his fist, and kicked him, while the bandit called out, “Save me, save me.” Upon hearing this Grandpa Liu was almost startled out of his wits, and hastily picking up a lamp, led the bandits into the room. There they saw a big fat monk, stark naked, on top of the bandit chief, beating him. The bandits had their spears and cudgels, and Lu Da, upon seeing these, let go the chief and got his monk’s staff from the bed. The men seeing his fierce bearing, all retreated, followed by Lu Da. Seizing the opportunity the bandit leader crawled to the door of the room, and walked into the yard. He soon found his unsaddled horse in the dark, broke off a twig from the tree, and jumped on the horse. He hit the horse with the twig but it did not move. The robber leader said to himself, “What a nuisance! Even the horse despises me!” He then realized that he had omitted to loosen the reins which were still fastened to the tree. He quickly snatched them, and the horse galloped away with him. As he passed through the gate, he cursed Grandpa Liu; saying, “You, old ass, need not hurry. Wherever you fly, I shall catch you.” He lashed the horse which carried him up the mountain. Grandpa Liu caught hold of Lu Da, saying, “Reverend, you have brought trouble to my home.”
“You cannot say that I have done something improper,” replied Lu Da. “Bring me my clothes, and when dressed I will talk with you.” This was done, and Grandpa Liu said, “I hoped you would be reasonable, and get him to change his mind. I did not expect you to assault him; he will now gather a large body of his men and come to kill us.”
“Grandpa, do not get excited, and I will tell you something,” replied Lu Da. “I am a Major, in the army of Grand Secretary Liang at Yanan Prefecture. I became a monk because I killed a man. You need not speak of these bandits, for I should not be afraid of two thousands of them on foot or mounted. If you do not believe me then pick up my monk’s staff and look at it.” A servant tried to lift the staff but he could not move it. Lu Da, however, picked it up in his hand, and whirled it round as though it were only a lamp wick made of rush.
“Reverend, you must stay here and protect us,” said Liu.
“That is needless talk because I will not go away.”
The farmer told his servants to bring more wine, but to be careful not to make the guest drunk.
“If I drink only a little wine, I can do only a small piece of business, but if I drink a lot, then I can do more,” said Lu Da.
On Mount Taohua, the principal head of the bandits was thinking of sending one of his men to inquire about his second-in-command’s marriage. When the armed bandits returned with a defeated appearance he asked why they were in such disorder, and they told him that their second-in-command had been defeated. At this he was surprised, but while he was listening to details, his assistant arrived. He noticed that he was not wearing the usual red cloth round his head, and that his green dress was in tatters. As he dismounted in front of the main building he called, “Elder brother, please save me,” and when he was asked for an explanation, he continued, “I went down the mountain to the village where Grandpa Liu lives, and found that the detestable old donkey had hidden the woman, and had got a big monk to be on the bed in her place. I was quite unprepared for attack, and when I groped my way to the bed, and touched him, he hit me with his fists, kicked me, and severely maltreated me. When my men entered the room he chased them out, and while this was happening I managed to get away. Elder brother, I want revenge.”
The principal bandit leader answered, “So, this is it! You rest indoors, while I go and seize this bald-headed thief.” He then commanded his men to get his horse ready. He mounted, and led his men down the mountain, who shouted as they went along. Lu Da was drinking wine, when a servant reported that the bandits were again approaching. “Keep cool!” said Lu Da, “I will knock them down, and you can tie them up and take them to the yamen. Let somebody bring my sword.” He then took off his long gown, tucked his short underclothing in his belt; put on his broad sword; he picked up the iron monk’s staff, and strode to the gate where he saw the bandit leader seated on a horse and holding a spear, surrounded by many torches. He heard him shout, “Where is that bald-headed donkey? Tell him to come at once as we must fight out the matter.” Lu Da was angry and abused him, “You dirty rascal! You shall certainly recognize me.” He then lifted his iron monk’s staff and whirled it round.
The leader of the bandits called, “The sound of your voice is familiar to me. What is your name?”
Lu Da answered, “I am none other than Major Lu Da, in the employment of Grand Secretary Liang. Just now, however, I am a monk called Lu Zhishen.”
The leader of the bandits laughed, and dismounted, and threw away his spear, knelt down, and making salutations said, “Is my elder brother quite well? I am aware that my younger brother felt the weight of your hand.”
As Lu Da suspected that was a trick he retreated several steps, and examined the man closely by the light of the torches. He then recognized him as a drill instructor who had often sold medicine on the streets, and was named Li Zhong, with a nickname “The Tiger Fighting General.” In those days the thieves did not consider it advisable to say “kneel down” in their band, so they used another expression, “Scissors and Brush”; as a kind of code. Li Zhong now arose and said, “Elder brother, why are you a monk?”
“I will talk that over with you indoors,” replied Lu Da.
When Grandpa Liu heard this he was afraid of more trouble, as he thought that they both were thieves. When Lu Da was inside, put on his clothes, sat at a table, and called for Grandpa Liu, the latter did not care to come. So Lu Da said, “Grandpa, you need not fear. He is my younger brother.” When Grandpa Liu heard this he was more confused: still he came forward, and sat on Lu Da’s left. Lu Da gave a résumé of how he had killed the Bully and afterwards entered a monastery where he became drunk on two occasions, had been expelled, and sent to Kaifeng.
Li Zhong explained that when he heard Lu Da had killed the butcher at Weizhou, he tried to find him. Hearing the police wished to arrest him, he also went away. He happened to pass near this mountain and was attacked by the bandits in charge of Zhou Tong, nicknamed “Little Tyrant”: but he repulsed them, so they invited him to join them as their leader.
“As things are like this you need not say anything about the bridal fiasco,” said Lu Da, “because if Zhou Tong had taken the girl, her father would have become a vagrant.”
Grandpa Liu was much pleased at this and ordered the servants to bring wine and food, and entertained his two guests well. He also ordered that each of the bandits was to have two small loaves of bread, two slices of meat, and a big cup of wine. Lu Da told Li Zhong to take the gold and silk, prepared by Grandpa Liu and give them back to “Little Tyrant.” Li Zhong asked both of them to come to the stronghold on the mountain and stay for a few days: this was agreed to. Sedan chairs were prepared for Lu Da and Liu, while Li Zhong rode his horse. It was daybreak, and upon arrival at the stronghold they entered the hall to discuss matters. Zhou Tong was sent for, but when he saw the monk he was angry, and said, “So my elder brother has not carried out my revenge, but asked the monk to come, and invited him to sit in the premier place.”
Li Zhong laughed, “This monk is the one who killed the Bully with three blows of his fist, about which I have told you many times.”
Zhou Tong rubbed his head and exclaimed, “Ai Ya!”55 He then knelt and saluted Lu Da, who returned the compliment, saying, “Pray excuse my intrusion.” They all sat down and Lu Da explained the position to Zhou Tong, advising him to break his engagement, and find a better girl. The wedding presents were handed to him. Zhou Tong agreed to this, and promised to let the matter drop, saying, “This is a vow taken with the breaking of an arrow.”
Grandpa Liu was satisfied and returned home while the bandits
