that 75 per cent of the people in the room wanted more energy. A week later I gave a presentation to a packed assembly hall of 10-year-olds and asked the same question. This time every single child in the room said they wanted to be shown how to have more energy. Children are wise that way, aren’t they?
Why do we give up on our energy? By this I mean settle for less. Why do we think it’s impossible to have more energy, to feel extraordinary, to wake up in the morning with a smile, or at least grateful for what lies ahead? Do you think it’s possible to feel like this?
A while ago I realised that in helping people overcome their sleep problems something else was happening – something that I hadn’t set out to do. Using my sleep formula wasn’t only helping them switch off, lie down and sleep, but also tap into more energy. While this might not sound like rocket science – if you sleep well of course you’ll have more energy – but the quality of that energy and how it impacted their lives was truly extraordinary.
Was I responsible for this? Were the tools I was sharing bringing about this amazing effect? Well, yes and no. I realised that by helping people with my Fast Asleep, Wide Awake (FAWA) formula they went on to get good sleep but then the sleep started to do its work, which in turn supercharged their energy. Sometimes this happened after just one session. In fact, I very rarely needed to see anyone for more than a few sessions – as long as they were following the FAWA formula, I could take them to a place where their body’s innate wisdom then started to do the work.
For example, Simon, a personal trainer, came to see me exhausted and struggling with nightmares. He went on to end a troubled relationship, leave his job and set up a successful fitness business. Or Sarah, a drama student, on the verge of giving up her studies due to sleep problems and fatigue, who has recently been awarded a prestigious award and a fellowship to study in the States.
When we are aligned with life, dealing with it head on and not running away, our life force is unlocked and our energy becomes extraordinary.
Belief #9: This Book Could Change Your Life
If you work through the techniques and exercises progressively as they appear in the book, they will certainly begin to change your life. I have thought hard about using the words ‘change your life’ because I don’t want to offer false promises nor do I wish to sound boastful. But this not-so-humble claim is made on the basis of the feedback I receive from my clients and patients all the time. When I started doing this work it actually took me a while to believe it. But my scientist’s brain started to become more convinced as I continued collecting the data.
Belief #10: Your Sleep Problem Might Be a Blessing in Disguise
Ouch! Please don’t throw this book at the wall. Trust me, I do know what it feels like to not sleep and feel as if you’re the only person in the world awake at 2 a.m. It’s horrible. But I am going to show you how to change this and more.
As I’ve already said, the root cause of any sleep problem is not just about sleep, as there’s The Real Work that needs to be done. Invariably, by working with the unique FAWA formula you’ll likely to get to the point where you have to do and want to do The Real Work. You’ll arrive at the true meaning of your sleep problem and the work then brings about healing in your life (and in turn you sleep better).
If right now you can’t even imagine that your sleep ‘problem’ could be a blessing, can I ask you, just for now, to hold this thought at the back of your mind … a gentle possibility perhaps? Here are some real-life examples:
The woman who couldn’t get to sleep or stay asleep due to supporting her husband through his brain cancer treatment. Doing The Real Work she became aware of her relationship with perfectionism and control. She learnt how to safely feel and express emotions. She learnt how to embrace uncertainty.
The university student who suffered from nightmares and sleepwalking. Doing The Real Work she became aware of her relationship with perfectionism and control. She is learning how to be still and accept herself.
The professional athlete who couldn’t sleep before a big game because he kept mentally replaying his failure when he should have been sleeping. Doing The Real Work he became aware of his relationship with perfectionism and control, and how it hindered his ability to perform at his best. He is learning how to deal with failure and visualise success.
The 38-year-old city worker who was exhausted and burnt out from overworking. A near disaster brought him to my clinic when he fell asleep while standing at the top of the stairs – he was holding his three-month-old daughter at the time. Part of his pattern of overworking was related to his worry that he wasn’t good enough so he felt the need to prove himself. Things weren’t good at home too and his wife was finding motherhood very difficult. He was carrying the full weight of his wife’s problems on his shoulders. Doing The Real Work he became aware of his relationship with perfectionism and control, and is working on self-acceptance and self-esteem. He is learning about boundaries in his personal and professional relationships.
The 50-year-old investment banker who lost his way in life, despite having accumulated significant financial success. He was taking seven different types of medication to quell his anxiety, settle his stomach, control his pre-diabetic condition and cholesterol levels and help him sleep. Doing The Real Work he became aware of how much he had been living in misalignment with his personal values. He is finding meaning and purpose and discovering what true happiness means for him.
The HR manager who couldn’t switch off from the demands of her day. For over a year she had been waking in the early hours worrying and finding it hard to get back to sleep. Doing The Real Work she became aware of her relationship with perfectionism and control. She is learning how to manage the boundaries in her relationships at work and home, and how to manage her tendency to over-give at the expense of her own energy. She is building self-esteem and self-acceptance.
The accountant who, after months of sleep deprivation and running in survival mode, was signed off with stress and exhaustion. Doing The Real Work he became aware of his relationship with perfectionism and control. He is finding meaning and purpose.
Are you surprised to see how often ‘relationship with perfectionism and control’ comes up? Virtually everyone who comes to see me has something going on with his or her relationship with themselves. How they see and speak to themselves. Not feeling good enough. Not loving or even liking themselves. This might have made them successful in many ways – the fear of not being good enough drove them hard, but it came at a cost – they ended up sleepless and exhausted. Later I am going to show you how this absence of self-acceptance and self-love transfers into your sleep, creating a rigidity and inability to accept support. More importantly, I’m going to show you how to fix it.
These 10 beliefs form the philosophy behind my work as a sleep therapist and the FAWA formula. I know you need quick results so here’s a summary of how the formula will lead you from surviving to thriving.
The FAWA Formula
Fast Asleep, Wide Awake is in four parts to reflect the tried-and-tested FAWA formula I use with clients and patients whether in my consulting room, in group therapy or in an auditorium. By using the formula you can start to revolutionise both your sleeping and waking hours, and this is how we roll:
Part I – A Shift in Awareness
Understand what has been going on with your sleep by taking a Personal Reality Check, which consists of the same questions that I would ask you if you were sitting in a consulting room with me and will help you understand your sleep and energy. You may be surprised how simply taking this assessment will bring about
