told me as he looked at me directly. “It’s about how you feel and about being healthy and fit.”
“It’s about losing weight,” I said. “Like about twenty pounds.”
I had already searched the internet and found that weight gain was a common side effect of working out for the first time. So I told myself I’d be okay with this for now and see how it went.
Those first mornings on my own on the treadmill seemed pointless. I wore baggy sweatpants and an oversize T-shirt. I brought a mug of coffee. And everything hurt. Adorable told me to go at any pace as long as I got in at least two miles. That was about 90 minutes of walking. It took me nearly 45 minutes to walk a single mile.
At first, I watched the news on the big screens in the second-floor training rooms, but as I upped my speed and my distance, I turned to the playlists on my iPhone for inspiration.
I went to R & J Sports in Bethesda, and they put me in Brooks running shoes that were, I’m not exaggerating, like walking on a cloud. They also sold me a pair of ultrathin Balega socks that absolutely do not slip, so I finally said goodbye to two blistering blisters. I picked up some Under Armour slightly fitted short sleeve T-shirts that didn’t stick to me, as odd as that sounds. For my legs, even now I am convinced my Lululemon yoga pants are the best things on the planet. I read about the controversy over those pants a few years ago, but there is simply nothing like them. Even now I rinse them out more frequently than I’d like, but remember I was working with Adorable, who stood very close to me for 60 minutes and stared at every move I made.
I suspect it’s an occupational hazard for trainers if they’ve got to work that closely with people who do not rinse out their yoga pants.
At one of our earliest sessions, Adorable asked me if I felt the burn after we did 20 reps focusing on my glutes.
“What would make you think I wouldn’t feel the burn?” I asked.
“Just checking.”
Adorable told me some clients prefer that he count every repetition aloud. We didn’t work that way. I’d usually ask him where we were when I thought I was out of oxygen. My favorite words: “Five more.” My least favorite: “Eleven more.”
When we were focusing on my core, wherever that was, I looked over at Adorable, and I’m sure he was thinking he was glad the Equinox Fitness Training Institute includes CPR certification. As good as he is, it would probably not be helpful to his career to kill one of his clients.
There was a session around that time where it was all I could do to keep from throwing up right there in the gym. I struggled on the drive home, and when I arrived at my house, I wasn’t sure if I should call 911.
But that night I went to sleep and felt fine when my alarm went off at 5:00 a.m. I walked into my gym clothes with that sense of euphoria that you read about. I am on the other side of this.
That was when we began to have regular discussions about the difference between pain and burn. There was no safe answer to his question, “Are you feeling pain or burn?” If I said pain (especially if it related to my lower back), we would simply stop immediately and move to that horrible machine that works your lower back until you feel the burn.
Day 2, March 31, 2014
“Yeah baby, it hurts a bunch
The girls got going and we had a munch
I promise on a dime, it’s the last time
I’ll never have a liquid lunch.”
—Caro Emerald, “Liquid Lunch”
I tried to cram in as much cardio as I could this morning. I would have done more if I didn’t need to shower and dress for work. I walked nearly four miles on the treadmill; for the first three miles I was walking briskly at 3.6 MPH, and for the last almost-mile, I walked at 3.7 MPH. After the treadmill, I did five minutes on the arm bike, which was all I had time for, but more importantly, it was as much as I could take.
Most of this morning’s music came from my Ladies Night mix, the one I’m compiling in anticipation of my annual Ladies Night Out in December. I came across “Liquid Lunch” by Caro Emerald from The Shocking Miss Emerald album. I must have Shazamed it when I was shopping for my nieces and nephews during the holidays at H & M in Georgetown. And this one: “You Just Don’t Love Me” from David Morales. Shameless techno club pushed me through my last six or seven minutes.
I’d gotten in the habit of bringing my coffee with me to the gym in the mornings. This started when I was taking yoga classes at six o’clock in the morning. I know it’s not very Zen to have coffee in the studio or very smart to hydrate with coffee during cardio workouts, but at least in those early weeks the coffee kept me from sliding off the back of the treadmill. My childhood BFF Ken Levitan, the country music mogul and foodie in Nashville, will appreciate this, because he was the one who told me he knows how to sneak coffee into the Ashram in Los Angeles. My apologies if it wasn’t you, Ken. I wouldn’t want to get you in trouble.
After work, I took a yin yoga class with Christopher Brown. Yin is my favorite yoga practice, and I look forward to taking this class whenever possible. We hold poses deeply and for a long time, so you can feel the stretch in the joints as well as in the muscles. Christopher says to find the place between too much and not enough first physically and then mentally, and stay there. It’s so interesting how different my mind works when I’m in the zone during a training session versus being completely present during a yin practice. As a type-A New Yorker, it took a significant effort to get the “being present” concept in yoga. When I’m in the zone during a training session, my mind goes to the strangest kaleidoscopic mix of places—from the Clinique counter at Lord and Taylor to any aisle at Strosniders hardware store.
Nutrition
Pre-cardio: one half Ozery Onebun (wholegrain) with Smart Balance margarine and orange marmalade
Breakfast: whole wheat English muffin with a dollop of fat-free cottage cheese
Morning snack: fat-free Greek yogurt and berries
Lunch: salad with homemade baked tofu and a sliced apple.
I’m going to date myself here to share my secret for baked tofu, which comes from the original Moosewood cookbook. If you’re in a hurry, which I frequently am, you can just slice the tofu (I use lite extra firm when I can find it, otherwise, regular extra firm) and marinate it for at least 30 minutes in the Moosewood concoction or your own sesame/soy mixture. Most of the time, if I’m taking this approach, I prefer Soy Vay Hawaiian style. Just cover the bottom of a lasagna pan with a small amount of the marinade and let the tofu slices sit for 30 minutes (flipping the pieces over after 15 minutes). Then bake in a 350-degree oven for 30 minutes. Once cooled, you can transfer to a storage bowl and keep in the fridge for a few days. The slices make great sandwiches with light mayo and lettuce and tomato on pita or whole wheat or tossed in salads.
Afternoon snack: Nutrigrain bar (yeah, I know I can do better than that) and a cup of green tea.
Dinner: Because by now it was nearly 9 p.m., I passed on the impulse to pour a bowl of cereal. I had a piece of grilled fish and some roasted cauliflower and Brussels sprouts left over from the weekend.
My plan was to get on the scale in a few days, so I was crossing my fingers that the numbers would go down or at least not up.
Day
