introduce him as “Jesse, my sinner friend.” I think I’m not unusual in saying that all my friends are sinner friends, because, other than my cat, they are all human.
It’s hard for me not to assume that these TV preachers, when they talk about how they “once were sinners” really mean that they were once immoral and now that they are Christians they don’t do the things Christians are not supposed to do and they do do the things that Christians are supposed to do.
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The teaser for today’s show indicates that he’s in the middle of a series entitled “Taking Ownership of What’s Ours.” And he starts at the Beginning. Literally. Jesse tells the creation story from his viewpoint, namely, that God existed and that the angels were created at the time God created the heavens, after which he created earth and sea and…oysters because “God knew a Cajun was gonna come and show people how to cook them. And he created trees with seeds already in them, so what came first the chicken or the egg?” Without the slightest hesitation or irony Jesse boldly proclaims, “The Chicken. Because without the chicken there is no egg.”
Laughter explodes in my living room. We can’t even breathe, except Jay, who manages to say “Could he now maybe unpack the whole ‘why did the chicken cross the road’ thing for us? That’d be awesome.”
Jesse’s trying to explain how jealous and angry the angels must have felt when God said, “Let us make man in our own image”:
The angels say “Man? What is that? You’re going to make a new life species to look like you?” [God says] “Not only to look like me but for me to dwell in like a habitation.” [The angels say,] “Why do you need them?” [God:] “Partnership.” [Angels:] “But you have us.” [God:] “I know, but I’m gonna give them something you don’t have.” Oh Lord, we’re getting into some deep stuff here.
The audience is really worked up. Jesse goes on to claim that the reason Adam didn’t take ownership of what was his is because he didn’t understand himself. “But when I finish today, you’re going to understand yourself.” So God gives this species more power than any other species: dominion over the earth. “That’s why Satan is jealous of you. You got something he didn’t get.”
“Wow, Satan’s really petty, huh?” Annie adds. “So the devil hates us because we, like, have toasters and cell phones?”
“No,” I respond, “that’s why the Taliban hates us.”
Jesse now refers back to the Genesis text: “Image and likeness of God…. whewww. What is man that thou visiteth him? I’m talking about taking ownership of what is ours. Because if you don’t believe in yourself, you can’t believe in anything. I learned that from Jesus. I always speak well of myself to myself.” So at this point Jesse goes off a little bit about how he talks to himself in the mirror thusly:
Do you know who you are? Do you know how much God loves you and will do anything for you if you ask in his name? Do you know just how good you are? Some think that is egotism. No. That’s ownership. Didn’t Jesus do that? He said, “I’m the way, I’m the truth, I’m the light.”
I can’t help but say “Um, but see, he was Jesus, and I’m thinking that’s kind of what separates you.”
Quoting a Stuart Smalley skit from Saturday Night Live, Annie says, “I’m good enough I’m smart enough “
Exactly.
Jesse continues, “I’m here to tell you who you are and what you own.”
Annie: “There’s a kernel of truth in this The Imago Dei is powerful.”
I agree. As Lutherans with our whole simultaneously sinner and saint thing, I have to admit we can focus a little too much on the sinner and a little too little on the saint. We are, all of us, indeed the beloved of God. This idea of being a saint, of being the beloved, is so obviously dangerous when not paired with the reality that we are also sinners, but maybe the converse is also true. Not to live into the reality that we are children of God, the truly beloved, is perhaps just as harmful as thinking we are not still sinners.
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Jesse: “You’re a totally different life species because he gave you ownership. Do you know anything [the angel] Gabriel owns? Have you read anywhere where [the angel] Michael owns something? They are in the army of the Lord, but God has given great things to man. We are the only species that he visits.”
Annie interjects that “God doesn’t visit Gabriel because they live together. He’s probably sick of those guys anyway.”
What, I wonder, are the great things God has given to man? Great things like the noble qualities one might have or the humanity that one might experience in God and in community, or are they great things like caramel corn and memory foam mattresses?
Jesse: “So man’s function is to rule over all kingdoms of life beneath him.”
Annie terms this, “The theology of manifest destiny.”
Winding up the message, Jesse answers a big question and makes a bigger uh oh. “Why does man have dominion? Because he is a ruler. He is a king of kings and a lord…well, he’s not the king of kings, Jesus is the king of kings but he’s the king we king over.” We all look at each other in disbelief. In the most profound Freudian slip while attempting to explain who we are and what we own, Jesse calls man the king of kings and lord of…oops. I think this is pretty telling. Trying to dig himself out from the “man is the king of kings” hole, he self-corrects by saying “Jesus is the king of kings,” and then says “he’s the king we king over.” In all fairness, I’m not sure what he was trying to say. I only know what he actually said and it really wraps up his message nicely. We are the king ofkings. God gave us all of the earth to rule over; it’s all ours. We are the Charlie to God’s chocolate factory; we just have to realize that we are Charlie and claim the candy.
The only problem is that ownership is not the same as caretaking. And this is an equally valid translation of that Genesis account. We are stewards, not owners. The earth and all that is in it belong not to us, but to God. We are charged with its care. And we’re doing a bang-up job I must say. I wonder how much longer this “we can do anything we want to with the planet because God handed us the deed” line of thinking can continue. The good news here is that conservatives and liberals both theologically and politically have begun to come together over mutual concern for the care of the planet; Green Christianity is a growing movement, as well it should be. The only problem, of course, is with people like myself who are more likely to make “green” choices when they grant us a higher status in the new eco-tocracy, or are at least stylish, but crossing the line into genuine self-sacrifice? No thanks.
The show wraps up with Jesse in a studio talking directly to the camera about how Jesus gave us rulership over everything on the planet. “Get ready for something good; we just have to receive it in Jesus name.”
What follows is an ad for Voice of the Covenant magazine, and a five-CD set, Taking Ownership of What Is Yours, for $59. Looking into the camera, Jesse is talking with the $59-CD set in his hands. “I’m telling you if you haven’t ordered this yet you are missing God, because it is a great revelation from the Lord Jesus Christ.” I’m thinking that would be a really effective thing to put on the back cover of the book. Forget endorsements from people who, unlike myself, are actual writers. We should just put in bold face, “If you haven’t bought this book
