The Icing on the Corpse. Mary Jane Maffini

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The Icing on the Corpse - Mary Jane Maffini A Camilla MacPhee Mystery

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she said.

      “Of course. Watch out for the salt truck!” Merging onto the Queensway with Elaine is not something I ever want to repeat. Thank God, we were just one exit away from the Vanier parkway.

      “You're not the easiest person to drive with, Camilla. You know that? It's your tendency toward theatricality.”

      “No doubt you're right.” I pulled myself up from where I'd slid under my seat belt. “And so the plan for the sculpture hasn't changed?”

      “No. Why should it?”

      Why I was so worried? After all, how much of a problem could a sculpture be? A bit of art. A spin to Montreal to some retrospective at the musée? No big deal. Especially if I drove. Alvin's collision with the wrought-iron gates of Rideau Hall meant my car was out of commission, but I could rent. Problem solved. I felt flooded with relief, in part because we were already off the Queensway.

      “Camilla? Are you listening? Why should it?”

      “No reason. Just asking. Elaine. Red light. Red light! Oh, well.”

      “Hey, you don't like it when I slam on the brakes, so you'll have to control yourself if we're in an advanced yellow light stage when we reach an intersection. Okay?”

      If we hadn't immediately accelerated to seventy, I would have removed myself from the SUV at this point and finished the conversation by phone.

      “Okay?” Elaine is not one to give up.

      “I'll try to control myself if you try to stop for red lights.”

      “You never let go, do you? So anyway, for the sculpture, tonight's the night.”

      “Great.”

      “I hope it warms up a bit,” she said.

      “Well, what difference does it make?”

      She gave me a bit of a strange look.

      “Please keep your eyes on the road.” I watched as a pedestrian dove into a snowbank.

      “We'll meet in Confederation Square.”

      “What?”

      “We'll meet in Confederation Square at seven, I guess.”

      “Call me crazy, but given the winterness of it all, why don't we meet inside?”

      “Why would we meet inside?”

      “Because it will be cold outside?”

      “And where will we build the sculpture?”

      Almost blew my cover. “Oh, right.”

      “Exactly.”

      “Hmmm.”

      “Confederation Square, seven o'clock. Bring your own bucket.”

      I hardly noticed the rapid approach of the bus.

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      “Relax, we owe her big-time. She drove me here to pick you up and waited patiently for the cops to finish with you, hours might I add. Plus she made a few effective phone calls on your behalf, or you might have been spending the night. Aren't you happy to get out of here?” I said as I accompanied Alvin through the foyer of the Leomont Building under the watchful eye of security.

      “What? Are you deranged? It doesn't matter whether I'm happy, I won't do it.” Alvin's ponytail flipped in protest.

      “Alvin, let's settle this here. I don't want to argue in front of Elaine, who is doing you a favour. I thought you liked her.”

      “I do like her, but this has been a crappy day for me, and I'm not going to spend the night in the park.”

      “No buts, Alvin.”

      “Plenty of buts. I have been grilled by the Gestapo. My name will be on file forever. If I drop a candy wrapper on the street, I'll probably serve hard time. Of course, my name was already on file with the Ottawa police. Let's see. Why would that be? Oh yes, that was a result of another one of your great ideas, Camilla. So, I think I've done enough for you and Justice for Victims today. And if Lindsay's safe, I want to relax. I don't need to work overtime.”

      “You do now.”

      “It's bad enough I'm still out in public in your clothes. Here, take your stupid hat back. All I want to is to go home and forget all about today.” His pointed nose was aimed at the ceiling, always a bad sign. “And what's more, you had no business telling Elaine I would help out with this project.”

      I couldn't tell Alvin I had no recollection of volunteering either of us to work on an ice sculpture for Winterlude. None. It was hard to explain, but Elaine can have that effect. “Lighten up, Alvin, it should be a lot of fun.”

      “If it's so much fun, don't let me deprive you of any of it.”

      “Listen, Alvin…”

      “The last time I listened to you I had my nose mashed against the gate at 24 Sussex. Then I met two large Mounties with small brains and big guns. I don't think I'll listen again. Thanks anyway.”

      I decided it was better not to mention that Alvin's copious nosebleed after the accident had spelled the end of my parka. “Wait a minute. I thought you wanted to help Lindsay.”

      “I did want to help Lindsay. But I'm not sure how much it helped her to toss me to the wolves.”

      “I'm sure Lindsay will appreciate what you did. It was your way to combat Benning. And that's what this ice sculpture event is all about. You have to admit it's a worthwhile cause. Women Against Violence Everywhere plans to raise awareness of issues of domestic violence with it.”

      “Raise this.” Alvin lifted his skinny middle finger.

      Seven

      It was pushing five thirty and dark again when Elaine dropped me at my apartment building. My lousy mood was compounded by the fact that Elaine and Alvin had sulked all the way to Alvin's place. But that was small potatoes compared to the fact that Ralph Benning remained on the loose.

      Since I hadn't eaten all day, my plan was to snatch a bite, take a quick bath, then toss a few essentials into a suitcase. With Benning still at large, Merv and I would take shifts on alert throughout the night at Lindsay's. I didn't see how Benning could get past the police guard, but if he was going to make an attempt, he'd almost certainly do it in the dead of night. Having to do guard duty at Lindsay's relieved me of ice sculpture commitments, but it would take more than that to let me relax.

      I skulked into the elevator and headed for the sixteenth floor.

      Some people you don't want to run into after a hellish day. My neighbour, Mrs. Parnell, is at the top of the list. Mrs. Parnell had not learned to mind her own business in the first seventy-seven years of her life, and I didn't have

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