quite so heavy next time I bring it up. I’ll carry it with a lighter heart, on condition you give me a laugh a day.’
‘Call it a giggle-a-day,’ I said, ‘and you’ve got yourself a deal.’
JULIE FISHER
Founder
Child Of Achievement™ Awards
Monday’s jokes are about ghosts ghouls, monsters … and school! That’s because Mondays are moandays!
GHOSTS, GHOULS AND MONSTERS
What’s a ghost’s favourite day of the week?
Moanday!
Laura Hoare
What do werewolves write at the end of their letters?
Best vicious!
Alex Cottee
Why did the teacher send Dracula’s son home?
Because he was coffin too much!
Nafisa Hussain
Which monster can sit on the end of your finger?
The bogeyman!
Carl Smith
What kind of music does a Mummy listen to?
Wrap!
Tara Littlehales
What happens when you have identical twin witches?
You can’t tell which witch is which!
Helen Innes
Who did Dracula marry?
The girl necks door!
Kirsty Moore
What kind of mail does a superstar vampire get?
Fang-mail!
Lindzy Westmoreland
What climbs ropes and is wrapped in a plastic bag?
The lunchpack of Notre Dame!
Jack Lewis
Where do abominable snowmen live?
In Chile!
Alex Cottee
What did the ghost teacher say to her pupils?
Watch the board while I go through it again!
Jemma Lynch
What do you write on a robot’s gravestone?
Rust in peace!
Warick Falconer
What do you call a female ghoul on a plane?
An air ghostess!
Duncan Mclnnes
Why did the wizard turn his socks into music sheets?
Because his feet started to hum!
Natalie Sear
Why did the skeleton go to the Chinese restaurant?
To get some spare ribs!
Kayleigh Aubrey
How do you make a skeleton laugh?
Tickle his funny bone!
Penelope Jeffcock
1st BOY: I got this haunted bike today.
2nd BOY: How do you know it’s haunted?
1st BOY: Because it’s got spooks on the wheels!
Hannah Davies
1st BOY: I keep dreaming about large red monsters with green teeth.
2nd BOY: Have you seen a doctor?
1st BOY: No, just large red monsters with green teeth!
Robert Parry
Why do witches fly on brooms?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!
Luke Preece
What soap do vampires watch?
Horror-nation Street!
Aisha Khan
What kind of boat does Dracula use?
A blood vessel!
Bill French
What’s the difference between a man who has walked into a haunted house, and a dog with fleas?
One is itching to go and the other is going to itch!
Duncan Mclnnes
There was a monster of Loch Ness,
Who
