of us don't need to hold on to love to push us through agonizingly tragic circumstances. A great deal of what we consider unbearable is really just highly unpleasant, at worst. But just because we don't need the full power of love doesn't mean we can't benefit from it: love isn't just something we want to secure for ourselves— it's something that can help pull us outside of ourselves. I know that I've felt my lowest and emptiest often when I was drowning in my own self-involvement—all the things I thought I needed and my immense frustration over how unlikely it seemed that I would ever get them.
Most of them weren't even slightly important in the grand scheme of things. And bemoaning how I didn't have them just distracted me from appreciating all the things I did have—those little things Frankl dreamed about when he was pushing toward his uncertain future: meaningful relationships, the freedom to enjoy them, and the power to make a positive difference in other people's lives. No matter the event, it can become meaningful if it somehow helps other people. All we need is love, but not as something we wait to receive—as something we repeatedly make and share.
FIND MEANING THROUGH SHARED LOVE.
If you feel like you aren't finding the love that you seek:
Identify who you can help because of what you've experienced. Are you more insightful because of your struggles, enabling you to be more sensitive to other people? Can you write a blog post or an article to help people at large? We are all in this together, and everything that happens to one person ripples to affect others. If whatever happened hasn't affected you in a positive way, how can you filter that through your love so that it can be a positive for other people?
Focus on what other people mean to you and what you want to mean to them. If this were your last day on Earth, what would you tell the people you love about what they've meant to you? Now, actually tell them today. What difference would you want them to feel you've made in their lives? Would you want them to feel you helped encourage them to go after their dreams? Or motivated them to be good to themselves? Or helped them discover their purpose? What can you do today to create that impact in their lives?
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