of students identified relationships with school staff as an important influence on school violence.
The schools that participated in this study had a large minority population and a high percentage of students receiving free and reduced-price lunch. The students also lived in communities where violence occurred regularly, and certain groups of students even encouraged it. Students in these schools often felt peer pressure to be “bad.” In environments like this, students need warm and caring teachers who understand the challenges and social barriers with which these students contend. A lack of teacher-student relationships leads to disinterest in school and causes more disruptive behavior.
When students feel as if their teachers do not care, they disengage from school. The lack of teacher-student relationships permeates a negative school climate and results in poor student achievement. Lagana-Riordan et al.’s (2011) qualitative study uses interviews to examine students’ perspectives about their current alternative school as well as their former traditional school. The students interviewed in this study cite:
Poor teacher relationships as a major contributor to their lack of success in traditional schools. Many students felt that traditional school teachers were well-meaning but were overworked and had little time for individual attention. They attributed the lack of individual attention to teacher characteristics, such as uncaring attitudes, and to educational causes, such as large class sizes and overcrowded schools. Schools that fail to balance these challenges with individual student needs risk alienating the most vulnerable students. (p. 108)
Other students interviewed in this study felt labeled in their school environments or felt judged. For example, one student stated, “They only look at bad things you do. They do not look at good things that you do.” They repeatedly expressed discontent with the level of respect they perceived from adults: “In regular public schools one of their golden rules is ‘respect yourself and others,’ but most kids don’t get respect. They treat you like sheep that need to be herded. Everyone has to fit into the box” (Lagana-Riordan et al., 2011, p. 109). Although many students were quick to point out a single teacher who seemed to care for them, they expressed that most relationships with teachers were impersonal (Lagana-Riordan et al., 2011).
These research studies are significant because they stress the importance of displaying caring attitudes and behaviors. Teachers and administrators have a tremendous load of administrative tasks to handle, and some may be especially hard-pressed to devote individualized, caring attention to students. A former student of mine held a similar view.
What It Looks Like in the Real World
As an assistant principal, I had a sophomore named Eddie. Eddie was Caucasian and stood about five foot six with long, stringy, greasy hair. He wore an unbuttoned flannel shirt and a black T-shirt underneath, pants hanging way below his waist, and untied sneakers. Eddie had a grade point average of 1.3 and seemed uninterested in doing well in school. He was notorious for cutting class, roaming the halls, and avoiding relationships with staff.
After the dean issued a plethora of consequences to address these issues, Eddie’s behavior did not change. The frequency of his infractions, which ranged from tardiness to disrespectful language, increased. Eddie was referred to me with the hope that I could make some progress.
After looking over his file, I called him into my office. Eddie insisted that he wasn’t going to talk to me, that I was like all of his other teachers who had failed to “get inside his mind.”
“It sounds like quite a few people care about you,” I told him.
“No, they just want to control me,” he said.
“What do you mean that they want to control you?”
“They just want me to stay out of the halls and sit in these boring classes, or refer me to the dean so I can sit and listen to lectures about how my life won’t amount to anything if I don’t straighten out my act.”
“Well, since you don’t like to sit and listen, let’s do the exact opposite and let’s walk and talk,” I suggested. “I would really like for you to help me help you. Since you like walking the halls so much, let’s take a walk around the school and get to know each other better while everyone else is in class.”
We left my office and began walking side by side down the long hallways of commercial square tiles.
“It looks like people have been trying to work with you to help you do better in school,” I said.
“They don’t care about me” was his curt reply.
“What do people have to do to let you know that they care about you?” I asked. “The reason I’m asking is because we’ll be holding grade-level meetings when we return from Christmas break after first-semester finals. I’ll be the speaker and facilitator. I know there are a lot of students who feel the same way you do. What can I or other teachers do to show you that we care about you?”
Eddie and I walked through the entire school, up and down the halls and the stairs, back and forth through the cafeteria and the gym for an entire class period while I listened to his response. In the process, I learned that Eddie was a very bright young man. He shared with me that his family had recently moved to the area and that he missed his friends and his previous school and teachers. He said he used to be a straight-A student and never got in trouble at his old school. Eddie told me in different words some of the same evidence I have already cited. He shared that his old teachers set high expectations for him and that he was pushed to participate in class and to try his very best. He spoke with sincerity about the passion that he felt his old teachers had for him to succeed.
“My teachers at my old school know all about my family problems,” Eddie told me. “They were really good at understanding me and showing me that they cared about me. They did everything they could to help me get better grades and understand what they were teaching.
“I used to love that school and even stayed after to get extra help when I needed it,” he continued. “I knew what to expect every day. They would always tell me that the reason it’s important to do well in school is so that I can eventually do better in life to improve my living conditions. In this school, teachers don’t take the time to help me or get to know me. They just expect me to do what they say without explaining nothing!
“It’s not fair that kids get the same grades whether they hand in their work late or on time,” he added. “Some kids get in trouble for doing the same thing someone else did who didn’t get in trouble. This place isn’t fair, and it’s like hypocrites walking all around.”
Eddie clearly was telling me that the school had failed in showing that we cared and failed at creating a warm and caring environment to produce student achievement.
“What can we do to change this, and how can I motivate you and other kids like you to get back on track?” I asked Eddie. “How can I send this message when I talk to the students?”
“When you talk to us, you have to say something we can feel in our heart,” he replied. “Talk to us about how you understand us. It’s good to tell us the rules and stuff, but let us know that if we work hard we’ll be rewarded. You have to let us know that you care.”
Eddie let me know in an authentic way that there was a lot of work that needed to be done to improve the school’s climate and show students that we really cared about them. As one of the school leaders, I felt responsible for Eddie’s failure. I asked myself, “How could he be doing so good at one school and then transfer here and struggle so much?” At this time, in addition to having some family problems,
