a boyfriend . . . he’d been single for a while, doing a bit of casual dating but nothing serious, and his friends were warning him that if you remain single too long it becomes a way of life and your relationship muscles shrivel up and atrophy. So when he found the card, he figured he’d go through the motions and take the initiative, even though it seemed ridiculously unlikely that it would lead to anything.
Lars was shocked that Ron even remembered him, thinking that Ron must give out his card on the subway all the time, but as they talked, he realized that Ron had never done such a thing before or since. They talked for forty minutes and at the end, Lars gave Ron his home number, his work number, his address, and his cell phone number. Ron said, “Well, you have my work number” and left it at that. Now Lars was paying attention, so he said, “Something is strange here. Are you involved with someone?” “Well, sort of.” said Ron. “Well, if you ever become totally available, give me a call.” was Lars’ reply. A few weeks later, Ron and his boyfriend finally decided to split up. Ron actually called his former boyfriend, the one who was older and very successful, and asked if he could use the empty apartment he kept in New York. (The ex-boyfriend had moved to L.A.) His ex said fine, and Ron moved out of the apartment he was in and into this one. The first call he made was to Lars.
Lars spent about two weeks having long conversations with Ron, making sure that he would not just be a rebound relationship. They then got together, and the rest is history. They’ve been partners for the last thirty years.
Oh, and by the way, the list Ron had placed on his refrigerator years before . . . described Lars to a tee.
It Took Five Disasters to Bring Them Together
Without the simultaneous occurrence of five disasters, Rene and Peter would have never gotten together. Rene had spent several years caring for her ailing father who was suffering from Alzheimer’s Disease. Shortly after he died, her mother developed the same disease. Rene, who had been single for a long time, was the only child really in a position to give up her life as she knew it and care for her mother. After several years during which Rene spent most of her time shuttling between her home in New York, her mother’s homes in Florida and New Jersey, and her brother’s home in Los Angeles, where her mother often stayed, Rene’s mother finally died.
The next day, when Rene picked up the phone to call one of her oldest and dearest friends, Penny, to tell her her mother had died, Penny informed Rene that she had just been diagnosed with stage 4 lymphoma. Rene had always been a natural caretaker. In addition to taking care of both her dying parents she had also spent many years volunteering at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center and continues to do so to this day. So even though her mother had just died, Rene volunteered to come to New Jersey to accompany Penny to all her chemotherapy sessions and help take care of her during her treatment.
While this was going on, Penny’s brother Peter was having his own problems. Peter lived in Florida, and after a fifteen-year marriage, his wife told him that she wanted a divorce. At the same time, in the course of a one-month period, two of Peter’s best friends committed suicide. Then Peter got the call that his sister had cancer. Like Rene, Peter volunteered to come up to New Jersey to take care of her.
Rene had known Peter slightly from high school, but basically she’d just known him as Penny’s older brother. Rene and Peter spent a lot of time sitting in chemo waiting rooms and hanging out and helping Penny at her home. Rene began to notice that she felt really comfortable with Peter, although she wasn’t feeling any romantic feelings. But as time went on and they began to spend more time together, feelings started to grow between them. It was a long, complex courtship, both were recovering from a lot of pain and trauma, but they took their time, often not being in contact for months as they each took care of their personal business in their own cities, going as slowly as they needed to with each other. After about nine months, a love that was stronger than either of them had ever experienced blossomed and they are now married.
Michael was the extremely successful owner of a very large company. Lisa worked running one of the departments. They hardly knew each other. One day, Michael was giving someone a tour of the company facilities and when they got to Lisa’s department, the man who was receiving the tour said, “Is she your wife?” That was a really strange thing to say out of the blue, but Michael found himself saying, “No, but I wish she was.”
Now Michael had recently been through a very painful divorce and he says that Lisa looked like a much younger version of his ex-wife, although considering how rancorous that divorce had been, it’s surprising that he would have had feelings for anyone who looked like her. Perhaps Lisa was his “type.” At any rate, one thing led to another and they began to go out.
But as they got more serious, Michael’s distrust and his memory of past failed relationships made him reluctant to want to commit. Michael was a good deal older than Lisa and felt they wanted different things. Lisa was pressuring him for more commitment. Finally, Lisa gave him an ultimatum, and when he didn’t rise to it, Lisa left.
For the next period of time, they were apart and Michael began to date other women. Being a very wealthy man, he would drive up in an antique Bentley, pick up his date, drive to the airport where they would board his private Gulfstream jet, fly over to Martha’s Vineyard or some such place for dinner, and fly back. As Michael tells it, by the second date many women would be falling in love with him, telling him how sexy he was and how anxious they were to make a commitment. Michael was astute enough to realize that these women were not falling in love with him but rather with the material things he was providing.
During this time, Lisa had worked very hard to get over Michael. She went through months of tears and pain and finally felt she had let go and was ready to move on. Then, one day, after nine months of separation, the phone rang and it was Michael. She couldn’t imagine why he was calling. Michael told her that, after months of empty dating, he had realized that Lisa was the one who had loved him for himself and not for his money and that he was now willing to make the commitment and marry her. They’ve been together ever since.
In a Bar
I met two people in a restaurant the other day. She’s forty, he’s sixty, they’ve been married less than a year, and amazingly enough, it’s a first marriage for both. They happily own a restaurant in Nantucket together, as well as having two careers in New York. Since I collect stories about how people met, I asked her to tell me theirs. “How did you meet?” I asked. “In a bar,” was her reply.
Sometimes it’s just that simple.
A Pickup
On September 22, 1990, Russell went out to a bar in Wilmington, North Carolina, met Anthony, brought him home, and they’ve been together ever since. They were legally married on September 5, 2013 in Potomac, MD.
He Went to That Party He Didn’t Want to Go To
Burgess had had a horrible breakup with his former boyfriend,
