your love, after all?’ Bella realised heavily. ‘Had she told Paulo Descari she was ending their relationship in order to come back to you?’
Gabriel’s expression was grim as he stood up abruptly. ‘Neither of those things was possible, I am afraid, Bella,’ he rasped. ‘The first for the simple reason that there was no love on my side for Janine Childe to return. The second because it was I who had ended our brief relationship, and not the other way around as Janine so publicly claimed only hours after the accident. But I do believe Janine may have taunted Paulo with our relationship,’ he continued. ‘He tried to provoke an argument with me that morning, was so blind with jealousy that he would not believe me when I told him I had no feelings for Janine.’ He sighed heavily. ‘I was not physically responsible for the accident, Bella, but I have nevertheless always felt a certain guilt, not only because of my complete indifference to Janine, but because I survived and two other men did not.’
‘But that’s—You have no reason to feel guilty, Gabriel.’ Bella gasped. ‘You could so easily have died, too!’
‘And instead I am here. With you,’ Gabriel murmured huskily.
How long would it take for Bella to realise, to question, after the things he had just told her, the night the two of them had spent together five years ago?
Gabriel watched as the blankness left Bella’s face to be replaced with a frown, that frown disappearing, too, seconds later as she looked across at him questioningly.
Gabriel drew in a controlling breath. ‘I was unconscious for several days after the accident, and so was unable at the time to deny or confirm Janine’s claim that I had caused the accident because I was still in love with her.’ His top lip turned back contemptuously. ‘By the time I was well enough to deny her accusations I simply did not care to do so,’ he added flatly.
‘Why didn’t you?’ Bella demanded incredulously. ‘Surely you must have realised that Janine Childe’s claims gave people reason to continue to have doubts despite the findings of the official enquiry?’
His eyes narrowed. ‘Did you have reason to continue to doubt them, too, Bella?’
She shook her head vehemently. ‘Not over your innocence, no.’
Gabriel had thought, had hoped this would be easier than it was. But it wasn’t. Baring his soul in this way, with no idea of the outcome, was excruciating.
‘I don’t understand why you didn’t speak out, Gabriel,’ Bella said. ‘From what you’ve said, you were supposed to be the one who died that day!’
He turned away. ‘Jason was dead. As was Paulo. When people die, Bella, all that is left is the memories people who loved them have of them. What good did it do anyone, but especially Paulo and Jason’s families, for me to claim that one man had possibly been deliberately responsible for the death of the other?’
Bella could see the logic behind Gabriel’s words—she just couldn’t make any sense of it!
‘That was…very self-sacrificing, of you,’ she murmured gently.
‘More so than even I realised,’ he acknowledged harshly.
She looked up sharply as a realisation hit her. ‘You really didn’t make love to me that night because you were upset at losing Janine Childe to another man, did you?’
His smile was rueful. ‘No, I did not.’
‘Then—that morning you—’ She moistened dry lips. ‘You said you would call me. Did you really mean it?’
‘Yes.’
‘You did?’ The beat of Bella’s heart sounded very loud in her ears as her thoughts—her hopes, rose wildly.
‘I did,’Gabriel confirmed heavily. ‘Our night together had been—surprising.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes.’ Gabriel took a deep breath. ‘Unfortunately that altercation with Paulo meant I did not have chance to ring you before the practice session, and obviously I was unable to do so afterwards. Then, once I recovered and there had been no word from you, I believed you did not want to know.’
Bella’s hands were clenched so tightly that she could feel her nails piercing the skin of her palms. Gabriel hadn’t been in love with Janine Childe, not then and certainly not now. Gabriel had meant it that morning five years ago when he had said he would call her.
Tears blurred Bella’s vision, Gabriel just a hazy outline as he stood so still and silent across the kitchen. ‘I thought—I didn’t believe I would ever see you again after that night.’
‘A belief that became fact,’ Gabriel rasped.
‘But not because you wanted it that way!’ Bella protested achingly.
‘No.’
‘Gabriel, I—I don’t know what to say!’ She stood up restlessly. ‘I was sitting at home that night when the announcement of the crash came on the evening news. Saw the two bodies lying on the ground. You being carried away on a stretcher before they placed you in the ambulance and rushed you off to hospital. It was the worst moment of my life.’ She gave a disbelieving shake of her head. ‘Or, at least, I thought it was, until Janine Childe appeared on the television immediately afterwards claiming that you were still in love with her.’
‘It never occurred to me—I never realised that her lies would have convinced anyone, but I suppose I knew the real Janine, and you didn’t.” Gabriel frowned.
‘It was the one about your being in love with her that I thought to be true,’ Bella admitted. ‘I didn’t know you well, Gabriel, but I certainly never believed you capable of deliberately harming another man.’
‘Bella, what would you have done that day if you had not believed I was in love with Janine?’
‘I would have come to you, of course!’ she exclaimed. ‘I wouldn’t have cared who had tried to stop me. I would have made them let me see you!’
‘Why?’
Bella raised wary eyes to his. ‘Why…?’
‘Why, Bella?’ Gabriel repeated gruffly.
Because she had fallen in love with him that night, that was why! Because she was still in love with him!
Gabriel’s eyes narrowed as he saw the uncertainty flicker across Bella’s face. The wariness. The desire not to be hurt again.
Gabriel felt that same desire, both five years ago and again now.
He drew in a deep breath, accepting that one of them had to break the deadlock between them. ‘Perhaps if I were to tell you why it was that I had no interest in what people believed happened that day…?’
Bella blinked, her throat moving convulsively as she swallowed hard before speaking. ‘Why didn’t you, Gabriel?’
His mouth twisted. ‘For the same reason that nothing mattered to me when I regained consciousness two days after the accident.’ He shrugged. ‘Because you were not there, Bella,’ he admitted bluntly. ‘You were
