words’ is not a sentence.”
The monk countered, “Those six of words of mine together also make a sentence: ‘The thatched cottage door was closed when the words were written.’ Prime Minister, you have just lost the seat of your britches.”
Prime Minister Qin exclaimed, “Do not fool around, monk! I will now give you some words by splitting up the characters. If you match them, I will have lost ten thousand ounces of silver to you.”
The monk said, “That is also all right.”
The prime minister said, “The character for ‘ripe’ and the character for ‘finally’ together make the character for ‘intoxicated.’ The character for ‘eye’ and the character for ‘drop’ together make the character for ‘sleep.’ My sentences are: ‘The poet Li Taibo sleeps on the mountainside, holding his arms around a large jar of wine. He is not aware that he is asleep and he is not aware that he is rather drunk.’”
The monk drank a cup of wine and, laughing loudly, said, “Ha, ha! This is a good one to match. The character for ‘moon’ and the character for ‘increase’ together make the character for ‘extend.’ The character for ‘moon’ and the character for ‘half’ together make the character for ‘fat.’ My sentences are: ‘Madame Qin walks around the courtyard, holding her arms around her large stomach. She is not aware of how far it extends, and she is not aware that she is rather fat.’”
As the prime minister heard this, he shook his finger at the monk saying, “Do not make jokes, monk!” He thought to himself: “This monk is really mischievous. I will give him another set of words to match and let him know that Prime Minister Qin is a learned and elegantly literary man.” He searched his mind for something with an ornamental style, but with a hidden pearl of meaning. Then he asked, “How was it that, when the original Buddha released all other beings from bondage, he seemed to do just the opposite with the monks? Was that not a blunder?”
The monk replied, “Ah, Great One, that is really very good, but my mediocre talents are very shallow.”
Prime Minister Qin said, “Match it and I will have lost another ten thousand ounces of silver. If you cannot match it, I will tear down your memorial pagoda.”
The monk said, “Good,” and after drinking a cup of wine, continued. “I will give you a match. It is just as it is when the Son of Heaven takes up the jade lock and chain and places them about the neck of a great minister and commissions him as the prime minister. Again I have won ten thousand ounces of silver.”
Prime Minister Qin thought, “It is just as I expected. The monk is full of talent. I cannot win by matching words with him.” Then he said aloud, “Let us not match words any more. Let us try forfeits.”
The monk said, “If it is to be forfeits, we will do forfeits. The Great One has said it, so the Great One may start.”
The prime minister said, “I want to talk about two men of ancient times and two things. These two men were both quite fat. Their occupations were the same, but they had different opportunities. Therefore, in the picture, which we may now imagine, one is moving and one is still. If you also can describe such an imaginary picture, you will be the winner, and if you cannot, you will be the loser.”
The monk said, “Tell me more about your imaginary picture first, Great One.”
Prime Minister Qin said, “Monk, you must listen carefully. In the distance we see a tall shrine; in the foreground we see a water buffalo. Lu Dongbin is drunk and is sleeping in the Yueh Yang shrine. Sun Binjia is stealing a ride on the water buffalo.”
The monk said, “In the distance we see a hut; in the foreground we see a fish. Zhang Fei reflects in his hut; Ching De hangs up a fish by its heels.”
The prime minister said, “Monk, you have lost ten thousand ounces of silver. As for Zhang Fei reflecting in his hut, you may even say that Zhang Fei reflects in his hut three times over. But Ching De hangs up a fish by its heels! Where do fish have legs?”
The monk answered, “A fish may have all four legs if it is a griddle fish, and that is what we call the green turtle.”
Indeed, there was in that very room a griddle shaped like a turtle, with four legs and a turtle’s head and tail, commonly used over open fires; the green turtle had taken its nickname from such griddles. The prime minister was left with no further argument and again he admitted that the monk had won another ten thousand ounces of silver. Then he thought to himself, “I must still think of a way to triumph over him.”
Going outside, he said to the servant Qin An, “Take a gift presentation box and put into it some chilled gelatinous rice cakes. Then wait outside. The monk will be asked to guess what is in the box. If he guesses that the box has nothing in it, take the box of rice cakes and bring it in. If he guesses that the box has something in it, then you bring in the empty box.” Qin An nodded in assent.
The prime minister went back inside and said, “Monk, I have been wondering for a long time whether you could predict the past and the future. Therefore I have just sent a man to get a box, about which you may make a guess. Guess whether the box has anything inside or not. If you guess correctly, I will have lost another ten thousand ounces of silver. If you guess incorrectly, I will tear down your memorial pagoda.”
The monk said, “Great One, you are becoming too reckless.”
Prime Minister Qin said, “I am not taking reckless chances at all. I want to test your abilities.”
