after several seconds, the silence between them so absolute that Bella could hear every tick of the clock hanging on the wall above the dresser.
Gabriel’s expression was pained. ‘I realise you are still angry with me, Bella, but I do not believe I have done anything to deserve your contempt.’
Not recently, Bella acknowledged self-derisively, having accepted during her deliberations last night that she was just as responsible for what had happened between them the previous evening as Gabriel was. That she had wanted him as much as he had appeared to want her.
She sighed heavily. ‘I’m not angry, Gabriel,’ she admitted ruefully. ‘At least, not with you.’
He gave her a searching glance. ‘You are angry with yourself because we made love last night?’
‘We had sex last night, Gabriel—’
‘We made love—’
‘You can call it what you like, but we both know what it really was!’ Her eyes glittered angrily.
Gabriel drew in another controlling breath. ‘I thought I was going to talk and you were going to listen?’
‘Not if you’re going to say things I don’t agree with!’ she snapped.
Gabriel didn’t know whether to shake Bella or kiss her! Although he very much doubted that Bella would welcome either action in her present mood.
‘I will endeavour not to do so,’ he teased.
‘You just can’t guarantee it,’Bella acknowledged dryly.
Gabriel shrugged. ‘It is not always possible to know what is or is not going to anger you.’
‘Well, as long as you steer clear of last night or anything that happened five years ago, you should be on pretty safe ground!’
Gabriel grimaced. ‘Ah.’
Her eyes widened. ‘You are going to tell me about five years ago…?’
‘It was my intention to do so, yes.’
‘But—you’ve never wanted to talk about it!’
‘The situation has changed—Bella…?’he questioned as she stood up abruptly and moved to stand with her back to the room as she stared out of the kitchen window.
Bella’s neck was so delicately vulnerable, her back slender, her shoulders narrow—far too narrow, Gabriel acknowledged heavily, for her to have carried alone the burden of her pregnancy and then the bringing up of their son for the last four and a half years.
‘Please, Bella…?’ he asked again softly.
It felt as if Bella’s heart were actually being squeezed in her chest as she heard the gentleness in Gabriel’s tone.
When they were on the island she had asked Gabriel to tell her what really happened five years ago. At the time she had genuinely wanted to know the answer. But now—now when Bella already felt so vulnerable and exposed by her realised love for him, by the wildness of their lovemaking the previous evening—she really wasn’t sure she could bear to hear Gabriel talk about his feelings for another woman.
Especially if he were to tell her he still had those feelings for Janine Childe…!
Coward, a little voice inside her head taunted mockingly. Bella had always known that Gabriel hadn’t, didn’t, and never would love her, so what difference did it make if he was now willing to talk about five years ago?
It shouldn’t matter at all!
But it did…
Bella stiffened her shoulders, her expression deliberately unreadable as she turned back to face Gabriel. A defensive stance that almost crumbled as the gentleness she had heard in Gabriel’s tone was echoed in the darkness of his eyes as he looked across the kitchen at her.
Damn it, she didn’t want his pity!
She wanted his love. She had wanted that five years ago, and she wanted it even more now. But if she couldn’t have that then she certainly didn’t want his pity!
Her shoulders straightened and her chin raised in challenge. ‘Go ahead,’ she finally invited tightly.
Gabriel continued to look at her silently for several seconds, and then he gave a decisive inclination of his head. ‘First I need to tell you where I have been since we parted yesterday evening—’
‘You said we were going to talk about what happened five years ago!’ Bella cut in impatiently. Having built herself up, having placed a shield about her shaky emotions, Bella now needed to get this conversation over with before that barrier crumbled into dust!
Gabriel sighed at the interruption. ‘My actions since we parted yesterday are relevant to that past. Sit with me, Bella?’ Gabriel encouraged huskily as he saw that her face was paler than ever, those dark shadows beneath her eyes emphasised further by that pallor.
The fact that Bella actually did as he asked told Gabriel how much his presence, this conversation, had unsettled her. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Bella any more than he already had, and yet it seemed his mere presence had managed do that.
He rubbed his eyes wearily. ‘I will leave any time you ask me to do so, Bella.’
She gave a humourless smile. ‘Is that a promise?’
‘If you wish it, yes,’ Gabriel assured her wryly.
Her eyed widened at his compliance. ‘Are you sure you haven’t received a blow to the head while you’ve been away?’
‘Very funny, Bella,’ he drawled.
‘One tries,’ she teased lightly.
Gabriel wasn’t fooled for a moment by Bella’s attempt at levity, knew by the wariness in her eyes and the tension beside her mouth that it was only a façade.
As his own calm was only a façade.
A nerve pulsed beside the livid scar on Gabriel’s cheek. ‘Bella, when we were on the island you asked me what really happened five years ago, when three Formula One cars crashed and two other men were killed as a consequence. Do you still want to know the answer to that question?’
‘Yes, of course!’
‘And you will believe me if I tell you the truth?’
‘Of course I’ll believe you, Gabriel.’ She looked irritated that he should doubt it.
He smiled briefly. ‘As was stated at the time, the findings of the official enquiry were that it was a complete accident, but I knew—I have always known—that it was Paulo Descari, and not I, who was responsible for our three cars colliding.’
‘But—’ Bella gasped. ‘It was deliberate?’
Gabriel’s jaw clenched. ‘I believe so, yes.’
Bella
