list is often a lack of available time. So, each day, if you find your ‘to do’ list is longer than five items long, trim it so that you have no more than four tasks outside of work that need to be completed that day. Once you have your four, switch one of them so it is a ‘to do’ task for you! Build in self-care. Do unto yourself as you would do unto others. Also have a look back at action point 4 in step five. Learning to press the pause button works hand in hand with this action point.
THE LOGIC
Altering your ‘to do’ list in this way enables you to put into action the thoughts that accompany the notion of prioritizing and valuing yourself. The previous action points may have helped you realize that you are not addressing your own needs. Acknowledging this is the first step, but trimming and switching your daily tasks gives you the opportunity to do something about it and build in some time for you. Make it a habit.
ACTION POINT 4: STICK UP FOR YOURSELF
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
Learning to stick up for yourself is an important pedestal-climbing skill. Contrary to what many people believe, this doesn’t mean you have to become aggressive or confrontational; instead, a good way to start is by expressing yourself constructively. Use ‘I’ statements instead of focusing on the other person’s failings. For example, instead of ‘You’re so critical’, try ‘I feel criticized’ – you’ll make your point without putting the other person on the defensive. If the person still explodes and makes you feel unworthy, avoid caving in and backing down; instead tell them you’ll talk when they are ready, then go for a walk, call a friend or pick up a good book. Stand by your feelings, even if it takes some time for them to come round. While talking openly may cost you false relationships it will deepen your genuine ones.
THE LOGIC
If you are low down on your priority list others may start to view you as being less important too. People perceive what you project and will project that back at you – so value yourself, your opinions and your needs and then others will, too.
ACTION POINT 5: LEARN TO SAY NO
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
It’s as simple as it sounds – learn to say no. Practise in front of the mirror; get used to the sound of the word in your mouth. ‘No’ is a word women don’t say often enough – taking on more and more tasks and responsibilities simply because they are asked or expected to. Start by saying no to small things that you don’t want to do, or don’t realistically have time for, and then build up to more important matters.
THE LOGIC
Ever heard the phrase ‘if you want a job done, ask a busy person’? The idea is that the busy person won’t turn you down, no matter how many other things they have on their plate. Don’t become that busy person that others see as a place to deposit all the stuff they need to get done. Whether it’s your boss, your husband, the kids, the in-laws or your mother, learn to say ‘no’ firmly but nicely and free yourself from chores and commitments that leave you with no space for your own needs and desires.
THE BOTTOM LINE
You don’t have to be top of your priority list; it’s about balance and developing a symbiotic relationship with yourself, your actions, your family and friends. Once you are standing on your pedestal, you are ready for step seven.
Case study
Making time for yourself is easier said than done. I have found that for many of the highly successful professional women and celebrities I see, taking that time out can be just as hard as it is for the rest of us. One particular client, who was on a board of directors, found that the only way she was able to take time out was by booking herself a weekly facial. As luxurious as this sounds, she explained to me that this was the only time when her mobile phone was turned off and she could pay some much-needed time and attention to herself.
Finding and making time for yourself can take many forms. One of my favourite strategies, especially when I am writing my books, is to factor in a duck session! What’s a duck session? There’s a route near my home that takes me past a duck pond, so as part of my walk I always pack a small bag of stale bread to feed the ducks. I find this simple act very therapeutic and grounding, as it takes me back to the simple pleasures of life. Even if I’m only there for five minutes, I feel so much better. So, whatever does it for you, do try to find that buffer, that small snippet of time when you do something just for you.
Look along the rows of women’s magazines and there will inevitably be numerous articles on sex and at least one that revolves around sexual satisfaction and finding your G spot. Finding your G spot heightens your enjoyment of sex and, naturally, once you enjoy something you start to want more. Finding your G spot is therefore a great motivation for sex.
If you want to drop a size for life you need to find your G spot for weight loss. What is your long-term motivation to keep your weight down? For many, finding their true G spot for weight loss, as in sex, can be difficult. Many of us can fake it and convince ourselves we’ve found it, giving the equivalent of the Oscar-winning When Harry met Sally performance – but we can’t keep up the performance forever! Our weight loss G spot can be elusive, but tapping into it is essential if you want to keep that weight off for life.
Weight loss G spots can be big or small. A small G spot may be to lose weight for a summer holiday, a special occasion or maybe your wedding day. Small G spots are short term. If you want to stay at a smaller size for life, you have to find your big G spot.
TYPICAL SMALL G SPOTS
I want to drop a size to …
wear that string bikini this summer holiday
look fantastic in a little black dress for the office party
see my friends again at the school reunion
lose the 5 pounds I gained over Christmas
find myself a partner
look better than the new girlfriend/boyfriend I was dumped for
TYPICAL BIG G SPOTS
I want to drop a size …
to enjoy better health and energy levels
to be around to enjoy my children
for health reasons – one parent died through heart disease/diabetes/stroke, all of which are associated with carrying excess weight
to
