are members of a very diverse Church, and as such we are a diverse people. We are of different races and ethnicities; we’re located in the United States and in other countries around the world; we inhabit
different economic and educational tiers. While we come from unique backgrounds and have differing perspectives, there are three common threads that tie us together:
We are Catholic. We are lay Catholic women—cradle Catholics, converts, or reverts — who are faithful to the magisterium of the Catholic Church. We hold, believe, and practice all that the one, holy, Catholic, and apostolic Church teaches, believes, and proclaims to be true, whether from the natural moral law or by way of revelation from God through Scripture and Tradition. We strive to live out our faith in word and in deed in every aspect of our lives.
We are working. We earn a wage in addition to our responsibilities as mothers. Some of us work part time; some of us work full time. Some of us are freelancers or in-home daycare providers; some of us are executives, teachers, nurses, or retail employees. Some of us have spouses who work, and some of us are the primary breadwinners for our families while our spouse is in school or stays at home. Some of us are single, separated, divorced, or widowed. Some of us are working by choice, called by God to fulfill a specific vocation; some of us work because our income is necessary to support our families and meet our financial obligations.
We are mothers. Some of us are pregnant. Some of us have children by adoption. Some of us have one or two children. Some of us have three or more children. Some of us have children in heaven. Some of us have stepchildren. All of us recognize that our vocation as a mother is one of the most important jobs we will ever have.
We don’t compete with stay-at-home moms (SAHMs) — we complement them. We both have tremendously important responsibilities with equally difficult concerns and unique challenges. Some of us may transition over time depending on our season of life, whether that means going from a SAHM to working outside the home, or becoming a SAHM after many years of outside employment.
Much like the communion of saints, there is a whole community of Catholic working mothers out there who are walking a similar path, and it is out of their collective wisdom and sharing of experiences that this book was born.
I’ll talk more in depth about finding your community in chapter 11. But for now, let me reiterate: You are not alone.
Chapter 2
Our Sisters, the Saints
I’m the daughter of a working mother. My mother was, and still is, a teacher, and many times during my childhood she was the sole breadwinner for our family. Most of my female relatives work outside the home, and many of my elementary school teachers were working mothers.
I wasn’t raised Catholic, and working mothers were not unusual in the Protestant denomination I grew up in. As a child, I knew that some of my classmates had mothers who didn’t work outside the home, but my experience was such that I viewed SAHMs as the exception, not the norm.
Imagine my confusion, as a fairly new Catholic convert and new working mother, when I first encountered fellow Catholics who firmly believed that the teaching of the Catholic Church was that mothers shouldn’t work outside the home as a general rule. They believed that there may be extreme cases in which a mother who was widowed (or worse, divorced or unmarried) might need to work, but that those cases needed to be few and far between, and that the woman needed to find herself a Catholic husband as soon as possible so she could quit her job and raise her children.
Is this an accurate reflection of what the Church taught or teaches about working mothers?
Well, sort of … but not really.
The Church does teach that a father is obligated to support his family … but it doesn’t teach that only the father may or should support the family.
The Church does teach that a father should not force or pressure his wife to work outside the home, or expect that she will without discussing it with her … but it doesn’t teach that a wife must never work outside the home except in “extraordinary” circumstances, or must never desire to work outside the home.
The Church does teach that a mother should keep up a good home and raise her children properly … but it doesn’t teach that a mother can only do this if she doesn’t work outside the home.
The Church does teach that greed or selfishness should not cause parents to neglect their children … but it doesn’t teach that a mother who works does so due to motives of greed or selfishness.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church and papal encyclicals throughout history are great resources on the subject of working mothers. However, what I find most compelling in regard to this discussion is the lives of the saints, whom we are encouraged to emulate in our own lives.
Several biblical figures and saints were working mothers. They may not have been “working” in the sense that we know it today, where a mother typically leaves the house in the morning, works in an external location, and returns home every evening, but they worked nonetheless.
For instance, the woman described in Proverbs 31 had several occupations — even reading that chapter makes me tired! She “seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands” (31:13). She "considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard” (31:14). She “puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle” (31:19). She “opens her hand to the poor, and reaches out her hands to the needy” (31:20). She “makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers girdles to the merchant” (31:24). All that, and she looks to the needs of her household, including managing a staff of servants!
Priscilla and Lydia, two women mentioned in the New Testament, also may have been working mothers, although this is not explicitly stated. Priscilla was married to Aquila, and they worked together as tent-makers. Later, they traveled with the Apostle Paul. We don’t know if they had children, but I have found at least one icon that features Priscilla and Aquila as parents.2
“My job doesn’t interfere with my vocation, it wonderfully ties into and supports it. In the same way, my husband’s job supports his vocation of fatherhood. He makes sure it doesn’t get in the way by keeping strict working hours and setting limits with his bosses so they know that he won’t sell his soul and all of his waking hours to the office. His vocation of fatherhood is equally important to mine of motherhood. Yes, they look different, but this isn’t a concern that only occurs with working mothers. It just isn’t.”
— Amy G.
Lydia was a seller of purple cloth. It is speculated that Lydia was a widow, indicated by the fact that she was able to invite strangers — and strange men, at that — to reside in her home, a freedom unheard of for a single or currently married woman at that time. The Bible mentions that she had her “entire household” baptized — a household that may have included her own children (cf. Acts 16:14–15).
The communion of canonized saints also counts several working mothers among its number. One whom I only recently learned about is Saint Frances of Rome. An excellent patroness for the reluctant working woman, her dearest desire was to devote herself to religious life. However, her father commanded her to marry instead, and after a long interior struggle, she submitted her life to God’s
