next time I’m in town.’ He hugs me. ‘Think about what I said.’
I kiss Laurie on the cheek and take my bag of clothes from him. We look each other in the eye for a moment, then smile and part ways. When I glance back, I see my brother watching me. I wave and turn right.
Stiff from sitting so long, I walk up River Street, clutching my bag. The canal is full of little barges and flat-bottomed boats, goods are being loaded and unloaded everywhere.
I make a beeline through the familiar streets to the other side of the city, where the cathedral towers over the rooftops. I enter the church through the door on Choir Street and wander through the gigantic apse with its pillars and stained-glass windows to the front, right up to the altar. I sit down on the front pew and close my eyes. For a while I sit like that, listening to my own breathing and the irregular beating of my heart.
It is only when everything inside me has quieted down that I open my eyes again. The silence hanging between the white walls and arches has a calming effect.
I clasp my hands together. The content of my prayers is no different than at the village church in De Rijp but here it feels different – as if here, among the massive stone vaults, I will be heard more clearly. I don’t know whether my entreaties make any difference. I don’t feel any relief yet. With my head still bowed, I leave the church. Outside, I blink at the sunlight and stand dazed for a moment before allowing myself to be swallowed up once more in the bustle of the city.
Near the cathedral is the inn and tavern, the Thirteen Beams, which is run by friends of mine. Bertha and her husband Emil do a roaring trade because their inn is the first one travellers come to when they enter the city from the west through Goblin Gate. It’s a large building with a stepped gable and a wrought-iron sign that swings merrily in the wind.
My hands are so cold they’re almost frozen; I open the door and let out a sigh of relief as the warm air washes over me. The small taproom is full to the rafters. I make my way through the mass of people standing and sitting between me and the bar. Emil is pouring beer. Bertha is just walking off with two foaming tankards in her hands.
‘Emil!’ I shout, leaning across the bar.
‘Cat! Hello! Lovely to see you. It’s a bit busy right now but I’ll catch up with you in a minute!’ he shouts.
I nod and whip around as someone puts their hand on my shoulder. It’s Bertha. Her dark curls have worked their way out from under her cap to frame her face. ‘There you are! Do you want something to eat?’
‘Yes, please.’
Bertha disappears into the kitchen and comes back a moment later with a hearty-looking soup and a hunk of bread. I quickly find somewhere to sit. By the time I’ve finished eating, it’s a bit quieter in the inn and Bertha comes to join me. She asks how the journey has been.
‘Long and cold, but Laurie came with me,’ I say. ‘Can I sleep here tonight? I don’t need to be at my boss’s house until tomorrow.’
Bertha’s expression turns solemn.
‘What is it? Are you full? It doesn’t matter, I’m sure I can go to the Morien’s Head,’ I say.
‘You can stay here as long as you want, but I have bad news. The gentleman who wanted you to be his housekeeper, Willebrand Nordingen, died two days ago. He fell ill – something to do with his lungs. Of course he was quite old, but his death still took us by surprise.’
For a moment I’ve no idea what to say. This is bad news. Not only for Nordingen, who seemed like a kind man, but for me too.
‘What do I do now? I’ve sold all my things, given up my lease.’
‘Then buy or rent a house here and find another job.’
‘There’s nothing else I can do. And I can’t go back to De Rijp.’
‘We’ll help you,’ says Bertha. ‘You can stay here until you get a place of your own and we’ll ask around about a job for you. An inn is the perfect place to do that.’
It’s reassuring to know I’m not alone, but it takes a while for me to accept that everything isn’t going to go as planned. It’s a good job I’ve got enough money to pay my way for the time being.
Emil comes and puts his hand on my shoulder. ‘You’ll find something,’ he says. ‘There’s plenty of work in Alkmaar.’
I spend all week searching for work. I crisscross the whole city, from the grand houses along Mient Canal, the fanciest thoroughfare in town, to the salt works on Oudegracht and the brewery on Dove Lane. I try my luck at the city orphanage on Doelen Street and the adjoining silk-weaving workshop, then at Saint Catherine’s Cloister and various inns and taverns. I don’t care what I have to do – cleaning, fetching and carrying, nursing the sick – as long as I have a job.
The end of the week finds me sitting across from Bertha in the inn, utterly disillusioned.
‘I didn’t think it would be so hard to find work,’ I say. ‘There are jobs for men, but it’s much harder for women.’
‘You could set up on your own. A small business of some kind.’
‘Selling what? Pots and pans? The city’s full of those already.’
‘But you paint them so beautifully. And now that you’re a resident of Alkmaar, you’re allowed to set up a business.’
I shake my head. ‘You know it’s not that easy. I’d have to serve an apprenticeship, pay fees to learn and pass an exam to become a master. And that’s assuming a guild would even take me on.’
‘A woman joined the Guild of Saint Lucas a while ago – Isabella Bardesius. Now she’s a painter with her own studio.’
‘Then she’s almost certainly from a rich family that paid for her education. They don’t let you in without training, Bertha.’ I stare into space, thinking. ‘Perhaps I should take that job in the infirmary after all. That’s the only offer I’ve had.’
‘In the pest house? Are you insane?!’
‘There’s no plague. The people in there have other diseases.’
‘Yes, and they’re just as infectious and just as deadly. That would be my last resort.’
‘It is my last resort. If I don’t find something soon, I’ll have to go back to De Rijp.’
Next to us, someone clears their throat. A man of around thirty with mid-length dirty blond hair is standing by the table. ‘Hello, Bertha. Sorry for interrupting, but I couldn’t help overhear your conversation.’
‘Matthias, it’s good to see you. How are you?’ Bertha’s face breaks into a broad smile.
‘Very well, thanks,’ says the man. ‘I’m passing through on my way to Den Helder and I’ve got a few bits of business to take care of in Alkmaar.’
‘Mister
