it, “The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is tenacity.”
J. K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series of books, conceived the idea for the series while on a delayed train; she also held on to her vision in spite of difficulties. In the seven years that followed her first having the idea, her mother died, her first child was born, she was divorced from her first husband, and she was then living on state benefits as a single parent. We know that it wasn't easy for her because she has been open about feeling a failure. She was diagnosed with clinical depression and even contemplated suicide. She kept going, however, until she finished her first novel. Several rejections didn't make her give up, and within five years she had become the success story that we all know about. Now a multimillionaire, she has a charitable trust with a mission to combat poverty and social inequality.
For each one of us facing doubts—head-on is the only way through them. Letting go of old patterns requires courage, but when we refuse to let fears, doubts, or rejections bring us down, and maintain instead a hopeful and positive attitude, the path forward becomes clearer. Expecting good things to happen while continuing on the path means we are more likely to be able to respond to the good that is all around us.
I have the will and determination to reach my goal and the strategy to get there.
I am committed to my vision of the future.
I maintain a positive and hopeful attitude and expect good things to happen.
2. Reminding ourselves of the heroism of others
One of the things that can really help us when coming up against setbacks, and perhaps grappling with doubts about achieving our goals, is to look at how others have coped in difficult situations. What kept them going when times were tough? How did they manage to summon up hope even in the most dangerous of circumstances?
Amanda Berry was one of three girls kidnapped and held captive for over a decade in a house in Cleveland. Repeatedly raped, psychologically abused, and threatened with death if she tried to escape, Amanda kept a secret diary that she later drew on to write her book Hope (together with Gina Dejesus). In it, she writes of trying to wire her mind to “focus on the hopeful thoughts, push out the negative ones.” While in captivity, she gave birth to a daughter, whom she tried to raise as normally as possible given the horrendous conditions of her captivity. She also made a promise to herself that when she was free, she would “live, laugh, love,” and remember every moment as a gift. “I am a believer in the power of hope…,” she wrote.
The young women escaped in 2013, and in May 2014 they were invited to Washington by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, an organization that helped the families of the three girls when they were abducted. They received the Hope Award, which is given every year to someone who inspires hope for missing children.
Although she may never know why what happened to her did happen, there is no doubt that the decade in captivity changed Amanda. She wrote that she was stronger and more aware of the importance of kindness. Above all, because she knows that life can change in seconds, her appreciation of the little things in life has become paramount. Ten years in the life of a young girl is a long time to keep hope alive, but Amanda's story shows what is possible in a seemingly impossible situation. We have a choice, whatever our situation, to choose how we respond, as the Dalai Lama reminds us:
We can let the circumstances of our lives harden us so that we become increasingly resentful and afraid, or we can let them soften us, and make us kinder.
The women of the Standing Rock Sioux Reservation in North Dakota are heroines who have not given up on hope. Resisting the construction of an oil pipeline that desecrated sacred burial and prayer sites and that threatened the water supply of the surrounding Native American community, these women have never given up hope in spite of being sprayed with tear gas and rubber bullets. Prepared to risk their lives, they have vowed to continue the strug- gle, believing that their ultimate weapon is prayer, as expressed here in this Pueblo prayer:
Hold on to what is good,
Even if it's a handful of earth.
Hold on to what you believe,
Even if it's a tree that stands by itself.
Hold on to what you must do,
Even if it's a long way from here.
We can empathize with these courageous women who have held on to their ideals, and we can see that our own lives need not be overcome by sorrow and despair. Other women's stories of the challenges they faced and how they held on to hope are an inspiration to us all.
I know I always have a choice in how I respond to life.
I remind myself that every moment of life is a gift.
I stand firm in my belief in what is good.
3. Believing in ourselves and the value of our experience
Sometimes we doubt that we have the requisite strength and ability to hold on to our vision. Occasionally, we beat ourselves up because we've fallen short of our ideals in some way or wandered off track, so cultivating self-belief is really important for us all.
We need to remember that we are each unique, with particular gifts we can put to use to achieve our goals. We will be better at some things than others, and it's okay to be gentle with ourselves rather than judgmental if there are some things we find difficult or if we slip up. Each one of us has something special that will serve us well, a talent that we can utilize both for our benefit and for the benefit of others.
When I visited Portland, Oregon, I was intrigued by a beautiful statue of Sacagawea, a Shoshone Indian woman who acted as interpreter on the Lewis and Clark expedition in 1804 to explore the lands beyond the Mississippi. This journey across the Great Plains, the Rocky Mountains, and the western rivers was an extraordinary feat of endurance, during the course of which they encountered subzero temperatures, blizzards, hunger, disease, mosquitos, and grizzly bears!
Captured as a young girl by a raiding party, Sacagawea was enslaved and ultimately purchased by a French fur trader who was hired by Lewis and Clark. Pregnant at the time, and the only woman on the expedition, she was taken along because she spoke Shoshone. Sacagawea proved to be an important asset, not least because she had incredible self-belief and was prepared to voice her opinion about issues such as where they should best spend the winter. Her experience as a Native American woman meant that she was invaluable in being able to search for edible roots and plants and make moccasins and clothing for the party. She has subsequently become an icon of courage for women.
Another inspirational example is Ann Davison, largely unknown these days because she was not as publicity seeking as some are. She was the first woman to sail single-handed across the Atlantic—3,310 miles from Plymouth to Antigua. What is remarkable is that this was her second attempt, her first having been disastrous. She and her husband had a series of financial difficulties, and deeply in debt, they had fled their creditors to avoid having their seventy-foot boat impounded. Beset by gales, their boat eventually smashed up on Portland Bill on the south coast of England. Ann's husband died, while she survived fourteen hours adrift on a life raft and was washed ashore. Few women would have wanted to attempt the crossing again, let alone on their own. Ann pulled her life back together, however, and in memory of her late husband,
