wanted to be here.”
“Well, I appreciate it, but I'm all right.”
I took a deep breath. “Lindsay, have a seat.”
She slid onto the attractive light metal chair. “Sorry for screaming, but I didn't recognize you for a minute. I've never seen you dressed quite like that. And I didn't know your friend.”
It must have taken at least three Ativans to let Lindsay feel untroubled by the sight of Merv with his jaw around his ankles. I decided not to explain my outfit. I had no choice but to introduce Merv.
“Lindsay, meet Merv Morrison. He's with the RCMP.” Out of regard for our longstanding relationship, I didn't mention Merv's sick leave, nor did the words gall or bladder leave my lips.
Merv was already standing. Although maybe not breathing. Lindsay held out her slender hand and allowed it to be swallowed by Merv's. “Thank you for coming,” she said. “You must think I'm out of my mind.”
I was impressed. Not every woman can handle an introduction to a man after he has had an eyeful of her birthday suit. Of course, it could have been the drugs.
Merv said “holy shit” under his breath.
Someone had to show signs of intelligent life. I tried. “We should work out a plan for what to do until Benning's back behind bars where he belongs.”
She blinked. “What do you mean?”
I didn't think I'd been the least bit unclear.
“I mean, we want to make sure you are safe. You should stay somewhere else.” I did not mention Merv's theory about Benning being able to find out her address. I did not refer to the inside police connection. I did not describe what I thought Benning might do.
“What do you mean, back behind bars?”
I leaned over and put my hand on her shoulder. “Benning did escape. It took a while for the name to make the radio news.” Before I could add it was lucky she hadn't known that during her hour-long wait for our arrival, Lindsay slipped gracefully from the chair to the floor.
Merv said “holy shit” once more for good luck.
Merv deposited Lindsay on the sofa in the living room. But even after she lifted her head from the butter-soft leather, things continued to go wrong.
“It's okay,” I said, “we're here with you. Everything's going to be all right.”
“No. Nothing is ever going to be all right. Ever.”
“Sure it is. Every cop in town is on the lookout for him.”
Lindsay struggled to sit up. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. “Remember what happened to Rina? Living in that secure building. She thought she was safe. We're talking about a man who broke out of police custody. What could be more secure?”
“They'll get him. In the meantime, we'll stay with you. The police will be here soon, and we can move you to somewhere safer.”
“I'll never feel safe.”
“Sure you will. Once he's back in custody, they'll take extra measures. This can't last long. And we won't leave you alone.”
“Fight or flight, isn't that what they call our two basic reactions to fear? Well, I've had the flight reaction, and you know what, it's hell. I'm his prisoner. As long as he's breathing, my life is not worth living.”
“Your life is worth living,” Merv said.
“Merv's right, Lindsay. That's just your nerves talking. And I understand how you feel. But this isn't a typical situation here.”
“You do not know how I feel. You're so confident. So sure that things will be all right. You haven't lived in hell like I have. You can't even imagine what it does to your brain.”
“I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry.” She was right. Every now and then I give myself away. I know the theory about the effect of abuse on the personality. I just don't feel it in my bones.
“I'm not going on the run. I'll stay in my own home.”
“Holy shit.”
“Shut up, Merv. Listen, Lindsay, that would make a lot of sense, normally, but this situation is not normal.”
“I know. Ever since I met Ralph, my life has not been normal. And as long as he's alive, it won't ever be.”
“You won't be away long. This is just temporary. They'll have him back behind bars, and they'll throw away the key.”
“I'd give anything to believe that, Camilla. If he can escape from custody here, he can escape from a maximum-security institution. He can escape from anywhere. I'll never be safe. So I have to live my life anyway.” The fine chin seemed even more pointed. Her hazel eyes were steady and calm. She reminded me of some sweet sainted virgin, strolling serenely to her martyrdom.
“Fine.” I didn't mean fine at all. “But I'm staying with you.”
She shook her head. “You should use your time to boost the Crown's case. Plus, two small women, what could we do?
Neither one of us will have a chance.”
I hate this kind of thinking. But I had to admit Benning had at least one gun. Plus it had been less than nine months since I'd fought for my life with a killer. I wasn't sure how well I'd cope in the same circumstance. But it wasn't like I had a choice.
“Okay, there's safety in numbers. So we need reinforcements. Merv's here. And we can get other people. I think the danger period, if they don't pick him up first, will be in the night. Elaine will come over, for sure. What about if Alvin joins us until they capture Benning?”
Lindsay opened her mouth, but the strangled sounds came from Merv. “Alvin? That little peckerhead? I don't think so, Camilla.”
I always find myself defending Alvin from other people. “Alvin thinks the world of Lindsay. He'd lay down his life for her.”
“That Alvin is just so sweet,” Lindsay said. “But no one should put themselves at risk for me. I created this situation by getting involved with Ralph. I don't want to drag anyone else into it.”
Interesting. I thought I caught a glimpse of the woman Lindsay must have been in her pre-Benning life.
“Fair enough.” I played for time. “But have you even contemplated…” Before I had time to figure out what she should have contemplated, Merv stretched his long legs and stood.
“You can't defend yourself against someone like Benning. And you don't have to. This is not happening because of anything you did.” He looked way down at Lindsay. She tilted up at him. “I'll be here until you're safe,” he said.
It didn't matter what I thought. It didn't matter what I did. It didn't matter that I was there.
