up your atmosphere.”
—Flo Rida, “Club Can’t Handle Me”
The fifty-nine-year-old writer in the More magazine feature training at the San Francisco Equinox talked about how out of place she felt among the otherwise well-dressed, well-appointed, and well-preserved men and women working out around her. What got me when I looked around the training room in Bethesda was not so much how out of style I felt—although there was that—it was how out of step I was. Right from the treadmill, where serious people-watching is matched only by passing an afternoon at a Parisian café, I was impressed by the large number of clients working with trainers and on their own to maintain their physical health. Sure, there were a few like me who were starting at square one, but remarkably few. I began to recognize Adorable’s clients, since he would greet them warmly while he was working with me, and later, when we saw each other on our own, we would share a pleasantry. We were all writing the same page from a similar chapter in our unique personal stories.
Triathlete was getting ready to train for a race over the summer, and she casually began to plan her workouts and diet. She had done this before, so she was in a position where she could afford to let her discipline slide. I wasn’t so slick. Over the years I had let everything go, and I knew I was looking at months of meticulously scheduled workouts. I felt defeated when Adorable stopped me after five reps when I wanted to do ten more. He didn’t do it often, but when he did, I got the message.
“Why are you being so hard on yourself?” Triathlete asked me.
“Look at all this time and work ahead of me,” I said. “I’m so stupid.”
Nutrition
It wasn’t a great food day. During our early morning session Adorable had pointed out that without something to burn, without fuel, I’d poop out, which I did. I’m sure he used a more scientific description to make his point, but I was recovering from our third set of core work and had only absorbed the gist of what he was trying to communicate. After the session, I had to get ready for work quickly, and the morning flew by. I did not have time to eat my morning yogurt and fruit and only had time to manage half of my salad. At a social event I had a beer and a potato pierogi and then headed to the gym for cardio.
By the time I met Triathlete for dinner at Lebanese Taverna in Bethesda, I was coasting on fumes. We shared some mezza—mostly vegetarian—and I said no to a glass of wine. I was glad I was committed to staying focused, because otherwise I might have had two beers in the afternoon and joined Triathlete for a glass of wine with dinner. Even with only having picked up every other word, I figured that was not the fuel Adorable had in mind.
Pre-training Warm Up
Go Do – Jonsi
Viva la Vida – Coldplay
Somewhere Only We Know – Keane
After-work Cardio
(3.88 miles / 65 minutes / mostly 3.7 MPH)
Pumped it up tonight—I needed it.
Timber – Pitbull
Coastin’ – Zion I and K. Flay
Down With The Trumpets – Rizzle Kicks
You’re No Good – Major Lazer
Right Round – Flo Rida (My all-time favorite.)
Envy – 116 Man Up (I love this riff on Bernadette Peters and Tom Wopat in the 1999 Tony award winning revival of Annie Get Your Gun, which featured Mia as Nellie Oakley—you can hear her on the Broadway cast recording.)
Rough Water – Travie McCoy
Club Can’t Handle Me – Flo Rida (This was also playing during our training session just when I thought I was about to go bust—it got me through.)
Cool Down
m.A.A.d city – Kendrick Lamar (Explicit, but incredibly narrative, and a good six-minute focus piece.)
Day 4, April 2, 2014
“Just because it burns.”
—Pink, “Try”
There are moments when I think there are so many parts of my body that need an overhaul that if I could concentrate on fixing one part at a time, the process might seem more productive. I bet when Adorable met me for the first time and considered how he would approach our fitness regimen, he must have felt like a college student looking around his room in the middle of the semester.
Where to begin.
We were catching up that morning and going over my plan for nontraining days, and it struck me how strategic fitness training is. I’m the last to find out the plan for a training session, which is okay by me, but if a trainer begins each session as if it’s the first time you’ve worked together or who wants to try out something new in the gym, you need to move on. I have little goals and big goals, and that’s where the strategy part comes in. I think that’s why Adorable said it takes 16 weeks of intensely working out to see results; you can’t work everything at the same time. Bummer, I know! Wouldn’t it be nice to see your arms slim down after pumping 30 leg lifts?
My little goals are to build stamina and to go shopping in my closet. My big goals are to go running on the Capital Crescent Trail and to let the sun see as much of my skin as is legally acceptable without embarrassing Mia and Adin.
I had to be at work for an early meeting, so I did a quick workout. I didn’t do any yoga that evening, since I was co-hosting a Meet the Candidate Dessert at my house with Jordan Cooper, Democratic Maryland General Assembly Candidate representing District 16, a fellow Vassar College alum. My guilty pleasure was a single slice of chocolate babka from Green’s of Brooklyn.
Warm Up
Try – Pink
Monster – Eminem
Before-work Cardio
(3 miles / 45 minutes / 3.7 MPH; arm bike 5 minutes).
Blurred Lines – Glee cast version (Don’t judge.)
I Am the Best – 2NE1 (Adin sent me this one.)
Get Lucky – Daft Punk
Stronger – Kanye
Sunshine – Mos Def
Crazy Kids – Kesha
American Idiot – Green Day
Cool down
The Boxer – Mumford and Sons version
Fare Thee Well – Mumford and Sons
Day 5, April 3, 2014
“Tell it like it is”
