books represent the experiences and opinions of their authors only. Every effort has been made to ensure that events, institutions, and statistics presented in our books as facts are accurate and up-to-date. To protect their privacy, the names of some of the people, places, and institutions in this book may have been changed.
Cover and interior design and layout by Sara Streifel, Think Creative Design
To my parents, Ann and Jack, for always giving me your blessing and support to become whatever the hell I want to be.
“The greatest hazard of all, losing the self, can occur very quietly in the world, as if it were nothing at all. No other loss can occur so quietly; any loss—an arm, a leg, five dollars, a wife, etc.—is sure to be noticed.”
—Søren Kierkegaard, The Sickness Unto Death1
TABLE OF CONTENTS
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
INTRODUCTION
PHILOSOPHY AS A WAY OF LIFE
CHAPTER ONE
PHILOSOPHICAL DIAGNOSES AND CURES
CHAPTER TWO
HOW IS ADDICTION LIKE LIVING IN A CAVE?
CHAPTER THREE
EXISTENTIAL CONCUSSIONS
CHAPTER FOUR
FROM WILLPOWER TO WILL TO POWER
CHAPTER FIVE
DOES ADDICTION HIJACK THE BRAIN?
CHAPTER SIX
FORMS OF LIFE: ADDICTS ARE FROM MARS AND NONADDICTS FROM PLUTO
CHAPTER SEVEN
THE TRAIN’S ONLY STOP IS TERMINAL UNIQUENESS
CHAPTER EIGHT
STORIES, CONNECTIONS, AND BAD LOGIC
CHAPTER NINE
WHY IS IT SO HARD TO TRUST YOURSELF?
CHAPTER TEN
“SHOULDING” ALL OVER YOURSELF
CHAPTER ELEVEN
FEELING LIKE A MORAL FAILURE
CHAPTER TWELVE
THINKING AND LIVING CONTRADICTIONS
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
MORAL INDIFFERENCE
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
WHAT YOU DO BECOMES WHO YOU ARE
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
THE IMPORTANCE OF FRIENDSHIP
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
SUPERSIZING TO A PASSIONATE COMMITMENT
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
THE LIFE OF PLEASURE OR THE LIFE OF ETHICS
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
LEAPING OUT OF DESPAIR
CHAPTER NINETEEN
WOULD YOU CHOOSE THE SAME LIFE FOR ETERNITY?
CHAPTER TWENTY
IS THERE LIGHT AT THE END OF SUFFERING?
CONCLUSION
NOTES
BIBLIOGRAPHY
THE IMAGE OF AN AUTHOR SCRIBBLING AWAY IN SOLITUDE DOESN’T fit me; writing this book has been a very social and fun enterprise. My friends and family have provided enormous emotional support, intellectual challenge, and gales of laughter. I am evidence of a central theme in this book—the right friends make us better people.
A few friends deserve special mention because I would often bounce ideas off them, and they would happily play along. Mary Beth, Cathy, Sheri, Patty, and Mary are my recovery posse. They would dive into a pig pile to rescue me. In fact, they would do it in great style.
My racquet-wielding friends were especially patient with me when I’d be distracted by a philosophical problem while we were already in the second set. Thanks to VB, Patty, David, Bob, and Will for letting me pound out philosophical confusions on the tennis court even as I swung at volleys. Often after a match, I had an answer to the problem that had distracted me.
I owe my mother more than I could ever calculate, never mind repay. I cherish the conversations we’ve had while writing this book. The same is true of my brother John, my sister Anne, and my favorite aunt, Lynn. Thanks to Lisa for helping me grow as a philosopher.
Special thanks to philosophy major, Sean Kehren, Gustavus Adolphus College, for his work on the references. Off he marched with the manuscript and a big box of books. Back he came with meticulous endnotes.
Some of the pieces presented here appeared in shorter form on my Psychology Today blog, “Philosophy Stirred, Not Shaken,” and earlier versions of three chapters were originally published in The New York Times. These have been wonderful venues for test-driving my ideas and concepts.
Eliza Tutellier of Central Recovery Press pushed me in all the right ways, which resulted in a much better book. Every writer should have such an editor.
MY NAME IS PEG O’CONNOR. I AM AN ALCOHOLIC AND I am a philosopher. I think many addicts are philosophically inclined and are searching for a or the meaning of life. We just tend to look in the wrong places for a long time. I know I did. Our lives have provided many opportunities to confront some of the most basic questions about life, which are also some of the most vexing philosophical questions. Addicts live answers to many of these questions. Life on the Rocks brings these questions and ways of living into sharper focus, without assuming any familiarity with philosophy.
Addicts struggle with issues of self-identity, moral responsibility, self-knowledge and self-deception, free will and
