Clueless in Galilee. Mac Barron

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and there’s a choice before you to dwell on how something isn’t fair or how the world sucks or what you ought to say to that coworker next time he leaves the little plastic peel-off membrane from his yogurt on the counter — simply dwell on the lovely and gracious.

      It’s not rocket science.

      There, I just saved you the $2,500 you were going to drop at that Tony Robbins seminar you were thinking about attending. Why don’t you use just a fraction of that and buy a few more copies of this book to give to friends and family? And get me a CARAMEL macchiato!

       At Least Put on a Tie

       Matthew 22:1–14

      And again Jesus spoke to them in parables, saying, “The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who gave a marriage feast for his son, and sent his servants to call those who were invited to the marriage feast; but they would not come. Again he sent other servants, saying, ‘Tell those who are invited, Behold, I have made ready my dinner, my oxen and my fat calves are killed, and everything is ready; come to the marriage feast.’ But they made light of it and went off, one to his farm, another to his business, while the rest seized his servants, treated them shamefully, and killed them. The king was angry, and he sent his troops and destroyed those murderers and burned their city. Then he said to his servants, ‘The wedding is ready, but those invited were not worthy. Go therefore to the streets, and invite to the marriage feast as many as you find.’ And those servants went out into the streets and gathered all whom they found, both bad and good; so the wedding hall was filled with guests.

       “But when the king came in to look at the guests, he saw there a man who had no wedding garment; and he said to him, ‘Friend, how did you get in here without a wedding garment?’ And he was speechless. Then the king said to the attendants, ‘Bind him hand and foot, and cast him into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’ For many are called, but few are chosen.”

       The Setup

      Basically, Jesus is retelling the parable of the vineyard, but in the context of a wedding banquet. Why does he tread this ground again? Maybe he focus-grouped the vineyard parable and got some feedback about folks being put off by the concept of land ownership. Maybe Peter pulled him aside and said, “Teacher, John’s having a really hard time staying off the sauce; can we maybe not talk so much about vineyards?” Or maybe he’s God and knows better than you, so stop criticizing!

      Actually, he’s addressing some Pharisees and experts of the law who have come to catch him saying incriminating things. This parable sticks out in my mind because it ends on such a seemingly merciless note: wedding guests not dressed properly get thrown out into the street.

       What Went Down

      Game of Thrones, indeed! And you thought the parable of the vineyard was juicy. This one has a feast, a king, murder, burning whole towns, and weeping … and gnashing of teeth … always with the gnashing of teeth!

      Have all those people who talk about Jesus being super love-hippie-dippie-flower-power-buddy-Jesus ever read this parable? This is some dark stuff. People get murdered. Towns get destroyed. People get thrown out of parties! That’s not exactly feel-good Sunday school material.

       The Takeaway

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