have doubts. Positive thinking is not about denying doubts. Or denying fears. Positive thinking is about recognizing the doubts and the fears, and using our minds intelligently to move through them, past them, and to accomplish our goals anyway.
The limit in positive thinking is what you personally believe is possible. Not what someone else believes. What you believe. Some people do accept they will probably die of their cancer; we spoke of this earlier. But maybe at the moment the limit of your belief is that you can genuinely only imagine the cancer becoming stable. If you consider that prospect for a moment, we know cancer tends to multiply, to increase in size exponentially. That is why once it is large enough to be detected, it commonly grows quite rapidly. (Please note, this is a broad generalization. Some cancers do grow very slowly indeed.) Therefore, when a cancer becomes stable, it is a sign of real progress. Maybe once stable, you can imagine the cancer receding a little.
Positive thinking works well with progressive goals. While some people go for an all-out, big goal like total recovery right from the start, others find it more manageable, more realistic and effective to advance in stages.
Step 7. Write Down Your Goals
With any significant goals you have, write them down in a journal, in a special notebook or simply on paper you can easily refer to. The writing will lead to even greater clarity, and you have a good chance of remembering what is written!
Step 8. Finally, Decide How Important Each Goal Is
Once you have clarified your goals, the next question is simple. How important is each goal to you? Is it a casual thing? If it works out, would it be nice but no big deal? Or is it a matter of life and death? Something you choose to give your all to?
When my secondary cancers appeared, I became totally uncompromising. For the next few years, until it was clear that I was well again, everything I considered, everything I did, needed to get past the first big filter.
Will this help me to recover?
If it did not pass that test in the affirmative, I was not interested. Of course, having fun passed that test. Some people seem to be of the impression getting well is tough work, which it can be, and unpleasant, which it has no need to be at all. In fact, I had a wonderful time during my recovery. There was this fabulous excuse to do all the things that were good for me, all the things that caused me joy and happiness. I had cancer. I could change whatever I liked, do whatever was needed. I had a great reason, a great excuse, and when I did it all in this uncompromising fashion, I was fortunate indeed: I fully recovered.
Positive thinking is a measure of what you are committed to and how committed to it you are. The first principle, having a clear goal, leads naturally to the second principle.
The Second Principle of Positive Thinking: Do Whatever It Takes
The three principles of positive thinking tend to flow on, one to the other, fairly naturally. When we have a clear goal, it often seems easy to commit to doing whatever it takes to achieve that goal. If so, it is as easy as that. If not, if it seems hard to do whatever it takes, then planning and concerted effort makes sense—all in the right state of mind!
Step 1. Embrace All That You Do
When it comes to positive thinking, the key recommendation is to embrace all that you do. To think through your options, decide upon your goals and embrace them. So to not just passively accept a treatment, or put up with dietary changes. Not just go along with things because someone else wants you to do it. Take ownership. Take control. Embrace everything you do. Welcome it. Commit. Believe in what you are doing. Then your mind will be activated and the placebo response will be working courtesy of your conscious mind, your conscious commitment.
Jill was a lady who came to our groups in a heightened state of anxiety. She was having chemotherapy for secondary cancer and was deeply concerned for her own future and the fate of her two young children. Amid the emotionally safe environment the group created, for the first time she shared her fears and cried openly. Quiet understanding supported Jill as she released her deeply held pain. She reported feeling as if a weight had lifted from her shoulders.
Up to this point Jill had been experiencing major anticipatory nausea even before she went into the hospital for her regular chemotherapy treatments. It transpired she was quite undecided in her own mind regarding this treatment. There was the hope of some benefit and another deep fear for the potential side effects. Once the emotion had cleared, Jill subsequently talked through her choices regarding the chemotherapy.
Now, with her mind somewhat clearer, she could think more logically and she decided she was doing the right thing for her. She embraced her treatment and went to the hospital looking forward to doing something she considered to be in her own best interests. She embraced the lifestyle program, ate well, meditated regularly, exercised and so on. When Jill arrived at the group, she had not been responding to her treatment. Two months later her tests had improved dramatically. Her main doctor remarked on this and encouraged her, saying whatever she was doing, she should stick to it!
Step 2. Check Your Clarity
This is a major point. In my experience, the most common factor behind a lack of commitment is a lack of clarity. The answer? Revisit the first principle! Set a clear goal.
Step 3. Use Ideals Wisely
A great deal of what is presented in this book is made up of ideal ways to use our lifestyle, our own inner potential along with our actions to generate healing. Remember, however, ideals are just that, ideals. As such they may be unattainable in their entirety. However, ideals do give us a goal, they do give us a sense of direction, and they do give us a strong sense of what to aim for. Obviously, we will be the better for any step we make toward an ideal.
So as we lay out these lists of things to do, these ideas, be comfortable with where you are, start where you can, do what you can. It is obvious. If you are really tense and anxious to begin with and you relax 10 percent of what is ideally possible, you are 10 percent better off. That is quite a good start! It will serve you well to be pleased that you are 10 percent more relaxed, rather than to worry about being 90 percent short of being fully relaxed. Positive thinking is acknowledging the 10 percent gain, focusing on that as progress, and being committed to making even more progress as time goes on.
Step 4. Seek Inspiration
Emphasis has been given to the pivotal role of hope. Many people find it useful to collect a “bank” of inspirational material to read, view or listen to when they need inspiration. Perhaps at the place where you meditate, you keep photos of inspiring people or landscapes, whatever inspires you the most. Even simply bringing inspiring people to mind can powerfully lift your spirits and these people may be family, friends, community leaders, spiritual or religious figures.
Step 5. Develop Constructive Discipline
The discipline we are talking of here is best described as a “personal kindness.” This type of discipline is not a discipline imposed by someone else, it is a self-discipline. This self-discipline is based upon having the clarity of mind to understand what is in our own best interests, what is needed for our own welfare and well-being. This self-discipline is about having the resolve to actually do whatever is good for us. It is the capacity to do what is appropriate. That is what it is to be kind to ourselves. Simple as that. It may not always be easy, but it is always kind.
So when we wander off track we need to notice, to be vigilant and to gently and firmly bring ourselves back to what we know is good for us.
There is a very useful and practical recommendation here. Do something each day purely as
