“The Glittering Time.” This book is meant to be a contribution to that goal as we enter The Glittering Time. May it be so.
—Sonnee Weedn, Ph. D. 2011
Preface
African American women hold a unique place in the history of the United States of America. The prejudice and discrimination they have experienced has been well documented and need not be reviewed here. Suffice it to say; overcoming the particular obstacles of racism and sexism, sometimes combined with poverty and poor educational opportunities, previously advertised as separate but equal, takes great courage, creativity, perseverance, and strength of character.
What is it within the characters of so many African American women that sets them apart and allows them to claim their destiny, bringing forth their particular gifts and talents in order to support themselves and contribute to their families and communities? There are likely to be many theories about this. However, in this book, I identified seven character strengths that are apparent to me in the development of African American women’s ability to thrive despite the challenges they experience as a result of being subject to the unique circumstances that are the historical legacy of all African American women today.
Women typically identify themselves in any number of ways. We are daughters, sisters, wives, mothers, teachers, cooks, nurses, and on and on. The titles and categories are endless. As children, we are full of possibilities and may grow up to embody any number of roles as we form our personalities. In this process of forming our adult identities we, hopefully, begin to see our characteristic strengths, combined with our particular gifts and talents.
Some women have had the good fortune to be able to nurture these strengths in ways that have allowed them to bring them to full fruition. For others, one or two of their strengths have been identified and utilized, while others are less well developed. Some women, though adults, are just beginning the process of self-awareness. Everyone starts somewhere.
This book is meant to honor all women, who despite many forward strides, still face discrimination in the workplace, and make up large numbers of the disenfranchised. However, this book is especially meant to honor and highlight the strengths of African American women, who have usually had to face the double discrimination of being female and black, and thus have had to work harder than their sisters of other ethnicities to rise to their full potential. They have much to offer all of us with their examples of faith and perseverance, as well as their sage advice.
It is my hope that this book provides you, the reader, whether you are African American, or not, the opportunity to think about your own characteristic strengths. In order to do this, I requested the help of the women you will read about in these pages. Each of them was generous with her time and her story, sometimes delving into material she had not previously discussed publicly. I am grateful for their assistance. Some of them have written books of their own, and if you are intrigued by their interviews here, I encourage you to get their books and learn more about them.
In addition, many men have expressed interest in this project. Men have much to learn from the women around them, who, so often have enhanced their lives in some supportive role, whether in the workplace or at home. So, I hope that my male readers are equally inspired by these stories.
The interviewees often had opinions about which of the seven strengths I identified most exemplified them. I often agreed with them. But, mostly I saw that each of them had all the strengths in some measure, and had really utilized them all to achieve their goals. Their wisdom, generosity of spirit, and amazing grace will be quite obvious to you as you review their unique stories and understand their contributions. They do, indeed, provide many blessings to the rest of us!
CHAPTER 1
Faith, Family, Fortitude, and Flexibility
There is an old proverb that says, “Be good to the women, for you will be under their hands at the time of your birth and, again at the time of your death.” Because, historically, it was often African American women who were midwives, as well as caretakers of the old and the sick, it is a saying that ought to especially apply to them. However, traditional American culture has not been particularly good to African Americans, in general, or African American women, in particular. And so, when these same marginalized women rise up and make important contributions to the larger community, it is a wonder and a blessing!
As I traveled around the country, talking to African American women of all economic, educational, and social strata, I began to have a deeper understanding of the various factors that had shaped them and allowed them to make the most of their particular gifts, despite overt and covert discrimination, and the despair that comes of internalized racism.
Certainly, every woman is unique. Her life circumstances and history belong to her alone. And yet, I found threads running through each story that wove them together in meaningful ways.
It is important to note that young people today never experienced law-enforced segregation, and have no real understanding of its meaning to those it was meant to hold back. This was so evident when I went to hear Melba Beals, one of the original nine students to integrate Central High School in Little Rock, Arkansas, speak at Dominican University. High school students in the audience responded to some of her stories of racial injustice by commenting that they would just never tolerate that kind of treatment if it happened to them. They seemed not to understand that resisting “that kind of treatment” could mean risking one’s life … or worse.
In addition, most young women I speak with have not experienced the spirit-deflating effects of overt sexist attitudes that barred women from many jobs, especially the higher paying ones, as well as equal treatment in the home and society as a whole.
As we begin the 21st century, these old attitudes of racism and sexism have certainly not been completely eradicated. Though we have come a long way, we have a long way to go.
Four fundamental values or attributes became apparent to me in the interviews and discussions I conducted with thirty accomplished African American women. Almost every woman spoke of her family’s deep, Christian faith. Most had been raised attending church services regularly, singing in the choir, or otherwise participating in a religious community. Bible verses were quoted as themes for many of their lives. Frequently, the women were still active members of congregations, though they may have branched out from the faith of their childhood to embrace other forms of spiritual practice that nourish their souls. Faith communities typically provide children with core values of kindness, compassion, and altruism. Most of the women I interviewed spoke of having been taught these values that are critical to a thriving, humane society. They are actively involved in the generous giving of their time and expertise in a variety of ways.
There is family. Not every woman came from a healthy, supportive family, but many did. If they were lucky enough to have this benefit, the family often didn’t just mean the immediate, nuclear family, but a patchwork of extended family made up of blood relatives, as well as those designated by mutual agreement as aunties, uncles, and cousins. In other words, they had a community of connection.
For those who had difficult family backgrounds, other forms of “family-style” relationships made the difference. This could be a 12-Step Fellowship, teachers who reached out, employers who empowered, helpers of one sort or another along the way. But, it certainly cannot be over-emphasized that a family who not only cares, but also holds its members accountable is invaluable.
Fortitude was evident in the lives of every woman I encountered. It takes strength and courage to face the hurdles and challenges presented to each of the women interviewed. If a woman came from a secure and educated family, she still faced the obstacles of the prejudice of the dominant culture,
