Accompanying those with Same-sex Attractions. David Prosen

       II

       The Root of the Church’s Divide

      For years we’ve been bombarded with messages in our culture from activists and those who identify as LGBT. These messages have caused much confusion. Sadly, this confusion has seeped into our Church. I’ve seen well-intentioned priests with a strong desire to welcome those who identify as LGBT abandon the Church’s teachings on chastity — teachings that apply to all Christians. These shepherds believe that loving and welcoming people with same-sex attractions in the Church means brushing aside or even outright ignoring her teachings.

      Yet a growing number of Catholics who experience and/or struggle with same-sex attractions don’t identify as LGBT. We’re not the loud voices heard in the media today. Instead, we’re usually the quiet whispers heard in the confessional, those who come to our local parish seeking spiritual direction, advice, or support. We are striving to follow the Church’s teachings on sexuality and to pursue wholeness through holiness by growing in virtue. There is joy in this and, ultimately, we’re talking about growing closer to the Creator of the universe, our heavenly Father.

      Sadly, many of us in the Church who experience same-sex attractions feel isolated and alone. As we live — or attempt to live — a chaste life, we find ourselves ridiculed for doing so. Yes, many do not speak about their struggle for fear of being condemned. Yet, there are also a number of those who don’t speak about their struggle for fear that they will be told they are wrong to live a chaste life. It can be very discouraging and scandalous to be told by a priest or lay leader that the Church is wrong on the topic and may soon change her position. Sound extreme? This has happened, and some have left the Church as a result.

      Our culture loudly proclaims that the truths upheld by the Church about human sexuality (and homosexuality) are harmful. We’re told Church teaching causes emotional pain and contributes to suicide. Sadly, there are some who have felt suicide was their only option and have acted on this, after feeling rejected by family or society. But such rejection of a person with samesex attractions is not what the Church teaches. That is a tragic misrepresentation of the Church’s position. In fact, my own experience and that of many others show that depression, despair, and suicidal thoughts are actually the result of living the LGBT life, not the fruit of trying to live by the Church’s teachings.