innumerable birth-control options, and it’s become a societal norm to use them. Then we start to wonder what it really takes to turn it all around.
The good news is that, with a little care and attention — and some sexy lingerie — odds are, you can probably have a baby if you want to. I want to help you improve your overall health and your chances for conception so that you will have a better pregnancy and more ease as a mother down the road. Modern life has helped get you here, and now Ayurveda can help you better care for your fertility going forward.
Failing Fertility 101
Women have fewer children today than their mothers did. Between 1960 and 2015, the average number of children a woman gave birth to was reduced by half. The number of childless women has doubled since the 1970s, and the average woman in the world had 2.5 children in 2015, as opposed to 5 in 1960. But today’s fertility landscape looks very different based on where you come from, what your religion is, how much money you have, and how many levels of schooling you’ve been through. Ironically, the women who seem the most successful — those with the best jobs, making the most money — are the least successful at having babies. Instead, it seems that putting so much energy and time into a career can rob a woman of the energy and time, and perhaps even the desire, she needs for fertility and motherhood. In addition, the stress levels that many women experience working in demanding jobs can end up sabotaging their health, damaging bodily tissues, crushing their creative spirit, and decreasing their reproductive power.
The women who are the most tapped into their fertility are actually women in less developed, less stable countries. For example, women in global areas of conflict, like Iraq, Afghanistan, and Yemen, have more than twice the number of children as do women in the stable, developed countries like the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom. Of all the religious affiliations, Muslim women are the most fertile, having 24 percent more children than the world average, while Buddhists are the least fertile, having 36 percent fewer children than the world average. Women with less money are great at making babies. Younger women are also very good at it, but they are increasingly giving up their prime fertile years and waiting until later in life to start a family, typically to pursue education, careers, or travel.
In summary, the women who look like their lives have the comfort and independence that so many women today are striving for somehow seem to be the ones who are failing in the fertility department, while those women with seemingly more challenging lives are popping out kids like champs.
So why is the modern woman having difficulty with fertility? There are many reasons, but here are some of the more common ones: First, there are particular time frames when women are more fertile, and because many are now heeding the call of nature much later in life, they are missing the peak fertility windows. Second, modern women build very rich lives outside of family life. They can put all their energy into their passions and simply neglect the passion of creating a family. Third, in their quest for achieving the perfect life, modern women have lost an appreciation for events that happen outside of their control — which are, unfortunately, the majority of natural biological processes occurring in the body and in nature. And this third reason may be due to the fourth reason: the environment can be so toxic for women that it affects their health and creates confusion about whom or what they can trust.
When it comes to fertility, many women are limiting themselves by the very thing that appears to give them power in other areas. Modern women appear empowered and strong because they are going after the great career, breaking molds, or shattering glass ceilings, but they may be lacking in the areas of love and family. I find that many women in my Ayurvedic practice aren’t even creating the space in their lives to meet a compatible partner, let alone start a family. Some dislike their jobs, bosses, colleagues, workload, or traveling so much — but they can’t stop prioritizing these things above all other facets of life, including family.
Many let this go on until they reach a point where they don’t feel they’ll be able to reproduce naturally because they waited too long to have a child, and due to this, they undergo many years and thousands of dollars’ worth of medical procedures to have a baby. Women try to outsmart time with the help of their doctors. Egg freezing, intrauterine insemination (IUI), in vitro fertilization (IVF), and getting a sperm donor and/or donor eggs and embryos are examples of the procedures a woman will undergo in order to check motherhood off her to-do list. Such an approach ends up working for some, and ends up with unfortunate outcomes for others. Even with egg freezing, there is always the risk that the freezer breaks. And root causes affecting fertility do not get addressed by focusing only on fertility treatment, and they can remain or get even worse after the baby is born.
And it’s not just women who are having problems with fertility. Male infertility is also on the rise. The times are changing for both women and men who want to start a family. It’s become difficult and expensive for so many people to have a child. However, there is also good news: the overwhelming majority of women who have children still conceive naturally, so there is hope for any woman looking to do so.
The Misaligned Superwoman
Today, modern women are exhausted, confused, and burned-out. Why else would we be so into yoga? We love burning ourselves out. Apparently, vacation time has been on a steady decline since 2000. A study done by Project: Time Off found that more than half of American workers left unused vacation days in 2018. And those who do take vacations frequently work while on them. With so many of us working like dogs, it’s no wonder we are suffering from stress, anxiety, digestive disorders, insomnia, substance abuse, and so forth. Really, people? Is this what we’ve decided is the American dream?
I’ve been guilty of it myself. I remember canceling a vacation once when my team at work was implementing a critical project and I felt guilty leaving during such a difficult time. Guess what happened right after I called off this vacation? I got sick twice in one month. Oh, the irony: I canceled a vacation when I needed it most. I must have thought that no one else could function without me, or perhaps I didn’t want anyone to function without me. What an ego. Truth is, if you work with a good team, then the moment you are out of the environment, people will shift around and start picking up the slack. Unless you are a key employee (this is fewer people than you may think), you are always replaceable, regardless of how late you work or how much time you put into that presentation.
Guess what happened when I left that job a year later? The work went on without me, as I went on my way with my work.
What have you done to burn yourself out in the past? What are you doing now?
A high percentage of people who experience stress (73 percent) report common psychological issues, such as irritability and anger, nervousness, lack of energy, or the urge to cry. An even higher percentage of people (77 percent) experience the common physical symptoms of stress, including fatigue, headache, upset stomach, muscle tension, and even loss of sex drive. So many of us are truly misaligned today. The wisdom of the body must be recaptured.
How we fill our free time is up to each of us. Some women will not take any time to relax or play, finding more and more opportunities to work themselves into the ground. Others are so lazy or so tired from work that they will sit in front of the TV all day or night.
It is important to look at yourself if either boredom or burnout is happening. They are two ends of the same spectrum. Either way, the wisdom of the body is being overridden by all the things you think you are supposed to be doing.
And this I can guarantee: However you are now, it’s going to get magnified if you have a baby. Every pattern you have presently will become exaggerated if you give birth to a child and don’t change your lifestyle because, in addition to having the same job, house payment, car payment, and so on, you will also have much more chaos and a tiny human depending on you who requires all the free time your sleep-deprived self can give.
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