (see Internet Resources) and they have been given great names such as the Elevated Carpet Crab, the One-handed Starfish and the Backdoor Bat Hang, with each position given a difficulty rating.
The ultimate indoor gymnastics position is known as the XXX (after the Vin Diesel film). To do it you need two adjacent walls that are the same distance apart as your own height when your arms are held above your head. A corridor is often an ideal location. Next, you need to climb slowly with your feet on one wall and your hands against the other, so that you end up perfectly horizontal, outstretched, spanning the corridor but with your back as near the ceiling as possible.
The positions should be held for at least three seconds, but obviously you gain more kudos if you can remain wedged on the top shelf of a bookcase for longer. Moves and positions can also be taken out of the confines of the house and have been performed in the office, sports stadia and the great outdoors.
Indoor Games with Biscuits
Malteser Blow Football is the perfect game for football-fixated chocoholics.
Make two teams of two players each. One player from each team makes the goal by kneeling down on opposite sides of a small table so that their bottom lips are at table level; they now open their mouths as wide as possible. Their teammates stand on the other side and compete, using straws to blow a Malteser into their goal while defending the other.
Biscuit Dunking is a subject that causes much debate amongst biscuit connoisseurs; such as whether a biscuit should be dunked in a cup of tea and, if it should, which varieties are able to withstand the process best without disintegrating.
There is no authoritative biscuit-dunking body; to hold your own competition you just need each player to pick their biscuit of choice and stand by a steaming hot cup of tea. All players now simultaneously repeatedly dunk, making sure at least half of the biscuit is submerged each time. The last biscuit to show any damage wins. The radio station XFM held a World Championship Biscuit Dunking Competition in September 2007 over a three-week period. The biscuits making the final were the Caramel Wafer, Fig Roll, Digestive Caramel and the winner, the hardy Pink Wafer.
Biscuit Bobbing is a party game that is less healthy than its apple-based cousin but just as much fun and, if anything, more difficult. Place some biscuits (digestives work well) flat down on a table and then players must try to eat a whole biscuit in the fastest time without using their hands in any way. The difficulty lies in getting hold of the biscuit in the first place—a feat usually achieved by lifting it with
