or any similar feeling. Our basic emotional need being exceptionally well met now, may not be from our experiencing in the present a single very pleasant recognizable event, but rather may be due to an unrecognized gradual accumulation of meeting exceptionally well, our basic emotional need on the unconscious level, from multiple parts of current pleasurable relationships, experiences, and situations. Our currently accumulating an exceptionally well met basic emotional need, on an unrecognized “part”-oriented basis, from the circumstances we currently have, may bring to mind, by predicate-equating, a recognizable distantly past very pleasurable experience from our subconscious which had a similar level of happiness. It would be erroneous for us to conclude that the well-remembered pleasurable event of the past is the very reason we feel so good now, and the very reason we may be having pleasant recurrent thoughts and pleasant dreams of that distantly past happy time. The only reason we feel so happy now is because our basic emotional need is being so well met now. It’s not at all because of that long past pleasurable event, or any of those similarly equated pleasant things, people, experiences, or situations of the distant past that may now be recurrently coming into our thoughts and dreams, by unconscious predicate-equating.
When our basic emotional need is currently being exceptionally well met, there may be “triggers” in what we might observe of our reality, that seemingly are able to bring to mind pleasant memories of a single very pleasant event that might have met exceptionally well our basic emotional need in the distant past. The “trigger,” whatever it might be, and that pleasant memory of the distant past, become equated in our unconscious mind with our current situation by some commonly shared predicate. That very happy time in our distant past may then be what we might want to enjoyably talk about to our friends as though it is the very reason for our now feeling so happy. Our present state of having our basic emotional need so well met, which might be unrecognizably well met from being predominantly met on a “part”-oriented basis, is made more understandable to us, and to others, by the rationalization we might unconsciously present of the very happy event of the distant past that was recognizably experienced by us at that time. It’s like we’re saying, “This is how and why I’m feeling so happy now so let me tell you all about it,” when it’s not the reason for our feeling so happy now, any more than very unpleasant memories of our distant past would be the reason for our currently feeling so unhappy!
Because a traumatic emotional event is less of a frustration of our basic emotional need, when that need is being adequately met than it is when it is being inadequately met, our extended talking with friends is of great importance. With more emotional strength, from more extended talking with friends, we can be better prepared not only for unexpected emotionally traumatic events we might encounter that we might easily recognize, but can be, just as importantly, also better prepared for any “part”-oriented frustrations of our basic emotional need that won’t be recognized. With a poorly met basic emotional need, unrecognized frustrations of our basic emotional need can become exaggerated in how they are unconsciously experienced, because of our having diminished emotional strength. They become unconsciously perceived as greater frustrations of our basic emotional need than they would be with a better met basic emotional need, which then produces more of an unmet basic emotional need and more resulting stored anger. If we’re not engaged in any extended talking, these frustrations can quickly become an unrecognizable reason for our currently becoming emotionally uncomfortable to a severe degree, or for our developing a severe emotional problem. With greatly decreased emotional strength from this, what might be recognizable trivial frustrations to others, with a more well met basic emotional need, can become major frustrations to us, and an added reason for our becoming more emotionally uncomfortable. Some emotional problems that we might develop won’t be consciously recognized by us as an emotional problem. But these unrecognized emotional problems will also become unconsciously experienced as greater or lesser problems depending on how much emotional strength we currently have.
Coming home from the war in Afghanistan, might be an unexpected stressful event on the unconscious level, where one would expect the reality of the home-coming to be very conducive to meeting well the basic emotional need of the veteran. But for some veterans, the talking that a veteran might do on returning home may not adequately meet that veteran’s basic emotional need, and just as importantly, may not adequately allow getting rid of recently accumulated stored anger from small unrecognized daily frustrations of that need, resulting in insufficient emotional strength. In contrast, veterans, while in the service, with a very adverse reality, but regularly involved in on-going talking with squad buddies, and often expressing recognizable anger in combat, as well as expressing both recognizable and unrecognizable anger in that talking with buddies, might have been adequately meeting their basic emotional need and adequately getting rid of anger so that anger wasn’t excessively stored. What can result for those veterans now at home from war is the exact opposite of what those combat squad members showed, where one would expect that their basic emotional need would be immensely frustrated from having to live in the extremely adverse reality of a combat zone, when it wasn’t. This was because they were meeting so much of that need in their unconscious while getting rid of anger in their extended talking, as well as in their daily expressing anger to the enemy in their combat activities. They weren’t accumulating an increasingly unmet basic emotional need or an increasing amount of stored anger, as they now might at home.
A returning veteran might have an emotional situation like what became evident in WW2, when a replacement soldier, or “repple-depple,” from the army’s replacement depot, or the “repo-depot,” would often have a difficult time fitting in with his newly assigned front line infantry squad. Although a “repple-depple” knew he was now part of the squad, he often didn’t “feel” that he was. The squad members also knew he was now part of the squad, but they too often didn’t “feel” he was. He wasn’t just felt as an “outsider” to the squad. Because he was a replacement for someone who very much had been an “insider,” but because of death or severe wounding, was no longer there, he was often initially felt as an emotionally unacceptable replacement for someone whom they might have felt could never be replaced. Because of this, the emotional attachments weren’t easily formed because any extended talking with the replacement soldier wasn’t likely to occur. It took a while for a replacement soldier to become emotionally accepted by the squad and equally involved in the squad’s extended talking where he could then meet better his basic emotional need and just as importantly, more easily get rid of his stored anger without accumulating it. During that time, the replacement soldier would appear more as a “by-stander” to the group’s talking than a participant. He was a “by-stander” to others who were meeting well their basic emotional need and expressing well their anger. As a result, he was more prone to becoming a psychiatric casualty.
For the returning veteran from combat in Afghanistan, those emotional attachments with those he, or she, had left behind on first entering military service, might not be as strong now, as they might have previously been when the veteran left home. Veterans might “know” without question that they very much do “fit in” on returning home, but they may not “feel” as though they do. Emotional attachments may not have had a chance to be re-established, or strengthened, and that might be because of not enough involvement in extended talking at home. These veterans may be much more emotionally attached on returning home, to their squad buddies left behind. Rather than an active participant of any talking at home, the returning veteran may feel more as a “by-stander.” Not enough time in talking can mean slower emotional re-attachments, less emotional strength, more stored anger, and more emotional problems. With less emotional strength, there’s less ability to emotionally cope with the home situation. Coping with that home situation might involve a majority of unrecognized or trivial frustrations of the basic emotional need that can result in excessively stored anger, after having become exaggerated frustrations to the returning veteran from a lessened amount of emotional strength. We might call it the “repple-depple syndrome of the returning veteran,” who too easily can show a very “bad case of nerves,” where nothing recognizable seems to be the immediate cause, and who may then become a high suicidal risk, as a result of that syndrome. It is these unrecognized exaggerated frustrations of the basic emotional need, from a lessened amount of emotional strength, that are the real “invisible wounds” for
