you decide that a gentler approach is needed, how do you go about this because this stance might be completely alien to you? Well, the first thing is to relax your grip on the goal. I understand that if you haven’t been sleeping and you’re exhausted, you’re desperate to see some results. You might tell yourself, ‘I hope this works.’ I recommend a subtle shift in mindset in which you become curious rather than goal-focused and you say to yourself, ‘I wonder what will happen if I do this?’ Do you see the difference? The latter is softer, more open to whatever happens – and that’s exactly what is needed to sleep.
Learning to Listen Deeply
For many people listening is a lost skill. In our noisy world we’ve become so used to living on the surface of life, talking but not really listening, watching but not really seeing, hearing but not really understanding, and because of this we stop feeling too.
When you slow down, you listen and feel what your body is telling you.
When you listen deeply you might start to discern that what you need is to get up and move, rather than have that cup of coffee, or to eat something nourishing, rather than continue sitting there staring at the computer screen. You might spot when your mind is producing a continuous stream of unhelpful thoughts, which are driving even more tension and rigidity into your body. This state usually only becomes apparent when you get into bed at night when you might start to think, ‘Where did that come from? I thought I was feeling fine a minute ago.’ You might start to notice that, even though you’ve been consumed and overwhelmed with the worries of your life, there are also a few (and actually maybe more than a few) gifts that you’d stopped noticing – that you’re taking for granted and have stopped seeing.
I realised a long time ago that one of the most important aspects of my job is really helping people to listen and notice deeply – to become more conscious. I emphasise the word ‘deeply’ because, if we can get to a place of deep listening and noticing, then a kind of magic starts to happen and we start making the right, the most intelligent, choices. I don’t mean exam-passing, credential-attaining intelligence but a more inward-focused body-mind intelligence that starts to steer us in the best possible direction – deeper sleep, more energy and better life choices.
Breathe Deeply
So right now I invite you to wake up your ability to listen deeply. This is the first, vital step to becoming more conscious.
1 Sit comfortably. Place both feet firmly on the floor. Straighten up and breathe deeply into your belly and exhale long and slow.
2 Imagine sending that exhalation out through the lower half of your body and out through your feet. Breathe back in feeling your belly expand outwards.
3 Repeat the first two steps, but this time with your eyes closed. And now feel into your body. Is there any tightness or any rigidity? Feel your body … listen to it … what does it want? What is it telling you?
I was surprised when I did this simple breathing exercise while writing these words. I took my hands off the keyboard and followed my own instructions. I found myself leaning back a little and stretching the front of my chest, and as I did so I heard a little click as tension was released from my breastbone. (I didn’t even know that was there.) I opened my arms, as if stretching my wings, and felt a blissful stretch in my shoulders and upper back. (I didn’t even know my shoulders and back were tense.) I found myself releasing a sigh, ‘AAAAHHH.’ Now that I’ve straightened up and opened my eyes, I find I can breathe slightly more deeply. And I’m feeling somewhat more focused and relaxed at the same time.
Maintain a Relaxed State of Focus
Keep doing this as you read. Keep working on the art of listening deeply and noticing. You will find that you start receiving more and more ‘data’ from your intelligent body. And you’ll begin to find that you are more able to understand exactly what this data is guiding you to do.
Beware of resistance and protest – you may read something and think, ‘This is something I’ve never done and could never do.’ Strangely, this might be the very thing that you do need to do.
Imagine yourself in a vision of what you want to create – see yourself getting into bed and melting gratefully, without resistance, into a deep, nourishing sleep. See yourself waking in the morning, again with gratitude for the sleep you’ve had. See yourself moving with energy to meet your day with open heart and mind.
Chapter 2
‘All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.’
Ralph Waldo Emerson
The FAWA formula isn’t something I learnt from a textbook or studied at university. Sure, I’ve studied for degrees and read a lot of books, but what I’m going to share in the following chapters comes from an inside-out approach that brings together several strands: academic studies, professional research and observations from my work. Much of my work is intuitive, perhaps because I have also been my own patient, and often I have found myself knowing something and then, with great relief, and sometimes years later, find the scientific evidence and data to validate what I have always known.
However, it was a lecture on homeostasis – maintaining internal balance and constancy – that finally woke me up to my life’s work. At the time I wasn’t quite sure why this particular lecture was worth listening to, but later, as I struggled to maintain a sense of balance in my own life, it all became clear.
At the time I was studying for a Doctorate in Physiology but, I guess like many students, I struggled to get out of bed in the morning and was more intent on having a good time. Even back then, I knew it was possible to sleep with your eyes open.
This time, I didn’t fall asleep. Instead I was entranced by the lecturer’s words as he spoke about how every biological process in the body – temperature, appetite, cellular fluid balance, breathing, heartbeat and the sleep–wake cycle – oscillates around a set point, following a sinusoidal up and down rhythm, as shown in Figure 1 below.
Figure 1: The natural rhythm of physiological processes
The more I studied (and paid attention), the more I became fascinated by how intricately and intelligently the body works to create balance, even in rapidly changing external conditions.
A few years down the line, I found myself in a City of London health-screening clinic measuring the physiology and wellbeing of lawyers, bankers and other corporate employees, and this was when things started to change for me and the FAWA formula was born.
Righting the Balance
I loved helping people to understand what was going on with their sleep patterns and energy levels, showing them how the world was impacting them and what they could do to stay in balance, offering reassurance and hope. I was particularly interested to notice that what I measured in the lab didn’t quite match what l learnt in my academic training; there was a mismatch between the theory and the practice.
My measurements seemed to indicate that people attending the clinic were overusing their fight-or-flight system or sympathetic nervous system (SNS). In other words,
