To believe she has a right to her rage,
Which she can use to set herself free.
So I ask “Isn’t protection a good thing?
Not be ambushed by mother’s attacks?”
She pauses. Then instantly it hits me:
She wants to be with mother relaxed.
She wants to be a little more separate,
And inwardly a little more secure.
She wants to go about her own business,
Not worrying about mother’s manure.
Then she makes this most thrilling connection;
Excitement almost lifts her from her seat:
The biblical story of young David,
Who girds for Goliath’s defeat.14
He took off the armor Saul gave him,
With its weight he couldn’t even move.
He went forth as himself, with his staff, sling, and stones,
Empowered by his trust in God’s presence and love.
Part of the power of a really good story
Is that each character is one part of us;
King Saul here insists that David wear armor;
Just like my patient, he at first thinks he must.
But once it’s all on, David too takes exception:
He can’t move freely with the weight of Saul’s gear.
The armor at first seems to offer protection,
But now David sees that it’s a mask for his fear.
David in the story is the one who’s outside.
He comes on the scene provisions to provide.
He sees armies preparing each day for a battle,
The enemy’s psy. ops.15 is Goliath’s proud prattle.
But his strutting on stage is a giant distraction,
Of course neither army really wants to fight.
They’re locked in this drama of mutual destruction
Stuck in two options: domination or fright.
Fear plays a big role in the story,
But David isn’t caught in its grip;
He dares to imagine the giant can be killed,
But his brother gets angry when he hears of it.
He tears into David with a vengeance,
Accusing him of evil and presumption;
That entertainment’s his real reason for attendance,
That even as a shepherd he barely can function.
We begin to see David’s resiliency.
He shrugs; says, “What have I done now?
It was only a question.”16 With agility
He turns away and moves on from the blow.
His courage reaches the ears of King Saul,
Who summons him to give an account.
“Let no one’s heart fail,”17 David says,
The Living God’s spared me on many a count.
Through David, God enters the story;
“The Living God,”18 David’s wont to say—
Implying that in contrast to God’s glory,
Without God, it’s death that holds sway.
So David takes off all the heavy armor,
Which along with the taunts is pretense;
He’s a shepherd with five stones from the wadi,
The Living God is his certain defense.
It’s human to believe we’re in charge,
That whatever we accomplish is ours.
Through David the story reminds us,
That without God our strength is but dust.
It can be scary to believe in oneself,
Especially without a mother’s blessing;
But, as my patient knows, to be anyone else,
Leaves one fearful, angry, feeling “less-than.”
David isn’t rocked by the giant’s deriding.
“You come to me with sword and spear,” he said;
“But I come to you in the name . . . of the God . . . you’ve defied,”19
Who today will deliver into my hand your head.
David’s move towards the giant is decisive.
The giant mocks him and is proudly derisive.
But David is himself, trusting God, who gives victory:
An instance of God’s love conquering fear throughout history.
This Living God “does not save by sword and spear”;
I want everyone assembled to hear, David said;
“This battle is the Lord’s,”20 the victory he’ll provide.
The stone pierced Goliath’s forehead and Giant Fear died.
So my patient is also moving forward,
Trusting more in her own sling and stones.
On
