Breaking Up with Busy. Yvonne Tally
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EXERCISE: The Need/Want Connection
This would be a good time to begin a Breaking Up with Busy journal. As you work through the exercises in this book, your journal or notebook can provide you with a personal map of each step you take to free yourself from the madness of busyness. It will also provide you with a rewarding feeling of accomplishment, which will encourage you to continue.
1. What do I really want?
2. What will change for me when I have what I want?
3. What do I need that will move me toward what I really want?
4. Why now? State your answer in the positive.
I need ___________________________ to obtain (what I want) ____________________. Why now? Because _____________ meets my need and __________________ is what I want.
When I first used this exercise, I was struck by how often my clients would list all the things they wanted before realizing they had said nothing about what they needed. When they did acknowledge what they needed, it was often a list of things, or what other people had to do first before they could do what they needed. Be mindful of that scenario. Consider your personal attributes and your strengths, and how you can apply them to secure what you need and then move on to devising the bigger picture for yourself. Being clear about all three will help motivate you into action.
• Motivating Yourself out of Busy and into Action •
Some of us take action to reach a rewarding goal, while others take action to avoid discomfort. Most of us are motivated by the first and temporarily eased by the second. When we cultivate strategies that are derived from well-formed habits, and our actions are supported by self-awareness and clear motivations, we set ourselves up for achievement. Understanding how your brain works when forming habits is a great tool for motivating yourself out of busy and into action.
The brain is a powerful, dynamic, ever-evolving tool that is always available, capable of generating an infinite range of subtle and vast changes. Each of us operates from our unique programming — how we interpret our world and how we communicate it to ourselves and others based on our experiences. In a blink of the eye we pull those experiences to the forefront of our minds, apply meaning, and express that meaning with words and behavior. And the more we do this, the easier it is to implement the strategies — behavior and thinking — associated with those experiences. This is where training meets up with habit. Simply by changing how we think about something, we can rewire our brains’ response. When we’re stressed and busy, our brains don’t think clearly, and that’s when we are most likely to fall back on our habits. That’s valuable, especially for those with jobs such as first responders where habits — training — can be lifesaving. However, when we employ habits, which may seem useful in the moment but might not support our bigger picture, it’s time to revamp those habits and establish new ones that work best for what we need and want.
Every thought we have is an ingredient of our personal reality. Our thoughts quietly direct our actions. For example, if you spend a disproportional amount of time thinking about an ex-lover, it’s unlikely that you’ll get over him or create any mental and spiritual space for a new person to enter your life. The same is true if you tend to focus on the problem rather than the solution; the problem will remain alive and well, while the solution will be given no space to grow. Your thoughts generate boundless possibilities for your life strategies, for how you manage your unique world, and for the expansion of your mental, physical, and spiritual course.
Your brain needs to be recharged, just like your body. Overworking it without giving it a rest has a direct impact on your overall health. Reprogramming your thinking wakes up your awareness and gives you a refreshed way of looking at situations and challenges. It’s a reboot of cerebral assets. When we rest and recharge our thoughts — our brains — we can begin developing new strategies for mindfully choosing how to spend our time.
• Your Life Strategies Review •
Now that you understand the connection between your life strategies and how they influence and form your habits, you have assimilated the essential tools to shift, edit, or change both. And, having learned how to pinpoint your need/want connection, you are well on your way to breaking your busy habits and freeing yourself from your overscheduled days.
The Life Strategy Account Review will help you identify what’s working for you and what’s not. As you take account of each tool and realign your priorities, you’ll begin editing your out-of-date strategies and designing your unique solutions for breaking your busy habits.
This review is a thinking reboot. It will help you access more mindful options for getting out of your busy habits so you’ll feel more energized and optimistic about changing the habits that are holding you back. Either way, just by reviewing the questions, you have already shifted your awareness, and that is certain to drive you toward what you want.
EXERCISE: Life Strategy Account Review
1. What resourceful strategies are working for you? These are the strategies that incorporate your natural attributes and allow you to easily maneuver and manage your time, relationships, and personal interests.
I use ________ strategy. This strategy uses my ____________ attributes. I know it works well for me because I feel ________ during and after I employ this strategy.
2. If you were to let go of one unresourceful strategy, what would it be? How would letting go of it enhance your day?
It’s not working for me when I ______. I would/will let go of my ___________ habit when I employ this strategy. I know doing so will give me more time to ____________, and I will move closer to feeling/experiencing _____________.
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