INTIMATE TREASON
CLAUDIA BLACK, PHD and
CARA TRIPODI, LCSW
CENTRAL RECOVERY PRESS
Central Recovery Press (CRP) is committed to publishing exceptional materials addressing addiction treatment, recovery, and behavioral healthcare topics, including original and quality books, audio/visual communications, and web-based new media. Through a diverse selection of titles, we seek to contribute a broad range of unique resources for professionals, recovering individuals and their families, and the general public.
For more information, visit www.centralrecoverypress.com.
Central Recovery Press, Las Vegas, NV 89129
© 2012 by Claudia Black and Cara Tripodi. All rights reserved.
Published 2012.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.
Publisher: Central Recovery Press
3321 N. Buffalo Drive
Las Vegas, NV 89129
17 16 15 14 13 12 1 2 3 4 5
ISBN-13: 978-1-937612-01-6 (e-book)
Photo of Claudia Black © Brad Reed Photography. Used with permission.
Photo of Cara Tripodi © Sam Fritch Photography. Used with permission.
Image on page 54, used with permission from University of Minnesota Extension Publication #07421; Change: Loss, Opportunity and Resilience by Dr. Sharon M. Danes, Professor, University of Minnesota.
Publisher’s Note: This book contains general information about sex addiction and its effects on relationships. Central Recovery Press makes no representations or warranties in relation to the information herein; it is not an alternative to medical advice from your doctor or other professional healthcare provider.
Our books represent the experiences and opinions of their authors only. Every effort has been made to ensure that events, institutions, and statistics presented in our books as facts are accurate and up-to-date. To protect their privacy, some of the names of people and institutions have been changed.
Cover design and interior layout by Sara Streifel, Think Creative Design
Cara Tripodi dedicates this book to
Kathy Farley—your quiet, steady, and compassionate presence
inspired me personally and professionally. You are greatly missed.
Claudia Black dedicates this book to
Lorie Dwinell—you believed in me and championed me from
the start of my personal recovery and professional growth,
continuing to be by my side all of these years.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Chapter One: Claiming My Reality
Telling My Story: The Day My World Changed
Grappling with the Language of Sex Addiction
The Ripple Effect: Cost of Addiction in My Life
Bottom Lines: Nonnegotiable Boundaries
Developing a Strong Support System
The Road Ahead
Chapter Two: Turning Inward
Vision for Self
Living in Limbo
Defining Trauma Responses
Grieving the Betrayals
My Losses
Letters to Myself
My Fluctuating Feelings
Listening to My Body
Personal Strengths
Chapter Three: My Part of the Dance
A. Emotional Challenges
Stepping Out of Reaction into Action
Unraveling the Myths of Control
My Relationship with Anger
The Myth of Perfectionism
B. Perception Challenges
Coping or Defending: The Paradox of Facing Your Reality
Removing the Veil of Denial
Protecting the Illusion
Cloudy to Clear: Transforming Distorted Thinking
Magical Thinking: Challenging the Fantasy
Stepping Out of the Victim Role
Tolerating the Intolerable
C. Psychological Challenges
My Risky Behaviors
Other Emotional Concerns
Chapter Four: Recognizing
