Sex and Belonging. Tony Schneider

       Preface

      Scientists prefer explanatory models that are simple with few variables. Psychologists prefer more comprehensive models that allow them to better describe and understand clients’ behaviour. In this book, I describe a model that is no doubt too complex for scientific modelling but hopefully provides psychologists with a useful map to understand sexual behaviours.

      The ‘sex drive’ has long been seen as one of the most powerful drives directing human behaviour, and played a key role in Freud’s psychoanalytic theory. I argue that the ‘sex drive’ is better understood as a composite of drives including both biological and subjective factors. Its composition will vary between people and over time. However, such a conceptualisation does not in any way diminish the power it has in human affairs. Equally influential in directing human behaviour are the twin notions of attachment and belonging, which guide relationship dynamics. The various neuro-chemicals activated in the sexual response represent a powerful reward system in their own right; but when these interact with relationship dynamics, their centrality in human affairs becomes so much greater.

      I present in this book a theoretical argument, research findings, and clinical narratives to develop and illustrate a dual-source, multiple drive model that integrates the various factors that can affect sexual relationships. Such a model needs to meet a number of criteria. As is evident in the various narratives, the model needs to allow for intra-psychic conflict as well as external (social) conflict. It needs to allow for fluidity in sexual behaviour patterns, yet recognise the inherent stability of such patterns once established (this being a function of the particular outcomes of sexual expression). It also needs to reflect the non-deterministic nature of sexual behaviour (that is, the decisional process).

      The composite of drives in sexual relationships is not only powerful, but also complex, and various conflicts easily develop. Conflict can exist in the drive profile itself, with inhibitive and sexually activating drives operating simultaneously. But conflict can also exist between the ascending drives and the ultimate decisions made. This decisional process makes prediction and scientific investigation in general, difficult. Then there is also the matter of a potential conflict between the sexual behaviour embraced and the prevailing sociocultural sexual scripts. Furthermore, conflict can occur where the outcomes of sexual expression do not meet the goals of the prevailing drives, and conflict can arise where the physical self and the subjective self is not aligned. (Similarly, the sexual and relational selves may not be aligned.) Although such conflicts in themselves do not constitute mental health problems, their lack of satisfactory resolution over time certainly can lead to such problems. On the other hand, where the sexual behaviour aligns with secure attachment and belonging, where there is good intra-psychic alignment, and where sexual behaviour conforms to sociocultural norms, good mental health outcomes would normally be anticipated.

      Moreover, to the degree that the drive profile can fluctuate,

Скачать книгу