running down the little boy’s face.
“What’s wrong, Michael?” she asked.
“Nobody shook my hand,” he said with a sniff. Sister shook his hand.
Words from on High
The junior-high students were in their classroom practicing a song for Mass. They sang, “Is there any word from the Lord?” A second later the principal’s voice sounded over the PA system: “Good morning, teachers, girls, and boys. Today I would like to say a few words to you about snow.”
The Mute Button
During a rather long homily at a school Mass, a boy in the front row of Sister’s class was talking. To avoid a commotion, Sister whispered to the child sitting beside her, “Go up there and tell him to stop talking.”
The child dutifully walked down the aisle and stopped in front of the lectern. Looking up at the priest, he declared: “Sister said you should stop talking.”
Liturgy Pageant
A deacon was giving the homily at a school Mass. He pointed to the stole crossed over his left shoulder and questioned, “Does anyone know what this means?” Immediately a first-grade girl raised her hand. Sister whispered to her, “Put your hand down. You don’t know.”
“Yes, I do,” the girl declared.
“No, you don’t,” Sister argued.
“Yes, I do,” the girl insisted.
The deacon said, “Little girl who’s making such a fuss, what does this stole mean?”
Loud and clear the girl proclaimed, “Miss America!”
Hearing Things
The school was gathered in church waiting for Mass to begin. One of the fourth-graders walked back to her teacher and held out a ring. She said, “Sister, someone left this in the first ‘pewk.’ ”
Father’s Little Confessor
Before an early morning Mass, the priest — a friend of Sister Kathleen — was waiting for the missing altar server. Just as Father was about to walk into the sanctuary, the tardy lad appeared.
“Well, you can just join the congregation now,” the priest said to the server.
“But, Father,” the boy remonstrated, “who will wash you of your iniquity and cleanse you of your sin?”
4. Sacraments and Sacramentals
“Sister, is my medal blessed, or must I take it home and soak it in holy water?”
Education Gap
In preparing her second-graders for the Sacrament of Reconciliation, Sister Karlene taught them about penance. She explained, “Father might say to you, ‘For your penance, say five Our Fathers.’ ”
After the students filed out of the room, one little boy remained at his desk crying. When Sister asked the reason for his tears, he sobbed, “I only know one Our Father, not the other four.”
Saturated with Grace
At a religious-goods sale, a second-grader bought a medal on a chain. Concerned that it be a real sacramental, he asked, “Sister, is my medal blessed, or must I take it home and soak it in holy water?”
Branded
A new fourth-grade student, who had never experienced Ash Wednesday before, nervously asked his teacher, “Are the ashes hot?”
Future Priest
Father was having Benediction for the school. When it was time for the blessing, the inexperienced altar boy did not move to get the cope.
“The cope,” Father prompted.
The boy walked over to the cope, picked it up, and wrapped it around his own shoulders.
A Lesson That Got Home
Mr. and Mrs. Brown took turns driving the sisters to teach CCD on Saturdays. One morning Mrs. Brown told this story:
She and Mr. Brown were having a discussion. At one point, the conversation was becoming a little heated. Suddenly, little Suzie, who had recently made her First Confession, interrupted.
“Daddy,” she said, “now you apologize to Mommy!”
Quite taken aback, Mr. Brown asked, “Why?”
Suzie explained, “Because you started an argument with Mommy.”
Mr. Brown then apologized. But little Suzie was not going to let her father off so easily. In a serious tone she continued, “Daddy, you know it’s not enough to just say you’re sorry. You have to try really hard never to do it again.”
“That does it,” said Mr. Brown. “Next week the sisters walk to school!”
According to Hoyle
The confirmandi had been told that during the ceremony they were to hand their name cards to the priest next to the bishop and he would return them. The first child stood before the bishop and was solemnly confirmed, but the assisting priest failed to return his card. Determined to follow the rubrics, the lad informed the priest and everyone within hearing, “But Sister said you should give it back to me.”
Smart Girl
Sister Marthe overheard some children acting out a wedding. The priest asked the bride, “Do you take him for better or worse?”
“For better,” the little girl said quickly.
The priest continued, “For richer or poorer?”
“For richer,” stated the miniature bride.
Giving Credit Where Credit’s Due
Three-year-old Jonathan came in to talk to Sister Joann, while his father, another teacher, was working in his classroom. Jonathan confessed to Sister that right before they came, he had not obeyed his parents. They were very angry and were going to spank him, but they didn’t.
“My, you were lucky!” Sister commented.
“Lucky! Not lucky! I was blessed!” Jonathan immediately corrected.
A Mystery
The fourth-graders were reviewing the mysteries of the Rosary. When they got to the sorrowful mysteries, Sister called on a child to name the fourth mystery.
