I remember one teenage student who always played with a staggering lack of expression, even after two years of dedicated work together. I tried my best, yet I have to admit that some part of me had given up hope. Then suddenly, one day she walked in, sat down, and played gorgeously. I was stunned by her transformation. Remorse hit me for believing there were limits to her abilities. For a brief period I debated internally whether I should continue teaching, given the immensity of my mistake.
Pulling myself together, I swore on the spot to never again judge anyone’s level of so-called talent — and I highly recommend that you insist your mentors embrace this same perspective. From then on, I would share the message that growth is always possible and that every single person has creativity inside them, waiting to be set free. I’ve witnessed amazing turnarounds many times since that fateful day. This wasn’t a fluke; it was a revelation.
Both personally and from the standpoint of being a teacher, I’ve experienced the massive impact mentors have on our creative lives. It is important to pause here and reflect on the mentors in your life, because they play a significant part in your creative journey. People in these sacred roles include teachers, coaches, instructors, and guides and represent intimate relationships not to be entered into lightly. You’ve seen how my mentors affected me. As you move forward on your creative path, allow me to share my recommendations for selecting your mentors so that you both flow in Sacred Reciprocity:
1.Mentors are growth-oriented at every moment; move on immediately if you feel any type of constriction or negativity coming your way. I don’t mean constructive criticism here! Constructive criticism is both positive and necessary in order for us to break out of ruts and habits and to see past blind spots. Accurate, even somewhat bracing, feedback is absolutely fine (and often the trigger for a breakthrough!) if it is delivered with discernment and love.
2.Mentors are highly skilled at what they teach; they demonstrate their ability to do and understand their subject.
3.There is chemistry between you and your mentor. Trust your intuition. Mentors have such a grand impact on our creative lives that the entire skill-magic trajectory must be honored. While your mentor must be skilled, there must also be magic between you. Hold your mentorship relationships to the same high standards you would your intimate relationships.
BRIGHT WAY ACTIVITY
Review Your Mentors
Review all your past and present mentors. Do they fit all three recommendations above (they’re growth-oriented, they’re highly skilled, and there’s chemistry between you)? If so, detail how they fit and what effects that had on you.
Conversely, if they didn’t fit, what effect did that have on you? Please don’t get distressed during this activity: many of us have endured nonideal mentors, myself included. As composer and producer Emma said, “It was an enormously healing step for me to acknowledge the impact of traumatic mentors and that I actually had some creative trauma. It felt really therapeutic for my creative reclaiming to journal it out and not dismiss it.”
Review your list, and meditate on this: you have just drafted the job description of how to be your best mentor. Relish the rise in confidence you might feel as you step into this role more and more.
From this place of small yet mighty actions, growth mindset, and Sacred Reciprocity, it’s time for you to take the Bright Way Readiness Quiz!
Our journey together will ask some things of you. It will ask straightforward questions to spark and guide you. More deeply, it will ask you to look inside and act on this Great Work. In the state of body-mind-spirit wisdom we’ve cultivated so far, please ask yourself these questions:
Am I ready to lay aside old ways of seeing and doing things in order to try out this new path wholeheartedly, at least temporarily?
Am I ready to sit in the unknown and allow the known to come forward in its own time, without rushing it?
Am I ready to tolerate some possible confusion, even frustration, as this new way of seeing and doing things takes shape?
If I am used to relying on my intuition, am I ready to welcome the practical onto my journey?
If I am used to being practical, am I ready to start reconnecting with my intuition?
If I become stuck, am I ready to reach out for help? (Remember your list of allies from the Bright Way Activity on page 18.)
If you answered yes to most or all of these questions, then you stand to get a lot out of our journey together. Learning new things and changing old habits can feel scary and uncomfortable. These feelings are actually auspicious signs showing that you’re growing, not simply retreading familiar ground. If you can embrace the above attitudes before we start, the shock of the new won’t be as severe and you’ll enjoy our trip far more.
If you answered no to any of these questions, I encourage you to come along anyway! Which of the questions can you say yes to? Every journey starts from somewhere. Welcome to this new way of life, and thank you for giving it a try.
Let Hildegard of Bingen be your ally going forward: “Dare to declare who you are. It is not far from the shores of silence to the boundaries of speech. The path is not long, but the way is deep. You must not only walk there, you must be prepared to leap.”
Arriving where I am today was a messy, long, exciting, excruciating, and ecstatic process, featuring major pitfalls. That’s because I navigated without a dedicated guide, piecing together wisdom from sources both ancient and modern; dear teachers; feedback from beloved students, collaborators, and friends; and assistance from the mystery that is life itself.
And here’s the most surprising thing of all: While I thought my biggest fear was of the unknown, of losing control, of being horrified by the darkness inside and around me, it turns out that darkness had been my friend all along. Darkness, my most cryptic ally, pointed me toward light and connection. Darkness showed me — and still shows me — the Bright Way.
Darkness Faced
What do I mean by “darkness”? I thought my darkness was my unspeakable fear that my life had no meaning. My nightmare that I was worthless unless I performed outstanding, heroic feats to justify my existence. My terror that perhaps I was not equipped to meet those challenges. I remember feeling literally dizzy with horror as those fears rose up to haunt me time and time again, undead and relentless. If you are experiencing any of these dreadful anxieties, I want to assure you right now that there is light at the end of the tunnel. But first we must face our darkness, face our unknown: redemption lies within. I am here with you, walking through these shadows, as we move toward a brighter path.
I
