on her work. She began to love her business again, which put her on the path to breaking into the six-figure mark within ten months — much sooner than she had anticipated.
Reforming Societal Messages
Our conditioning as women regarding money is also formed by the messages we receive from our patriarchal society, the media, advertising, and even fairy tales. Think about stories such as “Cinderella,” “Sleeping Beauty,” “Snow White,” and “Rapunzel,” which have repeatedly been used as a formula in novels and Hollywood romantic movies. These folk tales’ basic premise is that somewhere out there is a prince who will one day come to take the maiden away from all her troubles, bestowing the riches, love, and security that have been missing from her life. The message is that these women can rely on certain attributes — beauty, charm, and kind hearts — to find their Prince Charming but not on their intelligence, ambition, and talents. For generations, these messages have served to ingrain in girls the belief that they are not capable of earning their own living and of managing money.
On some unconscious (or maybe not so unconscious) level, many women have identified with the message that someone will come and rescue them from having to learn how to take care of themselves and their finances. This leaves women vulnerable and disempowered. This patriarchal message plays on women’s psyches, especially since feeling safe is very important to girls and women. In fact, separating money and security is difficult, since they are bound together in women’s minds. For women this can lead to staying in relationships that are not good or healthy for them, as they trade their freedom for the sense of safety. Women may put up with their partner’s infidelity or drinking problem or even abusive treatment for the sake of perceived security.
The “money = security” message came from a time when women who were married were more secure than those who were single. This idea can also spill over into our businesses and careers, causing women to stay in unhealthy work situations for the same reason — wanting to have security. Of course, true security comes from knowing who you are and what is most important to you. Inner security is your true source of strength.
JASMINE’S STORY
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