that 94 percent of Americans felt these conversations were important, but less than one-third actually had such dialogues with loved ones. When asked why they hadn’t broached the subject, respondents listed a variety of reasons, including: “I’m not sick yet,” “I might upset my loved ones,” “It never seems like the right time,” and “I don’t know how to start the conversation.”
What to Ask Your Financial Advisor
When deciding on a potential financial advisor, Johnson recommends starting with an interview and asking some basic questions:
• Are you independent and objective? (The best advice usually comes from unbiased sources. Be aware of how your advisor gets paid. Financial incentives to suggest certain financial products may lead to advice that is not in your best interests.)
• Will you create a comprehensive financial plan for me?
• Will the investment plan be coordinated with the financial plan?
• Will the investment plan be coordinated with my tax returns?
• Will the investment plan be coordinated with my estate plan?
Overall, your financial advisor should be able to help you bring many facets of your financial life together in a coordinated, optimized way.
While death and dying are still taboo subjects to many, they become increasingly important as we reach midlife—not only to us, but to our children and, in some cases, our aging parents. Experts agree that the best time to discuss end-of-life care and wishes is before a life-threatening illness or health crisis, when you are not under duress. By preparing in advance, you can reduce stress for yourself and your loved ones and make educated decisions that may include input from those closest to you. And, because unexpected end-of-life situations can happen at any age, all adults should have advance directives in place.
In the simplest terms, advance directives describe your preferences regarding treatment if you’re faced with a serious accident or illness. These legal documents speak for you if you are unable to speak for yourself. Your family and physicians will consult your advance directives if you are unable to make your own healthcare decisions, thereby reducing confusion and disagreement. Advance directives typically include:
• A living will—This written document specifically outlines the types of medical treatments and life-sustaining measures you want and don’t want, such as artificial breathing (respiration and ventilation), feeding tubes, or resuscitation. In some states, living wills may be called healthcare declarations or healthcare directives. It’s also important to note that laws differ by state. For instance, some states do not have living will statutes, in which a clear and convincing declaration of end-of-life wishes must be documented, typically in the medical power of attorney, while others do.
• Medical or healthcare power of attorney (POA)—This legal document, which may also be called a Durable Power of Attorney, designates an individual (referred to as your healthcare agent or proxy) to make medical decisions for you if you are unable to do so. (Note: This is different from a power of attorney authorizing someone to make financial transactions for you.)
• Do not resuscitate (DNR) order—This is a written request to forgo cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) if your heart stops or you stop breathing. Advance directives do not have to include a DNR, and you aren’t required to have advance directives in place to request a DNR. Your physician can put a DNR order in your medical chart. It’s important to note that many states require a separate DNR form, which is state-specific and bears the signature of a physician (see chapter 5 for more details).
These legalities may seem overwhelming or even a bit depressing to consider, but they are necessary to ensure that your end-of-life wishes are carried out and help your loved ones during an already difficult time. While most of these documents are readily available online, consulting an attorney or, more specifically, an attorney who specializes in elder law is highly recommended, as laws and terminology differ by state. These professionals can walk you through the process, explain your options, and answer questions along the way. They can also help you plan for all the “what ifs” that you may not have considered before. The cost of preparing these documents is generally very affordable. However, if fees are a concern, many communities offer free or low-cost legal resources to help you draft these important documents. The National Elder Law Foundation (nelf.org) can help you find a local attorney. If possible, select a certified elder law attorney, which is considered the gold standard in the industry.
Keep in mind, documents don’t replace conversations! Simply stashing these documents away in a safe deposit box somewhere doesn’t help anyone. It’s vital to have open, honest conversations with your spouse, adult children, or other family members who may be involved in future caregiving or decision making. Share these documents with them (all parties should have a copy) and explain your wishes in person, if possible. Before appointing a POA, be sure that individual understands your requests and is willing to accept the responsibility. It’s also a good idea to review these documents every year or so, as things change.
If you are finding it difficult to initiate these conversations with aging parents or adult children, as the case may be, the Conversation Project offers some tips for getting started at www.theconversationproject.org. Groups such as the AARP and the Area Agencies on Aging are also good resources for how to get started and what topics to consider. Many people note that once the end-of-life subject is broached, this conversation can be one of the most meaningful talks they’ve ever had with their loved ones.
Health Factors
Prevention Is the Best Medicine
As discussed, many of the illnesses that were once associated with aging are largely avoidable and can be successfully treated. The keys are prevention and early diagnosis. Quite simply, the choices we make in our 50s regarding our health can greatly affect the quality of life in our late years. Even if you’ve neglected your health up to this point, it’s never too late to make improvements. Now is the time to take control.
Smoking
Let’s start with the culprit behind most preventable causes of death and disease in the United States—smoking. You may be familiar with the warnings regarding emphysema, bronchitis, and lung cancer, but did you know that smoking is also linked to heart disease and stroke? In fact, more smokers die from heart attacks than respiratory problems, and among those under 50, cigarette smoking is the number one risk factor for cardiovascular disease. Smoking damages the walls of your arteries, making them more susceptible to atherosclerosis (narrowing and hardening of the arteries), decreases circulation, increases blood pressure, reduces oxygen levels in the blood, and ups your chances of developing blood clots. Evidence also suggests that smoking contributes to unhealthy cholesterol levels.
And it’s not just cigarettes that are cause for concern—chewing tobacco and other products containing nicotine, such as smokeless cigarettes, can also be detrimental to your health. If you’re a tobacco user, the best thing you can do to improve your health is to stop, now! Even if you’ve smoked for many years, the health benefits of kicking the habit are immediate and improve over time. Within 20 minutes of your last cigarette, nicotine stops constricting blood vessels, your heart rate slows down, and your blood pressure decreases. After 8 to 10 hours without lighting up, your circulation begins to improve, carbon monoxide levels in your blood drop, and oxygen levels increase (your organs will thank you). After 24 smoke-free hours, your heart attack risk is reduced, and the body continues to heal with each passing day. Studies show that after a year of quitting,
